David Booth kills the Forest Spirit, and other creatures of myth

By now, it should be perfectly clear that David Booth doesn’t care what you think. Well, he sort of does. I mean, the other day, he sullenly tweeted, “Every time I tweet I lose followers”, but when several responses explaining the phenomenon came back to him — stop tweeting photos of things you done killed, bro — he chose not to change his spots, like a leopard (and then he probably killed a leopard).

On Thursday, Booth successfully ended the life of yet another beast and saw fit to share it with his squeamish audience. That’s what you’re looking at above.

But what the heck is what you’re looking at? As Roberto Luongo tweeted in response, “Ok NOW you are just making up animals no?” Is that a goat of some kind? A four-legged Appalachian Fearsquatch, as Justin Bourne suggested? The Forest Spirit from Princess Mononoke?

The species of the dead thing above may be unclear, but one thing does seem clear: with so much time on his hands, David Booth has grown weary of hunting things that exist and crossed over in the realms of lore. “There’s only one trophy in the world harder to get than this… And I’m getting that next,” said Booth, ominously. Lock up your fictional characters, people, because David Booth will be trying to kill them for as long as the lockout endures. What follows is a preview of what we can expect Booth to tweet in the months to come:

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David Booth is still tweeting photos of animals he killed

Some time ago, David Booth killed a bear. You probably remember.

It’s funny. Canuck fans had known since the day he arrived that Booth was an avid blueberry preservationist/hunter. No one batted an eye. Heck, when he announced he was embarking on a bear-hunting expedition, tweeting that he was in Alberta “hunting Bruins”, we chuckled. But then he tweeted a photo of the dead bear, followed closely by a documentary on how the bear became dead, and suddenly, the fact that he had, like, killed a bear became real.

Totally legal, not that uncommon. But it was just too much proof, especially for those of us who aren’t so into hunting and try to keep our timeline twitpic-of-dead-animal-free. The backlash was intense, and one got the impression Booth would think twice before sharing another shot of something he shot.

Nope.

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Finally, the footage of David Booth killing that black bear that you’ve all been waiting for

Hey, remember that black bear that David Booth horrified everyone by killing two weeks ago? I have some good news and some bad news about that. The good news is that we now have footage of the bear walking around, doing just fine, tipping over a steel drum — you know, typical happy, unshot bear stuff. The bad news is that the bear is only like that for the first half of the video. Then David Booth shoots him in the gut with an arrow. Yikes.

The latest episode in the ongoing saga of David Booth vs. nature comes to us the same way as all the other episodes, via David Booth’s Twitter account. On Saturday afternoon, he tweeted a video of the kill with the following disclaimer: You have every right not to watch just like i have the right to choose to hunt.

Please keep that in mind before you click play. This ain’t no Charmin Ultra Soft commercial.

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Yesterday, as David Booth was surrounded by a massive horde of hockey writers cramming cameras and microphones into his face like grandmas with spoons full of pudding, Canucks’ coach Alain Vigneault walked past and said with a chuckle, “Welcome to Vancouver.”

Yes, things are a little different here. While I won’t go as far as to say that no one cares about hockey in Florida — although, when an infomercial outrates your live game telecasts, um, the point sort of makes itself — it’s safe to say that the editorial board of the Miami Herald isn’t suggesting roster moves. No, that only happens here.

Pretty much everything David Booth does now is a story, and if there’s a way to turn it into a controversy, you’d better believe somebody’s on it. For instance, had Booth chosen to sit out Tuesday morning’s optional game day skate on the morning of his debut — a reasonable option, since it was optional, and he’s probably exhausted — it would have been a story.

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