Canucks sign right-handed defenceman named Weber; unfortunately, it’s Yannick

Quiet all morning, the Vancouver Canucks have finally arrived at the free agent frenzy, and they’ve announced their presence in style. With their first (and, to date, best) signing of the day, the Canucks have acquired defenceman Yannick Weber.

Like the other, better Weber, Yannick is a right-handed defenceman. Unlike the other, better Weber, uh, everything else.

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Highly-anticipated first weekend of roster moves results in… Cam Barker and Jim Vandermeer

After one final day of legal dithering, the NHL finally got around to finalizing their new CBA late Friday night, and at midnight on the East coast, the rosters were unfrozen. Hockey fans had been waiting for this moment for four months, but it was finally here. Considering GMs had had 119 days to chat with one another informally and only a week to improve their roster before opening night, a flurry of moves was expected over the weekend. Many braced themselves for a sexy and exciting time.

I mean, heck, considering everything we’d heard about Roberto Luongo — the silly season that the entire last week had been and all the rumours that a deal was forthcoming the instant deals were allowed to be forthcoming — would he even remain a Canuck for one night? Most thought he’d be somewhere else by the time they woke up and, unwilling to miss it, refused to go to bed.

Unfortunately, instead of shocking moves calling for snap analysis, Canuck fans got Jim Vandermeer, LVP of the Bieksa’s Buddies charity game, and Cam “Franklin” Barker.

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The Vancouver Canucks, along with everyone else, offer a contract to Shane Doan

Shane Doan is a consistent 20+ goalscorer.

Shane Doan hasn’t scored fewer than 50 points in a season since 1999.

Shane Doan had 205 hits last season.

Shane Doan is the top unrestricted free agent remaining on the market, as long as you ignore Alexander Semin.

Shane Doan has played for the same franchise for his entire 17-year career.

Pretty much everyone in the NHL wants Shane Doan on their team and everyone knows it.

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