The nine craziest things from the in-bench brawl between Chicago Wolves and Rockford IceHogs [VIDEO]

The Canucks and Blackhawks have had one of the most heated rivalries in the NHL over the last 4 seasons. Three consecutive meetings in the playoffs tends to have that effect. So it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense that the Canucks have their AHL farm team in Chicago. It would be like if one of the Canucks’ biggest historic rivals had their AHL farm team in the Fraser Valley.

So when the Chicago Wolves, Vancouver’s farm team, meets the Rockford IceHogs, Chicago’s farm team, there is always a little confusion. Maybe that’s why, instead of having a bench-clearing brawl, like normal people, they had a bench-unclearing brawl.

This brawl was more than a little crazy, so here are the 9 craziest things that happened:

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Country fight: Canucks fan Chad Brownlee responds to Oilers fan Brett Kissel’s apology song

Here’s the very true story of how Chad Brownlee, former Vancouver Canucks draft pick, became a country artist: shortly after being selected 190th overall by the Canucks in 2003, Brownlee suffered shoulder injury after shoulder injury. Eventually, it became clear that he wouldn’t be able to help the Canucks on the ice, so he went to the Canucks and he said, “My shoulders aren’t so good. What can I do instead of playing hockey to represent the greatest team in the world?”

And they asked Brownlee if he had any special talents, and he said he played guitar, sang a little country now and then, and was handsome. And that’s when the two sides hatched an idea.

“Far too many Canadian country stars are from Alberta, the cowboy province,” the Canucks said. “They hate us over there and they mock us through song. What we need is a Vancouver-based country singer to take up musical arms in our defence, to rail against the sickeningly anti-Canuck bias in Canadian country music.”

“I will be your country warrior,” said Brownlee. And thus, he set out to establish himself as a country artist, all the while remaining vigilant for any instance of anti-Canuck rhetoric stemming from those dastardly Albertan dastards. Finally, this week, his true purpose came to light when country artist and Oilers fan Brett Kissel wrote disparaging things about the Canucks on Facebook then wrote a super-offensive half-hearted apology song set to the tune of Alan Jackson’s “She’s Gone Country”:

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Girlfriends of Cory Schneider and Milan Lucic engage in the most confusing turf war ever

We’ve seen some bizarre battle combinations in the ongoing rivalry between the Vancouver Canucks and the Boston Bruins. Brad Marchand versus Sami Salo. PITB versus Touch & Wilbur. Shawn Thornton versus 88 guys, Kill Bill-style, followed by a round with end boss Tony Gallagher. But now, it would appear, that we have another unlikely dispute: Cory Schneider’s girlfriend versus Milan Lucic’s girlfriend.

According to Lucic’s girlfriend, Brittany, Schneider’s girlfriend told her off at a recent game just for wearing her Bruins hat. This tell-off even included the taunt of English archers. How do we know? Because Brittany took to her Twitter account to voice her disapproval.

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The Canucks are much fightier than last year: Top 5 fights of the season

A weird thing happened over the weekend: Don Cherry, that great defender of toughness in hockey, actually called the Canucks tough. I’m not joking. It actually happened.

The main (and only) reason that this is significant is that Cherry is the king of the surface-level observation. He seems to look at something once, get an impression, and immediately have a take. If Cherry’s first impression is that the Canucks are a tougher team and that “Boston’s not going to push them around any more” that is a positive for the Canucks, because that means that other teams are getting that same impression. If “toughness” and “Canucks” can be put together in people’s minds more often, that can only benefit the team.

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Yesterday, we broke down a Province news editorial that espoused a trade sending Roberto Luongo to the Tampa Bay Lighting for Vincent Lecavalier.

It was an odd thing, this unexpected newspaper-endorsed trade proposal, and not just because a paper’s editorial board doesn’t usually weigh in on rosters like they were playing “Fantasy GM mode” in NHL 12: it was also just a bad trade. Either the editorial board’s hockey knowledge is scant, Mike Milbury is on said board, or both. One assumes that, if the Province were an Ottawa-based newspaper, they would have espoused keeping Redden over Chara, too.

Needless to say, we didn’t like it.

It turns out we weren’t alone, however, as Mike Gillis unexpectedly called in to the Team 1040 Friday afternoon like he was freaking Troy from White Rock in order to express his dislike for the piece.

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