With no Canucks playoff games to watch this spring, Vancouver hockey fans have been left to their own devices, tasked with finding something else to do.
Most just went outside. (The weather’s been pretty nice.) But Ross Langill headed to Chipping Campden, in the Cotswolds of England, to take part in the Cotswold Olimpick Games, and not just any event. Not the tug of war. Not something called dwile flonking. Not piano-smashing. No sir. Langill signed himself up for the main event: the World Shin-Kicking Championships.
Yes, shin-kicking, where two combatants fill their pants with straw, then face each other, lock shoulders, and kick one another in the shins while trying to score takedowns. Langill signed up for this, proving once again that the Venn diagram of Canucks fans and insane people is a perfect circle.
But Langill didn’t just participate. Sporting a blue Canucks’ home jersey, he won the 400-year-old competition.
Langill defeated the defending champion to win it all, thereby halting a potential dynasty.
“That was hard,” Langill told the national shin-kicking media. ”The hay really protects the shins, but it’s really the feet that takes all the brunt.”
It’s not really all that surprising that he’d excel at this, if you think about it. Cheering for the Canucks is a lot like getting kicked in the shins. Heck, I’d imagine getting kicked in the shins for real feels pretty nice in comparison to, like, thinking about 2011.