Here’s a photo of Jannik Hansen from the Canucks’ first-round series with the Kings. I’m not entirely sure what’s going on in it. It looks like, maybe, Hansen collided with Rob Scuderi along the boards and the two went down.

But it also sort of looks like Hansen convinced Scuderi to let himself be used as a beanbag chair. The LA defender’s nickname is “The Piece”. Maybe that’s only half of it, and the second half is “Of rumpus room furniture”?

Earlier this season, Chris Higgins missed time with a mysterious infection of some sort, and we at PITB immediately screamed “Zombie bite.” Of course, no one takes our opinions seriously (which is probably a good thing), so our suggestion was ignored.

But then the infection struck again, and Higgins missed even more time. A highly-resist strain of infection? Definitely zombiism, which isn’t just highly-resistant, it’s potentially virulent.

And yet still, we were ignored. Eventually, Higgins was brought back to health with antibiotics and rest and returned to the lineup, where we have secretly feared that he would pass the infection onto his teammates ever since. And, judging from this photo from the Canucks’ tilt with the Phoenix Coyotes, it would appear that our concerns were justified. I’m not sure how this isn’t a bigger story, but on Wednesday night, Chris Tanev and Sami Salo ate an official.

The other day, someone brought a sign to the Canucks game that said “Edler get in my Bed-ler”. It was creepy, and it got me to thinking that it’s about time someone compiled a post of the worst and most suggestive pieces of posterboard Canuck fans have brought to Rogers Arena. So I set out to do just that, combing through image galleries for uncomfortable signage.

Along the way, I came across this sign from a playoff game between the Vancouver Canucks and the Chicago Blackhawks at the United Center. It won’t make it into the eventual post of suggestive signs, of course, because it’s not suggestive. It is, however, hilariously vague.

Photographers take photos, but the best photographers tell stories. In sports photography, if you want your photos to be used, you’ll take shots that complement the stories already being told. The Canucks are slumping? Take photos of the team looking down. Roberto Luongo’s struggling? Take photos of the man on his belly — there will be numerous opportunities. Cody Hodgson’s centering fourth line while Mason Raymond’s getting sexy top-six icetime despite far less production?

Take a photo of Raymond and Hodgson on either side of the Sedins, with Raymond watching the results of a shift with the Sedins on the Jumbotron while Hodgson stares straight ahead, clearly miserable.

The Sedins had a pretty eventful offseason. It started with a riot. Then, a week later, they flew to Las Vegas, where Daniel Sedin was awarded both the Ted Lindsay and Art Ross trophies. In Sweden, they did some serious inline skating. And in July, they flew to the Swedish island of Öland, where they were awarded the Victoriastipendiet — effectively, the Swedish athlete of the Year award. Daniel and Henrik were the first hockey players to win the award since Peter Forsberg in 1994, and only the third since the award debuted in 1979. Elite company.

While the Sedins were in Öland, the identical twins were asked by Östran, a local newspaper, to take part in a strange experiment: draw self-portraits, in order to see if those would be identical too. I can’t believe I only found this now, but here are the results.

Last postseason, Kevin Bieksa caught flack for dropping the gloves with San Jose Sharks’ forward Patrick Marleau. Sure, Marleau initiated the fight in an ill-advised attempt to showcase his toughness and recently-questioned guts, but the mismatch was so evident that Bieksa was criticized just for acquiescing the request.

In retrospect, it was even more of a mismatch than we thought. As it turns out, Bieksa doesn’t even need to throw punches to knock Marleau off his feet. He can do it with little more than a mighty exhalation.

I’m not entirely sure what to make of this picture of Chris Higgins. At first glance, it’s just a normal shot of a guy, maybe at the end of the shift, maybe just waiting for puck to drop. But on a closer examination, it becomes difficult to determine just what emotion he’s wearing on his face. It could be anything. Hunger? Thirst? Ennui? Disappointment? Jealousy? Zombiism? One simply cannot know.

But I must. And thus, I decided to splice Higgins into a handful of images, just to see if, perhaps, I could find one well-suited to his vacant stare. What follows are my best guesses.

If you’re a female, chances are you’ve seen Dirty Dancing. Heck, if you’re a male that’s ever been in a relationship you wanted to maintain (or consummate), you’ve probably seen it too. That in mind, it stands to reason that both Kevin Bieksa and Jordin Tootoo have seen Dirty Dancing.

If you need more proof than that, I present the odd little photo above, in which the aforementioned pair awkwardly recreate the film’s iconic lift from the final dance number.

Thursday night’s 6-5 Canuck loss versus the Nashville Predators was jam-packed with oddities. There was the offensive outburst, as the two teams combined for 11 goals, only three fewer than their entire season series last year. There was the goalie no-show, as Cory Schneider’s hot streak came to a screeching halt with 3 goals on 5 shots and Roberto Luongo only fared marginally better. And, of course, there was that strange little moment when Ryan Kesler scaled the net.

Some of you may remember the photo of Cory Schneider that we turned into three galleries worth of the backup netminder playing every stringed instrument under the sun with the gusto of Andrew Bird. Not simply content to splice guitars into his hands, we shopped in lutes, dulcimers, keytars, and a giant submarine sandwich. It was really stupid.

That said, it’s also the bread and butter of PITB. If we see a photo in which a guy looks like he’s playing an invisible guitar or relaxing on an invisible couch, well, we’re gonna chop the missing item in. It’s with that ethos in mind that we present this Ryan Kesler photo.

Dale Weise appears to have found a home in Vancouver. Claimed off waivers after struggling to crack the New York Rangers’ lineup for nearly half a decade, he’s become a major part of a revamped Canucks’ fourth line that’s getting icetime and contributing in a way we’re simply not used to in Vancouver. The gritty winger looks comfortable.

Case in point: this photo, in which Weise appears to be having a lie-down on an invisible couch. Comfortable, yes, but this is too comfortable. Regardless of how settled you might feel, Dale Weise, it is unacceptable to lounge on unseen living room furniture during shifts.

We spoke earlier today about the Snack Goal principle, our explanation for that curiously frequent occurrence where the Canucks lose their shutout bid within the final ten minutes of games, and we made sure to point out that it wasn’t a Luongo-only phenomenon: Cory Schneider’s in on it too. Of course, that’s the only time during any game when Cory Schneider’s even remotely forgiving of shots in his direction. Try to score on him any other time, and he will kill you.

Canuck fans got a taste of Dan Hamhuis’s skillset last season, as he smoothly transitioned into the team’s top defense pairing, providing a steadying presence for Kevin Bieksa and, with him, establishing one of the league’s most effective shutdown duos.

But have we seen all Dan Hamhuis has to offer? No, and I’m not talking about the promising offensive flourishes he’s shown through two games this season. I’m talking about the karate.

Well, there you have it. It’s Ryan Kesler in the buff. Feast your eyes, you vultures (or gouge them out, whatever you’re into). Seems to me the “I Find This Photo Odd” tag was made for moments such as this. I’m gonna go ahead and add “Ryan Kesler has a mole on his left outer thigh” to the list of things that I wish I did not know.

Here’s an excellent photo by Bruce Bennett of Getty Images in which he captures every player from both the Atlanta Thrashers and Vancouver Canucks’ benches watching the action at the far end of the ice.

Everyone, that is, except for Mason Raymond, who, with this photo, destroys any chance he had of ever being hired as a film extra.

Did you know that Sami Salo eats gloves? Yeah. He totally does. It’s a nerves thing. Don’t believe me? I have proof. Here’s a photo of Sami Salo in which, if I’m reading his facial expression correctly, he finds his gloves tantalizingly delicious-looking. They call to him. “Put me in your belly,” they say, and he is powerless to resist their call. I heard that, sometimes, at Christmas parties, Sami Salo steals into the coatroom, and when he comes back, there are bits of yarn in his teeth.

I’m not really sure there’s any other explanation for this photo, which I find exceedingly odd. Unless, maybe, he thinks his gloves are fondant-lidded sprinkle-sided vanilla lemon cakes? That’s a common mistake, right?

This is an odd photo. I especially like the way the referee is signaling a crosschecking penalty when he should clearly be calling the police. But there’s more to laugh about here. Consider Campbell’s concern (Dude, you killed him). Consider the feigned innocence in Keith’s stance, or the way he looks back, dumbly, groping for some explanation for the dead guy at his feet. (Um, I found him this way… he fell…)

Here’s a photo of Alex Ovechkin dressed as a throw rug, via our good friends at Houses of the Hockey. Apparently, it was taken during a surprise appearance made by the Russian superstar during halftime of a Russian Premier League soccer match, at which he was presented with a traditional Dagestani burka (the stylish torso covering) and papakha (the Chaka Khan-looking hat). It’s a little less odd once you know the context (as most things are), but it remains odd nonetheless, especially since it bears a striking resemblance to the iconic album cover for Funkadelic’s classic Maggot Brain (home of the best guitar solo of all time).

After his spotty performance last night, much is being made today of Roberto Luongo’s mental fortitude. This time, unlike other times, it’s not entirely unfair. Pulled for the second time in the Stanley Cup Final after allowing three goals in under five minutes in a crucial first period of Game 6, the Vancouver netminder is getting shredded coast to coast.

But enough about Luongo. On the topic of fortitude and shredding, this photo of Cory Schneider from last night’s game is the epitome of both. Pressed into relief duty, the Bostonian backup apparently took the opportunity to act out his lifelong fantasy of playing the entirety of Funkadelic’s Maggot Brain (greatest guitar solo ever) before a sold out TD Garden crowd.

Today in “I Find This Photo Odd”: you thought Zdeno Chara drinking a Coke on the bench was a strange sight? Well, he’s got nothing on Nicklas Lidstrom.

This photo was taken after Ryan Suter’s game-tying goal in game two. At first glance, it’s fairly innocuous — just two guys, celebrating a goal, no big deal, right? Wrong. THERE IS A SEVERED GHOST ARM IN THIS PHOTO.

This photo kind of reminds me of that classic final scene in Quentin Tarantino’s Death Proof, where Abernathy, Kim, and Lee take turns punching and kicking Stuntman Mike to death. Part of me wonders if, say, we’d get this exact same photo if Luongo had let Patrick Sharp score on the powerplay.

Some of you might remember the “What’s Up There” photo that we found odd earlier this week. In it, we posited that, taking into account the various awestruck looks of the up-looking Canucks, they couldn’t possibly just be looking at the puck — it had to be something much more remarkable.

We received a few reader submissions that made me chuckle, and I wanted to share them with you, especially after last night’s retread of the Voldemort game, which is causing numerous pool-flippings in the Lower Mainland today.

If you didn’t already know that this photo is from the dying seconds of Friday’s game with the Chicago Blackhawks, you’d be left intrigued by what, exactly, is up there. In fact, I look forward to two or three years down the road when someone comes across this image in a Google Images search and wonders if maybe something with wings had somehow gotten into the building and was doing barrel rolls in the rafters. A bat? A robin? Batman and Robin? Really, the possibilities are endless if you don’t already know that it’s just the boring old puck.

Mason Raymond and Ryan Kesler are such good buds–true besties–that they regularly engage in intense tickle fights, even at extremely inopportune times. Case in point: this photo was taken while the Canucks were trying to kill a penalty. If Dan “Community Man” Hamhuis wasn’t such a good guy, he might have given them a piece [...]