You have to feel a little bit for Mike Gillis: while the players were clearing out their lockers and conducting final interviews with the press, Gillis was already back at work. The NHL Entry Draft is this Friday and free agency opens up on July 1st. Before then, Gillis will need to figure out what [...]

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Since 1994, being a Canucks fan has required a commitment to two basic functions: complaining about the fact that Vancouver never wins anything, and reminiscing about that time Vancouver almost won everything. For 17 years, at least, this is who we’ve been. But this is no longer who we are. With Vancouver’s third Stanley Cup Final appearance beginning tonight, our entire identity is currently being rewritten. Whatever happens in the next two weeks, our functions are going to be different.

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Spitballin’ (or Super Pass It To Bulis: All In, if you love adventurous acronymizing) is a feature that allows us to touch on a multitude of things really fast, because in the world of hockey, there are always lots of things to find and colour. Here are a few topics that deserve mention.

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You’d be hard-pressed to find a hockey fan that would claim last night’s bizarre series-clinching goal was not the strangest OT-winner they’d ever seen. The goal, scored by Kevin Bieksa when the puck hit a stanchion and squirted out to him at the point, fooled almost everyone, including every play-by-play guy calling the game (except for John Shorthouse). Chief amongst the players fooled was Antti Niemi, who lost sight of the puck, and didn’t find it again until it was bouncing out of his net and Kevin Bieksa was streaking down the ice a hero.

But Game 5 also saw another hero emerge, and his story is only beginning to be told. Here I refer not to Ryan Kesler, who fought through a leg injury of some sort to tie the game up with thirteen seconds to go, but to the Rogers Arena stanchion that orchestrated BOTH the game-tying and game-winning goals.

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Spitballin’, (or Super Pass It To Bulis: All In, if you love adventurous acronymizing) is a new feature that allows us to touch on a multitude of things really fast, because after a game like last night’s there are lots of things to find and colour. While we covered most of them in the I Watched This Game post, Daniel would have been writing for six more hours if he tried to hit absolutely everything. Here are a few more topics that deserve mention.

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By now, you’ve probably heard of Twitter Needs Juice, PITB’s campaign to get Kevin Bieksa on Twitter. Kevin Bieksa certainly has. On Tuesday afternoon, he took the time to comment on it. Twitter may need Juice, but it would appear that Juice does not need Twitter.

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During the second intermission of game 6 between the Vancouver Canucks and the Nashville Predators, HNIC sportscaster Scott Oake queried Kevin Bieksa as to what would be needed in the third period in order to close out the series. Bieksa, who is awesome, wryly responded, “Shots shots shots shots shots. Shots.”

It was an intentional reference to LMFAO crunk megahit “Shots”, because apparently, Kevin Bieksa is really crunk or something. But, while a handful of viewers at home chuckled at Juice’s response, Oake didn’t seem catch it. Probably understandable. He might be the most uncrunk member of the CBC team (after Kevin Weekes). But what if this experience changed him?

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A week ago, Kevin Bieksa surprised Scott Oake and the CBC broadcasting crew by answering a rather innocuous question about the Canucks’ third period strategy with lyrics from a rap song — LMFAO’s shots, to be exact. Last night, CBC returned to the scene, mashing up Bieksa’s crunk response with the chorus of the song. I especially like the way they synced up the “shots” with Bieksa in spirited acts of pugilism.

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Regular PITB readers (the ones we call Bulies) know that we’ve been following the adventures of adorable ex-Canuck Kyle Wellwood all season. It’s been quite the ride. When we began the Wellwood’s World feature, we expected to update you once a month or so on Wellwood’s stats abroad. Instead, we’ve been blessed with a full fledged international saga — one that’s now come full circle, as Wellwood’s Sharks get set to face off against the hometown Canucks.

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Twitter Needs Juice, plus Kevin Bieksa’s 20 best quotes

Much has been made of the hockey players that have recently hit Twitter, with Shane O’Brien being the latest to join its ranks. Much has also been made of the guys we wish would do the same — the guys noted for their sharp wit and their quotey goodness. If you’re asking me (which you aren’t, but just roll with it), Twitter’s direst need is Kevin Bieksa, one of the league’s top quotes, and undoubtedly the star of the Vancouver Canucks postgame locker room.

But he’s not on Twitter. Frankly, Kevin Bieksa without Twitter is like Mozart without a piano, his prodigious gifts isolated from the very medium for which they were made.

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Chicago fans are calling the Canucks gutless for their unwillingness to fight John Scott. Gutless, perhaps, but smart. If only Viktor Stalberg were so smart.

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If you didn’t already know that this photo is from the dying seconds of Friday’s game with the Chicago Blackhawks, you’d be left intrigued by what, exactly, is up there. In fact, I look forward to two or three years down the road when someone comes across this image in a Google Images search and wonders if maybe something with wings had somehow gotten into the building and was doing barrel rolls in the rafters. A bat? A robin? Batman and Robin? Really, the possibilities are endless if you don’t already know that it’s just the boring old puck.

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PITB is all about classic, old-school, screwball comedy, so you know any time someone takes a gob to the gob, we’re gonna be all over it. Here’s an Aaron Rome postgame interview that comes to an abrupt halt when Kevin Bieksa, Tanner Glass, and Raffi Torres, doing their best Ryan Kesler impressions as they peer from behind the curtain, successfully conspire to smear shaving cream all over Rome’s cheeks. It’s a well-executed prank, probably because Keith Ballard isn’t involved.

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“I’ve never been more excited about hockey, now that I have this beard.” Canucks news comes fast and furious, and sometimes we find ourselves playing catchup. Thankfully, the Dreaded Two Goal Lead–often called “the worst lead in hockey”–is super easy to come back from. Everybody knows it’s a guaranteed death sentence for those that hold [...]

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Canucks news comes fast and furious, and sometimes we find ourselves playing catchup. Thankfully, the Dreaded Two Goal Lead–often called “the worst lead in hockey”–is super easy to come back from. Everybody knows it’s a guaranteed death sentence for those that hold it. Well, much like an ice hockey team coming from two goals down, [...]

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Here’s Kevin Bieksa on After Hours, and it’s definitely a good watch. Bieksa’s a funny guy, and his deadpan delivery never fails to amuse. Things we learn: Bieksa is that guy that never shuts up about his “two young kids at home.” We get it, loser, you love your family. Also, Bieksa claims he was [...]

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If you haven’t seen this fantastic video of Alex Burrows interviewing Kevin Bieksa from ESPN.com, you are missing out. It is remarkably hilarious. Many stick taps and gloved taps on the helmet to Nucks Misconduct.

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Canucks 3 – Flames 4 (SO) It’s a bummer that, for the second time in as many games, the Canucks had to fall in a shootout. That said, I’m hoping that the fans are smart enough to differentiate between the sluggish team that barely managed a point versus San Jose on Thursday night, and tonight’s [...]

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Ask it to Bulis is a regular feature wherein casual readers and hardcore Bulies alike can put their questions to two guys no more qualified to answer than they are. Harrison and Daniel preside: Greatest Canucks’ mustache: Babych or Snepsts? – @staticotakuH: Tough first question. I’m gonna go with Snepsts, and for totally subjective reasons. [...]

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Canucks 4 – 1 Stars The Canucks closed out 2010 the same way they opened it: with a win over the Dallas Stars, but don’t let the 4-1 score fool you into thinking this was just another rout of a good team. Vancouver outscored Dallas, but that’s about the only stat category they won. Thankfully, [...]

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Often lost in the ongoing dispute over Kevin Bieksa’s defensive ability is his extraordinary knack for fisticuffs. Juice (so called because he likes pineapple juice, but also conveniently fits with his predisposition to rage) has had a reputation as a fighter to be avoided since he broke into the NHL by one-punching arrogant and highly-disliked [...]

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