In case you were not aware, Harrison and I, your (hopefully) esteemed hosts here at Pass it to Bulis, are both musically inclined. Harrison once fronted the incredible funk band, Cinnamon Toast Funk, while I am in the rock band Minnesota Nice. We’ve combined our musical efforts in the past on the blog, with “Song for Nelson Ong.”

During the NHL lockout, Harrison wrote two parody songs that I got the chance to contribute to. “Lockout Man” was our first effort, a parody of the Elton John classic “Rocket Man.” Then Harrison and Sean Gentille of Sporting News got the idea to parody Robyn’s “Call Your Girlfriend,” switching it to “Call The Union.” It led to a ludicrously precise music video parody that featured Harrison wearing obscenely tight yoga pants.

When news came out that Brian Burke was suing a host of internet commenters for defamation, we quickly realized that the whole situation was ripe for parody. The defendants were listed only by their usernames, including gems like “Sir Psycho Sexy,” “cambarkerfan,” and “Slobberface,” but the name that really stuck out was “Poonerman.”

Harrison recruited myself and his former bandmate in Cinnamon Toast Funk, Bryan Binnema, to come up with the perfect parody song about Poonerman and his legal troubles. Unfortunately, it turns out that the situation is too ripe for parody and we just couldn’t land on a single song.

We’ve seen our fair share of fan videos here at Pass it to Bulis. We’ve seen singer/songwriters write songs and sing them, as is their modus operandi. We’ve seen rappers lay down tracks in support of the team. We’ve seen amateur filmmakers like David McKay blow us away with their vision and execution.

But, until today, we had never seen an acrobat paint himself in Canucks colours and scale a pole outside of Rogers Arena in support of the home team. This may be strangest and most incredible Canucks fan video you’ll ever see:

One of the best parts about being a Canucks fan during the playoffs is the time-honoured tradition of towel power, when Canucks fans wave a white towel over their heads like madmen, commemorating the only time that surrendering was a badass, rebellious move.

Other teams, including some in other sports, have adopted the idea of a rally towel and the Pittsburgh Steelers inaugurated the Terrible Towel before Roger Neilson waved the white flag to the referees during the Campbell Conference Finals in 1982. It holds special significance for Canucks fans, however, as the Canucks rallied around their coach, eliminating the Chicago Blackhawks in five games, and going to the Stanley Cup Finals for the first time in franchise history.

Are you ready for the playoffs? Do you have your rally towel out and ready to wave? No? Because if you don’t, Harrison Mooney will find you.

The Canucks played their last game of the regular-season last Monday (despite being scheduled for two more games after). Their next challenge: the 2013 postseason, which begins Wednesday night in Vancouver versus the San Jose Sharks.

Playoff hockey means a few things: more intensity, higher stakes, beards, and a ton of playoff pump-up videos uploaded to Youtube. So many. It’s crazy. Users upload an hour of video to Youtube per second. This weekend, it was mostly footage of Kevin Bieksa making his angry face.

Since we love a good pump-up video here at PITB, here are five of our favourites.

We have thoroughly enjoyed the inaugural season of New Van Fan as it’s explored the various oddities of being a dedicated fan of the Vancouver Canucks. We’ve seen Andreas, the titular newbie Canucks fan, get a crash course in being a Canucks fan, learning about Keslurking, despair, what not to say, choosing a scapegoat and the disappointment of the trade deadline. We’ve seen him introduce his own unique contributions to Canucks fandom with Snepsts Day and the Alain Vigneault gum game.

But in this week’s episode, the season finale, Dan and Andreas pulled out all the stops, bringing in a very special guest star: Zack Kassian.

New Van Fan is a web-series that follows the adventures of long-time Canucks fan Dan as he attempts to bring novice Canucks fan Andreas up to speed. The whole thing may or may not be an excuse to point out the inherent silliness of this fanbase — we’re not quite sure. Have an idea for an episode? Suggest it in the comments.

As we’ve learned throughout this web series, Dan is a dedicated fan and he’s recruited Andreas into some of the sillier excesses of being a Canucks fan. One of those sillier excesses we know all too well here at PITB: waking up far too early on trade deadline day.

Trade deadline coverage starts at 8:00 AM Eastern on TSN and Sportsnet, which sounds perfectly reasonable until you realize that translates to 5:00 AM Pacific and that generally no trades happen until at least 10:30 AM Eastern. The odds of the Canucks making a trade anywhere near 5:00 AM are so small that they are currently being scouted by the Montreal Canadiens.

And yet, every trade deadline day, Canucks fans set their alarms to wake up absurdly early and watch their team not do anything for 7 hours. The latest episode of New Van Fan captures the plight of Canucks fans perfectly, as Dan and Andreas’s well-intentioned plans to follow the trade deadline all day long devolve into discussions of obscure, fish-based super powers, Wyshynski’s pants, imaginary Mario Kart games, and impromptu, improvised songwriting. It’s about ten times more entertaining than the actual trade deadline.

New Van Fan is a web-series that follows the adventures of long-time Canucks fan Dan as he attempts to bring novice Canucks fan Andreas up to speed. The whole thing may or may not be an excuse to point out the inherent silliness of this fanbase — we’re not quite sure. Have an idea for an episode? Suggest it in the comments.

Andreas has come a long way in his Canucks fandom over the last month or so. In fact, with his innovations like the Snepsts Day and the Alain Vigneault Gum Game, it’s easy to forget that he’s a complete newbie. This episode, then, is a good reminder, as Dan gives Andreas a more complete introduction to the Sedin twins and their wizardry and Andreas discovers for the first time that they, like him, have red hair.

Enjoy episode eight of New Van Fan, where we discover that when it comes to the Sedins, magic isn’t just on the ice — it’s also in the air.

The Canucks and Blackhawks have had one of the most heated rivalries in the NHL over the last 4 seasons. Three consecutive meetings in the playoffs tends to have that effect. So it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense that the Canucks have their AHL farm team in Chicago. It would be like if one of the Canucks’ biggest historic rivals had their AHL farm team in the Fraser Valley.

So when the Chicago Wolves, Vancouver’s farm team, meets the Rockford IceHogs, Chicago’s farm team, there is always a little confusion. Maybe that’s why, instead of having a bench-clearing brawl, like normal people, they had a bench-unclearing brawl.

This brawl was more than a little crazy, so here are the 9 craziest things that happened:

Things may not have gone as well as the Canucks had hoped it would when they dusted off and donned the Millionaires apparel on Saturday versus the Detroit (although the game was an accurate representation of what would happen if a Vancouver team from 100 years ago played the 2013 Red Wings), but that doesn’t mean the evening wasn’t without highlights.

The uniforms looked fantastic, for one. Say what you will about khaki-coloured hockey pants — I thought they were awesome.

For another, the evening yielded the fifth Johnny Canuck video from Adam Mackay-Smith, the second half of the two-part “Legend of Johnny Canuck” series. And, as we’ve come to expect from the local filmmaker, it was absolutely fantastic. Since it debuted in the arena during the game, and by the time it hit Youtube at game’s end, you may have wanted to expunge the thought of the Canucks-as-Millionaires from your mind forever, there’s a good possibility you haven’t seen it yet. Let’s remedy that immediately:

New Van Fan is a web-series that follows the adventures of long-time Canucks fan Dan as he attempts to bring novice Canucks fan Andreas up to speed. The whole thing may or may not be an excuse to point out the inherent silliness of this fanbase — we’re not quite sure. Have an idea for an episode? Suggest it in the comments.

New Van Fan is a web-series that follows the adventures of long-time Canucks fan Dan as he attempts to bring novice Canucks fan Andreas up to speed. The whole thing may or may not be an excuse to point out the inherent silliness of this fanbase — we’re not quite sure. Have an idea for an episode? Suggest it in the comments.

New Van Fan is a web-series that follows the adventures of long-time Canucks fan Dan as he attempts to bring novice Canucks fan Andreas up to speed. The whole thing may or may not be an excuse to point out the inherent silliness of this fanbase — we’re not quite sure. Have an idea for an episode? Suggest it in the comments.

Manny Malhotra caused quite the kerfuffle when he skated with the Canucks at Wednesday’s practice. With Ryan Kesler out with a broken foot and Aaron Volpatti on waivers, Malhotra skated on a regular line for drills, leading some to jump to the erroneous conclusion that he might be returning.

Let’s face it: as much as it would be nice to have Malhotra back in the Canucks’ lineup, it would be a clustercuss of unimaginable proportions. It already looked suspicious to have Mike Gillis announce that Malhotra was done for the season just as Kesler was cleared to play; to have Malhotra return as soon as Kesler is out of the lineup again would be a PR nightmare for Gillis and the team. It would put to lie everything that Gillis said about why he made the decision he did and turn it from concern for a player’s long-term health to a cold-hearted and calculated business decision.

According to Dan Murphy, the Canucks have shown Malhotra video of incidents where they felt he was at a higher risk of injury in an effort to convince him of the danger to his long-term health. Murphy specifically indicated one particular incident, where “if Dany Heatley was Cal Clutterbuck, Malhotra could have been in trouble.”

So, I decided to track down this near-miss to see it for myself. How bad was it, or rather, how bad could it have been?

New Van Fan is a web-series that follows the adventures of long-time Canucks fan Dan as he attempts to bring novice Canucks fan Andreas up to speed. The whole thing may or may not be an excuse to point out the inherent silliness of this fanbase — we’re not quite sure. Have an idea for an episode? Suggest it in the comments.

Zack Kassian is a surprisingly soft-spoken guy off the ice. In an interview setting, he’s low-key and fairly reserved. He can be that way on the ice sometimes, which likely contributes to his streakiness. It’s likely that motivation rather than skill will be his major limitation early in his career and it will be Vigneault’s challenge to figure out what motivates him.

Different players require different types of motivation, something Vigneault has spoken about in the past. “I think part of coaching is getting the most you can out of the personnel,” he said in a Q and A with the Vancouver Board of Trade in early 2011, “and that’s getting to know your personnel both on and off the ice and how to handle individuals. You can’t treat everybody the same way but you can treat them fairly. Some guys need to be handled with a little bit of cuddling sometimes and some have to be harped on sometimes. That’s what they want.”

I have a suspicion that cuddling is not the best way to motivate Kassian. Instead, Kassian seems to need something to get him emotionally involved. On Thursday night, Antoine Roussel of the Dallas Stars figured out exactly what gets Kassian motivated: royally piss him off.

Henrik Sedin has two goals this season, and neither are a result of the Canucks’ Captain making the choice to shoot. In both instances, Alex Burrows has made the choice for him with late, unexpected return passes that leave Henrik with no room and no choice but to do anything other than put the puck towards the goal.

This is the rub when it comes to the Sedins, and Henrik especially: sometimes you have to force the issue. Henrik Sedin has led the NHL in assists for three years in a row. He’s a pure passer; passing is his jam. If he were on the Price is Right Showcase Showdown, he’d pass twice.

We saw yet another example of Henrik’s pass-first mentality Thursday night when he spearheaded a full, two-minute session of keepaway in Dallas. When the Stars went down a man one second before the two-minute mark, it became apparent to Henrik that, in order to nurse the Canucks’ one-goal lead home, all he and his teammates had to do was maintain possession for 120 seconds. No shooting. All passing. Here’s Henrik living the dream, as the Canucks’ powerplay trolls the Dallas Stars.

Nine days ago, we introduced you to “New Van Fan”, a web series in which Canuck booster “Dan” attempted to teach his buddy “Andreas” the ins and outs of cheering for Vancouver’s local hockey team.

But secretly, this show isn’t just for the noob. The first episode featured valuable advice even for the long-time Canucks booster. “Don’t panic,” Dan told Andreas. “You’re going to want to panic. Don’t panic.” It’s true. Keeping an even keel is difficult for anybody rooting for the boys in blue and green. Canucks fandom throws keels askew. It’s an irregular keel you’re looking for, cheer for this team.

Anyway. Since then, we watched episode one, Dan and Andreas have already starred in episodes two and three. This show is being burned through like the last episodes of an NBC sitcom the network no longer likes. So let’s catch up.

The reaction to Jannik Hansen’s hit on Marian Hossa was immediately polarized. Reactions ranged from outrage and demands for 8-15 game suspensions to incredulousness that a penalty was even called on the play. We fell somewhere in the middle: it looked unintentional, but was still careless and resulted in a hit to the head.

Harrison theorized that Hansen would get a one-game suspension due to the recklessness of Hansen’s action and Hossa’s injury history, even though it was essentially an accident.

Brendan Shanahan only half-agreed. Hansen did get suspended one-game, but in the video on the suspension, Shanahan appeared to think the hit was worth far more than that, making his decision completely baffling.

Sometimes when there’s a lot to talk about in the world of Canucks hockey, our employers at the Vancouver Sun will send the in-house video team outside to get some fan insight on the chatter of the day, and considering the inflammatory events of the Canucks’ home opener, Sunday night was one such time. Sun videographer Mark Yuen — director of viral sensation “Call the Union” — was dispatched to Rogers Arena to capture fan sentiment regarding the Canucks’ goaltending controversy.

But instead, Yuen captured something a little more unique. During an interview with a Canucks fan in an orange tuque, a family of three passed by. The interview was interrupted when the father, who was pushing a stroller with a kid in it and obviously didn’t have his eyes on the road, walked the stroller directly into a lamppost.

In the lead-up to Saturday’s opening night tilt with the Anaheim Ducks, the Canucks announced a number of fan outreach initiatives aimed at, hopefully, making fans feel a little less uneasy about returning to the loving arms of a league that just punched them in the gonads. There would be cheap food, 50% off merchandise, and a patronizing new video, but chief amongst these initiatives was the special opportunity for a season-ticket holder to drop the puck for the ceremonial faceoffs.

That season-ticket holder was selected and informed Friday. His name: Dr. Jeffrey Bell. And for an extra-special treat, the Canucks enlisted Ryan Kesler to tell the doctor. The phone call that was filmed for Canucks.com, and thank goodness they did that, because otherwise they wouldn’t have been able to prove that Kesler somehow managed to call during a pelvic exam:

Two weeks ago, Dale Weise became the first (and, to date, only) Canuck to go overseas during the lockout, joining, of all teams, the Destily Trappers in Tilburg, Netherlands. The Trappers play in the Eredivisie, otherwise known as the Dutch hockey league, which Weise, along with many of us, only became aware of when they offered him a contract. After Googling it — and perhaps forgetting to specify “ice” hockey and coming across photos of the gold medal-winning Dutch field hockey team — the Canucks’ fourth liner couldn’t say no.

Okay, considering he brought his girlfriend along, he probably didn’t do it for the women. More than likely, it was the opportunity to be a star on par with Joe Simons. It’s hard to blame him for wanting to play as a big-minute skill guy for a little while, especially after a season in which the Canucks made it clear he’d be plying his trade in the NHL primarily as a fourth-line ruffian.

Look at him up there, ogling his number 88 jersey. Dale Weise is the Eric Lindros of Holland.

Weise got off to a hot start in Tilburg, scoring 34 seconds into his first shift. You can watch that goal as part of this video feature he did with Dutch media outlet NOS, who followed him on his first game day from his apartment to the Stappegoor IJssportcentrum Tilburg where the Trappers play.

We’re big fans of Canuck fan pump-up videos here at Pass it to Bulis, but we’re especially big fans of pump-up videos that sprinkle in an extra dose of creativity. Here’s one that sort of does. Now, I mean, it’s no “Bieksa Real Good” (still the gold standard for Canuck fan video what-the-heckery — please [...]