One wonders if the Department of Player Safety realizes that Duncan Keith’s decision to waive his right to an in-person hearing did not also negate their right to suspend him for more than 5 games. They know that, right?

You’ll forgive me if I don’t have the utmost confidence in the Shanavengers. When a blatant elbow to the face receives only a middling suspension, it’s clear that the NHL’s crusade to crack down on headshots deserves to be taking as seriously as, well, the Crusades.

After a two-day deliberation, Duncan Keith has been suspended for 5 Shana-games. (The NHL’s equivalent of Disney Dollars. They’re like NHL regular-season games, but worthless.) Let’s let Shanahan take us through it:

After a long streak of sub-par play from the Canucks, all the talk leading into this game was regarding whether they would wake up for a meeting with their hated rivals, the Chicago Blackhawks. That likely won’t be discussed as much after this game, where the Canucks put forward a hard-working, physical effort and played with a passion and emotion that hasn’t been seen in some time.

Unfortunately, one of the causes of that emotion was an ugly, ugly elbow by Duncan Keith that knocked Daniel Sedin out of the game. The result: a massive outpouring of concern and vitriol from Canucks fans, an entertaining game on the ice, and a certain suspension for Keith. I watched this game.

For only the third time this season, the Canucks played an entire sixty-minute game without being given a powerplay but, incredibly, it was the second consecutive time this phenomenon has occurred versus the Chicago Blackhawks. What’s more, this game was called by Ian Walsh, who called the last powerplay-free affair. Is this evidence of some kind of conspiracy?

No. Uncanny though the circumstances may be, there’s no agenda here. The Blackhawks simply played a fabulously disciplined game. Furthermore, while the Canucks may have played an entire sixty-minute game without being given a powerplay, they hardly played a sixty-minute game. You draw penalties by outworking the other team, and frankly, only Cory Schneider seemed interested in doing that for much of this game. So why didn’t he draw any penalties? Well, he was a little busy. So was I. I watched this game.

When Chicago Blackhawks’ defensive ace Dave Bolland referred to the Sedins with the hackneyed “Sisters” moniker this week, he set off a new wave of feeble trash-talk between the Vancouver and the original six club, who are something of a perpetual thorn in the Canucks side.

It was the latest chapter in an increasingly heated rivalry, not just between the two teams, but on an individual level between the Sedin brothers and Dave Bolland as well.

Every protagonist must have a foil, and the Sedins’ foil is undoubtedly Bolland. He’s the Rommel to their Patton, the Prince Joffrey to their Rob Stark. If you listen to Blackhawks fans (which, for the record, I don’t recommend doing), they’ll tell you a tale of how Dave Bolland “has the Sedins’ number” and how the twins “just can’t figure him out.”

Many in the media will probably tell you the same thing.

I always assumed that NHL General Manager meetings were like Interfraternity conferences, where all the men tell their wives they’re going to be in dry seminars all day and then rent out the top floor of a hotel and party the weekend away. But, it would appear that things actually get done at these meetings: yesterday, the NHL GMs approved a drastic divisional realignment that would dissolve the 6 current divisions in favour of 4 more geographically appropriate groupings.

Needless to say, this completely changes the landscape of both the NHL regular season and playoffs. It’s kind of a big deal. But what does this mean for the Canucks and their fans? Like the Provincial Convention of Professional Conmen*, there are plenty of pros and cons.

We will defend the Sedins against the common accusation that they’re girlymen any day of the week. They’re not soft. That said, this doesn’t mean they don’t occasionally take a hilariously unmasculine photo. Case in point: this pic of Daniel Sedin, bristling at some unwanted attention by the Chicago Blackhawks. One assumes that, if this picture also captured sound, you’d be able to hear Daniel intoning “Doooooooon’t” or “Quiiiiit iiiiiiiit”.

But, while this photo doesn’t exactly make Daniel look tough, anyone that’s observed the way the Chicago Blackhawks play against him knows for a fact that he can take a beating like no other. While Patrick Kane can’t handle a few slashes without complaining about it, Daniel Sedin regularly takes a high-sticking and keeps on ticking, especially when it comes to tilts with the Hawks. They’ve been beating up on him for years. Consider the following five photos.

This one started out promisingly, like that movie Vanilla Sky, as Chicago and Vancouver came out flying in a high-paced, nearly even first period. It began to come off the rails a little in the middle portion, like that movie Vanilla Sky, as the Canucks took the lead, then immediately surrendered two powerplay goals to finish the frame down by one. And then, like that movie Vanilla Sky, everything went to crap in the end, and the final twenty minutes was so freaking bad you doubted whether any of it was ever any good, even the stuff you initially liked. Vanilla Sky sucks, and I was reminded of it when I watched this game.

For the first time this season, the Canucks’ defence looked calm, composed, and organized in their own end. Is it a coincidence that this was also Aaron Rome’s first game in the lineup? Of course not. Like a book under a wonky table leg, Rome is a steadying influence. Rome did it all tonight, seeing icetime in all situations, and scoring the first powerplay goal of his career. With that goal, Rome is on pace for 67 goals this season. Is it too early to start the Rome for Norris talk? If anything, it’s too late. Norris buzz needs to start in the pre-season. I watched this game.

To those looking for evidence to back up the claim that rivalries are made in the playoffs, look no further than the antagonism between the Canucks and the Blackhawks, who have faced each other in three consecutive postseasons.

No, there’s no love lost between these two organizations.

It’s no surprise. Good and evil have clashed since the dawn of time, and when one team is objectively good, such as the Canucks, and one team is objectively bad, such as the Blackhawks, acrimony is all but guaranteed.

Qris Johnson is the third man in. Just when you thought there were only two writers on PITB, we blindside you with a third writer. It’s like Qris Johnson is Mark Messier and you guys are Mike Modano. Wait, don’t we hate Mark Messier?

In this edition, Qris tackles the Canucks’ rivalry with the Blackhawks and touches on Milan Lucic, prima donnas, and headshots. Yes, headshots. In the summer. It makes sense, I swear.

Yesterday’s big story was the ongoing saga of Christian Ehrhoff, whose rights have become such a hot topic of conversation that Sean Avery recently appeared in a PSA for their support. That said, Ehrhoff isn’t the only coveted UFA blueliner on the market. While Ehrhoff negotiations (with Vancouver, then New York, then Buffalo) dominated yesterday’s hockey news, the Chicago Blackhawks quietly acquired the last days of rugged defender Steve Montador’s contract with the Sabres for the paltry price of a 7th round pick.

Early today, Greg Wyshynski looked at the reasons the Blackhawks made the move, noting both his physicality (he’s mean) and his right-handedness (he’s not left-handed), both qualities Chicago’s back end lacks. But, truthfully, there’s another reason why it makes sense for the Chicago to go after Montador today, rather than try their luck tomorrow: he’d be a fabulous fit on the Canucks and, if he makes it to the open market, there’s a pretty good chance that’s where he’s headed.

I don’t know why teams think they can get away with sacrificing goaltending.  It started in 2004 after Tampa Bay won the Cup and subsequently dealt Khabibulin, only to plummet to the bottom of the standings.

The reactions to the Vancouver Canucks round one victory over the Chicago Blackhawks were many and varied. There were two particular reactions, however, that were such polar opposites that they bear investigating. For every person who cried out “The Canucks have defeated the Stanley Cup Champions!” there was an equally loud voice saying “The Canucks barely managed to beat the 8th seed!” The Blackhawks were simultaneously hailed as one of the best teams in the NHL and derided as a weak team that backed their way into the playoffs on the last day of the regular season.

So which is it? Who are the real Blackhawks? Were the 2010-11 Blackhawks a terrible team with remnants of past greatness still clinging to them or were they a great team that for some reason had a terrible regular season? Should the Canucks feel proud for defeating the Blackhawks or should they feel shame at their narrow escape?

  This graphic below was submitted to us, courtesy of the folks at Metro Vancouver. And it proves what many already knew – that hockey fans will not miss a minute of the action, even when sporting an overflowing bladder. Who knew they tracked such things?

We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of the 2010-11 Chicago Blackhawks. We will be cremating the team, then sprinkling the ashes around the NHL, just like Stan Bowman did after they won the Stanley Cup nine months ago.

The similarities between this game and last February’s Olympic gold medal game are uncanny. The remarkable performances by Ryan Kesler and Jonathan Toews; a star-making showing from the losing goaltender; Roberto Luongo losing the shutout on a goalmouth scramble in the final minutes; an overtime goal coming out of the corner less than ten minutes into the extra frame; the fact that it happened in the same freaking building; the fact that it will go down as of the finest games in the history of Vancouver hockey. This game had everything: it was intense, emotional, terrifying, heart-attack inducing, and then, in the end, immensely satisfying. And I watched this game:

Let us step back from our book-stealing, cheerleader-tossing, muffler-biting, pool-flipping ways for just one moment and take stock of what we just observed: that was an incredibly exciting hockey game. It was a nail-biting, innard-twisting, heart-pounding thrill ride filled with unexpected plot twists. The Canucks, after two complete no-shows, returned to form and played well enough to win the game; unfortunately, due to a couple puckhandling errors, an unfortunate bounce in overtime, and the posts not counting as part of the net, they didn’t. That shouldn’t take away from the sheer entertainment value of the game, nor should it take away from the excellent play of the Canucks. But it does. It takes everything away. In these few hours since the game ended, I can’t shake the feeling that the game sucked and that the Canucks were terrible. Because I’m a reasonable human being, capable of logical deduction, I can convince myself that such is not the case, but the emotions remain. This game was both exhilarating and excruciating. I watched this game.

Chicago fans are calling the Canucks gutless for their unwillingness to fight John Scott. Gutless, perhaps, but smart. If only Viktor Stalberg were so smart.

Many have pointed to last year’s historic comeback by the Philadelphia Flyers (who clawed their way back from 3-0 down versus the Boston Bruins in the Eastern Conference semifinals), as evidence that the Blackhawks could still win this series, that a comeback could still happen.

History aside, if history’s any indication, it’s not very likely.

The Canucks gave up 7 goals against only once this season, in the infamous Voldemort game against Chicago on November 20th. Though “Voldemort” implies that it shall not be named, like Dumbledore, I have never seen any reason to be frightened of talking about it. After all, the Canucks followed up the game by going on an incredible run, winning 17 of their next 21 games. The two games are remarkably similar actually: both games were tied after the first period, the Blackhawks scored four goals in the second period of both games, and Canucks fans collectively flipped the pool after each game. Also, both games were excruciating to watch. I should know: I watched that game and I watched this game.

Jonathan Toews had some interesting things to say after game three, things that I felt were a little odd and inflammatory. He claimed that his team wasn’t “exposing them for what they really are.” I thought the implication was that the Canucks are not as good a team as they might seem, that their Presidents’ Trophy and 3-0 lead in this series are not indicative of what they really are. Some speculated that this was simply a motivation tactic for his own team, but it seemed odd to take potshots at your opposition, potentially giving them bulletin board material.

But then I considered the alternative: what if Jonathan Toews doesn’t think that the Canucks are a bad team, but something far more sinister? He doesn’t want his team to expose the Canucks as a poor hockey club, but for what they really are. This is what Jonathan Toews suspects the Canucks really are:

They don’t. Now that that’s settled, Qris Johnson, like others before him, can speak of many other things.

By now, you’ve probably seen the above clip, featuring Angry Hawks Fan, the furiously exuberant Chicago Blackhawks supporter that celebrates a Ben Smith goal with some sort of tantrum. The intensity of his goal celebration was simply too funny to let go, earning its own video upload from CanucksHD, his own topic at the HF boards, multiple animated gifs, and a spot in the game 2 highlight packages for TSN, CBC, and Sporstsnet.

My favourite line comes from the TSN package. Jay Onrait, after the Ben Smith goal: “That oughta make Blackhawks fans happy! … or very, very angry.” Yeah, angry Hawks Fan’s fitful fit is legend.

So who is this guy? Is he an escaped mental patient, maybe, or a passionate admirer of Ben Stiller’s performance in Mystery Men? Neither, as it turns out. Angry Hawks Fan is actually a soft-spoken native Chicagoan named Matt, in town to catch his team’s road playoff games and visit friends Adam Schwartz and Mike Johnson of the popular poker podcast Two Plus Two. As luck would have it, Adam follows us on Twitter, and was kind enough to put us in contact with Matt for a brief chat. Do enjoy.

“Everyone wants to look at the stats all year and talk about what [the Canucks] do well and how good of a team they are. That’s whats frustrating. We’re not exposing them for what they really are. I think a lot of people outside this locker room are giving them too much credit. Maybe we are as well. We know that we can be a better team and we just haven’t shown it yet.”

Really?

After two consecutive years of being “outcoached” by Joel Quenneville, Alain Vigneault is winning this series with shrewd icetime management. Three days ago, he announced that he planned to limit the Sedins’ shifts to between 30 and 35 seconds, and he caught flack for it (Tony Gallagher said there had never been a dumber idea). Despite criticism, however, he’s followed through since. For the second game in a row, Daniel and Henrik averaged 35-second shifts. In a series where the Blackhawks’ stars are being played to exhaustion, the twins have been able to hop over the boards fresher than the prince of Bel-Air and score timely goals against exhausted opposition. It made the difference two nights ago, and it made the difference again tonight. I watched this game.