Anti-Fantasy League: Week 19

Things are tight at the top of the Anti-Fantasy standings. It appears that many of you are very talented at picking the worst players, which means if I’m the captain in a pick-up game of road hockey, I want one of you to be the other captain.

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Anti-Fantasy League: Week 18

Look out, holidayblues: invisibleairwaves is coming for you.

If you’ve been following the Anti-Fantasy League posts each week, you will have noticed holidayblues consistently atop the leader board. She has had sole possession of first place since Week 4, excepting Week 9 when Joeducklow managed to tie her briefly before falling back 9 points the following week.

Invisibleairwaves, however, has been gradually gaining ground. A few weeks ago, he was 11 points back. Last week, he was just 5 points behind holidayblues. This week, he’s just one point away from first place.

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Anti-Fantasy League: Week 17

I planned on weekly updates for the Anti-Fantasy League, but life has a funny way of taking your plans and using them as an improvised weapon against you. Even with the minus-4 attack penalty, it can still knock you for a loop.

Suffice it to say, I missed a couple weeks of updates and I apologize. You didn’t miss too much: holidayblues remained in first place the entire time and Emerys is still in last. In between, however, there was plenty of movement. For instance, I am no longer in 91st place; I have made a massive leap up the standings to 81st.

Is it a bad sign when you’re terrible at your own game?

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Anti-Fantasy League: Week 14

For any anti-fantasy owners who picked John Tavares, I have some bad news: the kid has been lighting things up lately. He’s currently on an 8-game point streak, with 15 points in that span. He now has 42 points in 42 games, which means some mice should be along shortly to dissect his brain for the great question of life, the universe, and everything.

The lowest scoring player in his group is his teammate, Michael Grabner, who has just 20 points in the same span. That 22-point game is the third biggest in the anti-fantasy pool, tied with the gap between Eric Staal and Claude Giroux.

The second biggest gap is between Nino Niederreiter, who has just 1 point this season, and Cody Hodgson, whose 6 points in his last 7 games have carried him to the lead in his category with 26 points. If you’re a Canucks fan and you picked Hodgson, you deserve the damage he’s doing to you in the standings.

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Anti-Fantasy League: Week 13

My apologies for the brief holiday break. I know that on Christmas and New Year’s all of you were frantically refreshing PITB to see how poorly your anti-fantasy team was doing.

Well, maybe not.

Even with the extra couple weeks, very few things have changed. Ryan Getzlaf still isn’t scoring. Bruins fans are still whinier than they claim Canucks fans are. And holidayblues is still in first place in the PITB Anti-Fantasy League.

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Anti-Fantasy League: Week 10

One week ago, Evgeni Malkin had 28 points and was one of the better options in his category. Then he proceeded to score 8 points in 3 games, is now fourth in league scoring, and sits right between Steven Stamkos and Daniel Sedin in the “Art Ross Candidates” category. Those hats on the ice in the picture above? Bad news for his anti-fantasy owners.

Meanwhile, Alex Ovechkin still has only 22 points; who expected him to be the number one option in that category?

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Anti-Fantasy League: Week 9

When I put together the boxes for the inaugural PITB Anti-Fantasy Hockey Pool, I limited things to just 15 boxes. This still allowed me to have a wide range of scoring forwards and fourth-line pluggers, puckmovers and pylons, and starting goaltenders and backups. It couldn’t, however, be completely comprehensive and a number of players who didn’t make the cut have had phenomenal seasons, or terrible ones by anti-fantasy standards.

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The best indicator that Alex Ovechkin is struggling is that he is now the best anti-fantasy pick from the “Art Ross Candidates” pool of players. Corey Perry, who long held that distinction, now has 21 points to Ovechkin’s 18. He also now has Ovechkin’s former coach. It’s unclear what impact the coaching changes in Washington and Anaheim will have on these players’ anti-fantasy value, but it’s definitely something to keep an eye on.

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Paul Bissonnette scored a goal! This was fantastic news for Bissonnette’s mother, who was in the crowd watching her son play in the NHL in person for the very first time, but it was terrible news for his anti-fantasy owners, who were hoping he’d last an entire season without a single point.

The only players remaining without a single point are rookies Brayden Schenn and Nino Niederreiter, who have played in 4 and 3 games respectively, enforcers Jared Boll and Cam Janssen, backup goaltender Andrew Raycroft, and stay-at-home defencemen John Scott, Jason Strudwick, and Brian Lee. What’s that? Jason Strudwick retired? Well…that’s good news for a bunch of Bulies.

We have a new person in last place this week: madwag. He has the deadly trio of Anze Kopitar, Claude Giroux, and Thomas Vanek. Those three alone have given him a total of 19 points more than the second best players in their categories. Raj, who spent the first three weeks at the bottom of the standings, is now tied for 95th place with none other than myself.

For the fourth consecutive week, holidayblues holds top spot in the standings. He now has a 7-point lead on second-place Elexis. With this kind of run in first place, it’s worth looking at her team and what players are not getting things done for her.

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Aaron Rome’s 5 point week was great news for Canucks fans, but terrible news for his anti-fantasy owners. The “No Offense D-Man” category was meant to be a guaranteed low score: “no offense” is right in the name. Instead, Aaron Rome has made a huge impact in his return from injury, and while his scoring pace won’t continue at this level, he is going to score a lot more than any of the other players in his category. Harrison outlined a few reasons why this morning, all of which are reasons for his anti-fantasy owners to start sweating. Heck, Rome has more points than Lubomir Visnovsky.

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The Anti-Fantasy updates normally run on Saturday morning, so I apologize for the lateness of this week 4 update. Because of this, the statistics will be up to date as of Sunday at midnight rather than Friday at midnight, so don’t be too alarmed at a massive jump in your total points.

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There were some major changes in the Official PITB Anti-Fantasy League standings this week, as Corey Perry, Ryan Getzlaf, and Patrick Marleau awoke from their slumber, causing a great deal of dismay for their anti-fantasy owners and bumping JDM and Shawn R from their place atop the leaderboard.

Henrik Zetterberg, Michael Grabner, and Dan Boyle are still proving to be great picks, however, with Eric Staal a potential sleeper with only 5 points in 10 games to start the season. Roberto Luongo’s early season struggles have certainly endeared him to his anti-fantasy owners and Tim Connolly still hasn’t tallied a point this season due to injury. Ales Hemsky, as well, will be gone for the next two weeks: welcome news for anti-fantasy owners, if not Oilers fans.

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My apologies for the delay in updating the Official PITB Anti-Fantasy League. My intention was to have it updated every Saturday morning, but my source for statistics didn’t update until well after midnight on Friday and everything happened on Saturday, with the early afternoon game and the Booth larceny trade. So these statistics and standings are up to date as of Saturday at midnight.

The Sedin twins have been producing at a terribly fantastic rate, as have Anze Kopitar, Thomas Vanek, John Tavares, and Jeff Skinner. This is awful news for their anti-fantasy owners. For instance, Daniel Sedin has scored 4 times as many points as the lowest producer in his category, Corey Perry, while Anze Kopitar has 5 times as many points as Henrik Zetterberg.

Some owners are still benefiting from injuries: Tim Connolly and Nino Niederreiter have yet to play a game this season. Of course, neither has Aaron Rome, but since only one player in his category has a point so far, that’s not doing much for his owners.

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With over 100 entries in the first ever Official PITB Anti-Fantasy Hockey Pool, I had to teach myself some spreadsheet tricks to get everything calculating smoothly. Fortunately, I am both a great teacher and a fantastic student, so everything came together nicely.

Anyone who picked players from the Anaheim Ducks got off to a strong start, as Corey Perry, Ryan Getzlaf, Teemu Selanne, and Lubomir Visnovsky all failed to find the scoresheet. The one exception was George Parros, of all people, who tallied an assist on the only goal in a 1-0 victory over the Sharks. He was the only player in the “Gritty Goons” category to score a point.

Unsurprisingly, two of the players in the “Injury Prone Players” category are already injured: Tim Connolly has yet to play a game for the Leafs with an injury “more significant” than was originally thought, while Ales Hemsky left his second game of the season early with an injury and will undergo an MRI.

Other good picks so far include Joe Thornton, Dustin Byfuglien, and *ahem* Roberto Luongo.

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If you’re anything like me, you’re a big fan of fantasy hockey. But the problem with fantasy hockey is that it inevitably leads a hockey fan to disregard a large swathe of the NHL in order to scour for the best and brightest. Thing is, by definition most of the NHL are not the best and brightest. Unless you’re in the world’s deepest fantasy league, you’re never going to pick certain players.

We spend so much time celebrating the success stories in the NHL: now it’s time to celebrate the failures.

That’s why it’s time for the Anti-Fantasy Hockey Pool. In this pool, the entire point is to pick players who you expect to under-perform. Now you have a reason to pick Paul Bissonnette beyond “hilariously” tweeting at him that you totally picked him in the 7th round.

Do you think Dany Heatley is bound to fail in Minnesota? Will Derek Roy spend more time in the doctor’s office than on the ice? Will Al Montoya play a single game in the NHL this year? Is Aaron Rome ever going to score another NHL goal? You can pick them and win.

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