Watch Harrison’s hockey-themed parody of R. Kelly’s ‘Genius’ with ‘Ex-Head Coach’ [VIDEO]

With a few exceptions — a smouldering Dallas Eakins comes to mind — hockey head coaches typically aren’t all that sexy. But maybe, just maybe, the clichés they spout during press conferences and interviews can be, if the slow jam is just slow enough and possesses just the right amount of jam.

To that end, we present “Ex-Head Coach”, Harrison’s absurd, hockey-themed parody of R. Kelly’s super gross “Genius”. Harrison changed all the lyrics and kept all the gross.

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Jimmy Fallon calls Roberto Luongo ‘Count Chocula’, has no clue how to pronounce his name [VIDEO]

It’s the NHL playoffs, which means it’s time for television newscasters and personalities who haven’t the first clue about hockey to start pretending like they care about the NHL. This is particularly true for those on NBC, the American rights holder for the NHL.

Poor Jimmy Fallon was clearly asked by his bosses at NBC to work the NHL into his show on Monday night. Games have already been shown on NBC Sports Network and CNBC, but the main channel will start showing games starting on Saturday, May 18th, and clearly want to build some buzz. Fallon has shown an ability to create some virality in the past and NBC hoped he’d do the same for the NHL playoffs.

One problem: it’s not that Fallon doesn’t know the first thing about hockey — he doesn’t know the second, third, or fourth thing either. One of those things he doesn’t know is how to pronounce the names of any hockey player with a name more complicated than “Ryan.” Fallon worked the NHL into one of his existing bits — Late Night Superlatives — with simultaneously hilarious and horribly awkward results.

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Watch Dan Hamhuis spring Steven Stamkos with long-bomb pass for Team Canada OT winner [VIDEO]

Immediately after the Canucks were eliminated from the postseason, Dan Hamhuis, along with the Canucks’ swedish contingent and Nicklas Jensen, accepted the invitation to World Hockey Championships in Stockholm.

Steve Yzerman and Lindy Ruff, Team Canada’s GM and head coach, respectively, must think highly of Hamhuis. With his arrival, Yzerman all but declared his team-building job complete, despite P.K. Subban becoming available. And as for Ruff, he handed Hamhuis huge minutes in his debut: The Canucks’ defenceman led all Team Canada skaters with 22:38 of ice time in a 2-1 win over the Czech Republic. (One suspects this was either Ruff playing his best all-around veteran defenceman in a tight game, or this was an otherwise unemployed Lindy Ruff trying to show Mike Gillis, who may or may not be looking for a new coach, how well he gets along with Dan Hamhuis. But I digress.)

Hamhuis was even more impactful in his second game, a 4-3 overtime win over Slovenia. The Smithers native was on the ice for just two goals in Canada’s come-from-behind victory: Team Canada’s first goal and Team Canada’s last goal.

On their last, the Community Man pitched in in a big way, making a beautiful pass to Steven Stamkos, the best guy to pass it to, for the overtime winner.

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David Booth teaches us a new word: ‘nefarious’ [VIDEO]

Canucks fans are all too aware of how David Booth spent the NHL lockout. It was a bone of contention for quite some time, exacerbated by his season-ending injury that cut short any possibility of quieting the controversy with his play on the ice.

But it turns out took a break from enraging liberal-minded Vancouverites in order to enlarge the minds of some teenaged Michiganders. Booth recorded a video for Lutheran High School North, his alma mater in Macomb, Michigan, teaching the students the Word of the Week — “nefarious” — and it’s both horribly awkward and outrageously hilarious.

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Watch seven minutes of questionable officiating, if four games wasn’t enough for you [VIDEO]

Let’s get right out in front of this: the Canucks didn’t lose this series because of officiating. They lost because the Sharks were better, because San Jose’s speed on the forecheck gave them fits, because they couldn’t handle the Sharks’ depth down the middle, and because their penalty-kill went lame at the worst possible time.

But even still, man alive, did that lame penalty kill get a lot of chances to fail, especially compared to San Jose’s. Granted, the Sharks were going to draw more penalties because they had the puck more and they were faster, but as TSN analyst Ray Ferraro noted in Game 4, “From a Vancouver standpoint, you have to feel like any time there has been a 50/50 call, it’s gone against you. They have to be furious.”

The Canucks were indeed furious. While, again, the Sharks made it to Round 2 the old-fashioned way — by outplaying their Round 1 opponent — San Jose was also handed a few big-time momentum shifts throughout the series as a result of some oddball calls. There aren’t many outside of San Jose who feel Daniel Sedin’s penalty in overtime was warranted, for instance.

But as this video from Canucks fan and prolific Youtuber Makaveli suggests, there’s a case to be made that the questionable officiating went beyond that.

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Pass it to Bulis presents a musical mockumentary: ‘Poonerman’ [VIDEO]

In case you were not aware, Harrison and I, your (hopefully) esteemed hosts here at Pass it to Bulis, are both musically inclined. Harrison once fronted the incredible funk band, Cinnamon Toast Funk, while I am in the rock band Minnesota Nice. We’ve combined our musical efforts in the past on the blog, with “Song for Nelson Ong.”

During the NHL lockout, Harrison wrote two parody songs that I got the chance to contribute to. “Lockout Man” was our first effort, a parody of the Elton John classic “Rocket Man.” Then Harrison and Sean Gentille of Sporting News got the idea to parody Robyn’s “Call Your Girlfriend,” switching it to “Call The Union.” It led to a ludicrously precise music video parody that featured Harrison wearing obscenely tight yoga pants.

When news came out that Brian Burke was suing a host of internet commenters for defamation, we quickly realized that the whole situation was ripe for parody. The defendants were listed only by their usernames, including gems like “Sir Psycho Sexy,” “cambarkerfan,” and “Slobberface,” but the name that really stuck out was “Poonerman.”

Harrison recruited myself and his former bandmate in Cinnamon Toast Funk, Bryan Binnema, to come up with the perfect parody song about Poonerman and his legal troubles. Unfortunately, it turns out that the situation is too ripe for parody and we just couldn’t land on a single song.

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Vancouver acrobat raises bar for Canucks fan videos, does one-handed handstand on it [VIDEO]

We’ve seen our fair share of fan videos here at Pass it to Bulis. We’ve seen singer/songwriters write songs and sing them, as is their modus operandi. We’ve seen rappers lay down tracks in support of the team. We’ve seen amateur filmmakers like David McKay blow us away with their vision and execution.

But, until today, we had never seen an acrobat paint himself in Canucks colours and scale a pole outside of Rogers Arena in support of the home team. This may be strangest and most incredible Canucks fan video you’ll ever see:

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Harrison Mooney takes towel power to the streets of Vancouver [VIDEO]

One of the best parts about being a Canucks fan during the playoffs is the time-honoured tradition of towel power, when Canucks fans wave a white towel over their heads like madmen, commemorating the only time that surrendering was a badass, rebellious move.

Other teams, including some in other sports, have adopted the idea of a rally towel and the Pittsburgh Steelers inaugurated the Terrible Towel before Roger Neilson waved the white flag to the referees during the Campbell Conference Finals in 1982. It holds special significance for Canucks fans, however, as the Canucks rallied around their coach, eliminating the Chicago Blackhawks in five games, and going to the Stanley Cup Finals for the first time in franchise history.

Are you ready for the playoffs? Do you have your rally towel out and ready to wave? No? Because if you don’t, Harrison Mooney will find you.

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Watch these 5 intense Canucks playoff pump-up videos, become sufficiently pumped up

The Canucks played their last game of the regular-season last Monday (despite being scheduled for two more games after). Their next challenge: the 2013 postseason, which begins Wednesday night in Vancouver versus the San Jose Sharks.

Playoff hockey means a few things: more intensity, higher stakes, beards, and a ton of playoff pump-up videos uploaded to Youtube. So many. It’s crazy. Users upload an hour of video to Youtube per second. This weekend, it was mostly footage of Kevin Bieksa making his angry face.

Since we love a good pump-up video here at PITB, here are five of our favourites.

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New Van Fan, episode 12: The Imposter

We have thoroughly enjoyed the inaugural season of New Van Fan as it’s explored the various oddities of being a dedicated fan of the Vancouver Canucks. We’ve seen Andreas, the titular newbie Canucks fan, get a crash course in being a Canucks fan, learning about Keslurking, despair, what not to say, choosing a scapegoat and the disappointment of the trade deadline. We’ve seen him introduce his own unique contributions to Canucks fandom with Snepsts Day and the Alain Vigneault gum game.

But in this week’s episode, the season finale, Dan and Andreas pulled out all the stops, bringing in a very special guest star: Zack Kassian.

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New Van Fan, Episode 11: Green men

New Van Fan is a web-series that follows the adventures of long-time Canucks fan Dan as he attempts to bring novice Canucks fan Andreas up to speed. The whole thing may or may not be an excuse to point out the inherent silliness of this fanbase — we’re not quite sure. Have an idea for an episode? Suggest it in the comments.

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New Van Fan, Episode 10: Trade deadline

As we’ve learned throughout this web series, Dan is a dedicated fan and he’s recruited Andreas into some of the sillier excesses of being a Canucks fan. One of those sillier excesses we know all too well here at PITB: waking up far too early on trade deadline day.

Trade deadline coverage starts at 8:00 AM Eastern on TSN and Sportsnet, which sounds perfectly reasonable until you realize that translates to 5:00 AM Pacific and that generally no trades happen until at least 10:30 AM Eastern. The odds of the Canucks making a trade anywhere near 5:00 AM are so small that they are currently being scouted by the Montreal Canadiens.

And yet, every trade deadline day, Canucks fans set their alarms to wake up absurdly early and watch their team not do anything for 7 hours. The latest episode of New Van Fan captures the plight of Canucks fans perfectly, as Dan and Andreas’s well-intentioned plans to follow the trade deadline all day long devolve into discussions of obscure, fish-based super powers, Wyshynski’s pants, imaginary Mario Kart games, and impromptu, improvised songwriting. It’s about ten times more entertaining than the actual trade deadline.

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New Van Fan, episode nine: ‘The Scapegoat’

New Van Fan is a web-series that follows the adventures of long-time Canucks fan Dan as he attempts to bring novice Canucks fan Andreas up to speed. The whole thing may or may not be an excuse to point out the inherent silliness of this fanbase — we’re not quite sure. Have an idea for an episode? Suggest it in the comments.

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New Van Fan, episode eight: The Sedins

Andreas has come a long way in his Canucks fandom over the last month or so. In fact, with his innovations like the Snepsts Day and the Alain Vigneault Gum Game, it’s easy to forget that he’s a complete newbie. This episode, then, is a good reminder, as Dan gives Andreas a more complete introduction to the Sedin twins and their wizardry and Andreas discovers for the first time that they, like him, have red hair.

Enjoy episode eight of New Van Fan, where we discover that when it comes to the Sedins, magic isn’t just on the ice — it’s also in the air.

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The nine craziest things from the in-bench brawl between Chicago Wolves and Rockford IceHogs [VIDEO]

The Canucks and Blackhawks have had one of the most heated rivalries in the NHL over the last 4 seasons. Three consecutive meetings in the playoffs tends to have that effect. So it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense that the Canucks have their AHL farm team in Chicago. It would be like if one of the Canucks’ biggest historic rivals had their AHL farm team in the Fraser Valley.

So when the Chicago Wolves, Vancouver’s farm team, meets the Rockford IceHogs, Chicago’s farm team, there is always a little confusion. Maybe that’s why, instead of having a bench-clearing brawl, like normal people, they had a bench-unclearing brawl.

This brawl was more than a little crazy, so here are the 9 craziest things that happened:

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Johnny Canuck returns, honours Vancouver history as incredible series continues (VIDEO)

Things may not have gone as well as the Canucks had hoped it would when they dusted off and donned the Millionaires apparel on Saturday versus the Detroit (although the game was an accurate representation of what would happen if a Vancouver team from 100 years ago played the 2013 Red Wings), but that doesn’t mean the evening wasn’t without highlights.

The uniforms looked fantastic, for one. Say what you will about khaki-coloured hockey pants — I thought they were awesome.

For another, the evening yielded the fifth Johnny Canuck video from Adam Mackay-Smith, the second half of the two-part “Legend of Johnny Canuck” series. And, as we’ve come to expect from the local filmmaker, it was absolutely fantastic. Since it debuted in the arena during the game, and by the time it hit Youtube at game’s end, you may have wanted to expunge the thought of the Canucks-as-Millionaires from your mind forever, there’s a good possibility you haven’t seen it yet. Let’s remedy that immediately:

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New Van Fan, episode seven: ‘Gum Game’

New Van Fan is a web-series that follows the adventures of long-time Canucks fan Dan as he attempts to bring novice Canucks fan Andreas up to speed. The whole thing may or may not be an excuse to point out the inherent silliness of this fanbase — we’re not quite sure. Have an idea for an episode? Suggest it in the comments.

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New Van Fan, episode six: ‘Dumb Things’

New Van Fan is a web-series that follows the adventures of long-time Canucks fan Dan as he attempts to bring novice Canucks fan Andreas up to speed. The whole thing may or may not be an excuse to point out the inherent silliness of this fanbase — we’re not quite sure. Have an idea for an episode? Suggest it in the comments.

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New Van Fan, episode five: ‘Snepsts Day’

New Van Fan is a web-series that follows the adventures of long-time Canucks fan Dan as he attempts to bring novice Canucks fan Andreas up to speed. The whole thing may or may not be an excuse to point out the inherent silliness of this fanbase — we’re not quite sure. Have an idea for an episode? Suggest it in the comments.

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This is the near-miss that ended Manny Malhotra’s season [VIDEO]

Manny Malhotra caused quite the kerfuffle when he skated with the Canucks at Wednesday’s practice. With Ryan Kesler out with a broken foot and Aaron Volpatti on waivers, Malhotra skated on a regular line for drills, leading some to jump to the erroneous conclusion that he might be returning.

Let’s face it: as much as it would be nice to have Malhotra back in the Canucks’ lineup, it would be a clustercuss of unimaginable proportions. It already looked suspicious to have Mike Gillis announce that Malhotra was done for the season just as Kesler was cleared to play; to have Malhotra return as soon as Kesler is out of the lineup again would be a PR nightmare for Gillis and the team. It would put to lie everything that Gillis said about why he made the decision he did and turn it from concern for a player’s long-term health to a cold-hearted and calculated business decision.

According to Dan Murphy, the Canucks have shown Malhotra video of incidents where they felt he was at a higher risk of injury in an effort to convince him of the danger to his long-term health. Murphy specifically indicated one particular incident, where “if Dany Heatley was Cal Clutterbuck, Malhotra could have been in trouble.”

So, I decided to track down this near-miss to see it for myself. How bad was it, or rather, how bad could it have been?

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New Van Fan, episode four: ‘The greatest’ (VIDEO)

New Van Fan is a web-series that follows the adventures of long-time Canucks fan Dan as he attempts to bring novice Canucks fan Andreas up to speed. The whole thing may or may not be an excuse to point out the inherent silliness of this fanbase — we’re not quite sure. Have an idea for an episode? Suggest it in the comments.

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Note to Antoine Roussel: don’t get Zack Kassian angry

Zack Kassian is a surprisingly soft-spoken guy off the ice. In an interview setting, he’s low-key and fairly reserved. He can be that way on the ice sometimes, which likely contributes to his streakiness. It’s likely that motivation rather than skill will be his major limitation early in his career and it will be Vigneault’s challenge to figure out what motivates him.

Different players require different types of motivation, something Vigneault has spoken about in the past. “I think part of coaching is getting the most you can out of the personnel,” he said in a Q and A with the Vancouver Board of Trade in early 2011, “and that’s getting to know your personnel both on and off the ice and how to handle individuals. You can’t treat everybody the same way but you can treat them fairly. Some guys need to be handled with a little bit of cuddling sometimes and some have to be harped on sometimes. That’s what they want.”

I have a suspicion that cuddling is not the best way to motivate Kassian. Instead, Kassian seems to need something to get him emotionally involved. On Thursday night, Antoine Roussel of the Dallas Stars figured out exactly what gets Kassian motivated: royally piss him off.

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Canucks play keepaway in Dallas; why Kesler prevents that from happening more often (VIDEO)

Henrik Sedin has two goals this season, and neither are a result of the Canucks’ Captain making the choice to shoot. In both instances, Alex Burrows has made the choice for him with late, unexpected return passes that leave Henrik with no room and no choice but to do anything other than put the puck towards the goal.

This is the rub when it comes to the Sedins, and Henrik especially: sometimes you have to force the issue. Henrik Sedin has led the NHL in assists for three years in a row. He’s a pure passer; passing is his jam. If he were on the Price is Right Showcase Showdown, he’d pass twice.

We saw yet another example of Henrik’s pass-first mentality Thursday night when he spearheaded a full, two-minute session of keepaway in Dallas. When the Stars went down a man one second before the two-minute mark, it became apparent to Henrik that, in order to nurse the Canucks’ one-goal lead home, all he and his teammates had to do was maintain possession for 120 seconds. No shooting. All passing. Here’s Henrik living the dream, as the Canucks’ powerplay trolls the Dallas Stars.

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Watch ‘New Van Fan’ episodes two and three, featuring Keslurking and despair

Nine days ago, we introduced you to “New Van Fan”, a web series in which Canuck booster “Dan” attempted to teach his buddy “Andreas” the ins and outs of cheering for Vancouver’s local hockey team.

But secretly, this show isn’t just for the noob. The first episode featured valuable advice even for the long-time Canucks booster. “Don’t panic,” Dan told Andreas. “You’re going to want to panic. Don’t panic.” It’s true. Keeping an even keel is difficult for anybody rooting for the boys in blue and green. Canucks fandom throws keels askew. It’s an irregular keel you’re looking for, cheer for this team.

Anyway. Since then, we watched episode one, Dan and Andreas have already starred in episodes two and three. This show is being burned through like the last episodes of an NBC sitcom the network no longer likes. So let’s catch up.

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Jannik Hansen gets one-game ban, which isn’t nearly long enough according to Brendan Shanahan [VIDEO]

The reaction to Jannik Hansen’s hit on Marian Hossa was immediately polarized. Reactions ranged from outrage and demands for 8-15 game suspensions to incredulousness that a penalty was even called on the play. We fell somewhere in the middle: it looked unintentional, but was still careless and resulted in a hit to the head.

Harrison theorized that Hansen would get a one-game suspension due to the recklessness of Hansen’s action and Hossa’s injury history, even though it was essentially an accident.

Brendan Shanahan only half-agreed. Hansen did get suspended one-game, but in the video on the suspension, Shanahan appeared to think the hit was worth far more than that, making his decision completely baffling.

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