Canucks fan wins the World Shin-Kicking Championship [Video]

With no Canucks playoff games to watch this spring, Vancouver hockey fans have been left to their own devices, tasked with finding something else to do.

Most just went outside. (The weather’s been pretty nice.) But Ross Langill headed to Chipping Campden, in the Cotswolds of England, to take part in the Cotswold Olimpick Games, and not just any event. Not the tug of war. Not something called dwile flonking. Not piano-smashing. No sir. Langill signed himself up for the main event: the World Shin-Kicking Championships.

Yes, shin-kicking, where two combatants fill their pants with straw, then face each other, lock shoulders, and kick one another in the shins while trying to score takedowns. Langill signed up for this, proving once again that the Venn diagram of Canucks fans and insane people is a perfect circle.

But Langill didn’t just participate. Sporting a blue Canucks’ home jersey, he won the 400-year-old competition.


Langill defeated the defending champion to win it all, thereby halting a potential dynasty.

“That was hard,” Langill told the national shin-kicking media. ”The hay really protects the shins, but it’s really the feet that takes all the brunt.”

It’s not really all that surprising that he’d excel at this, if you think about it. Cheering for the Canucks is a lot like getting kicked in the shins. Heck, I’d imagine getting kicked in the shins for real feels pretty nice in comparison to, like, thinking about 2011.

16 comments

  1. Lemony Snicket
    June 3, 2014

    “Sporting a blue Canucks’ away jersey”
    … should read “home jersey”

    The Canucks have never had *that* blue has an away jersey, and the last time a Canucks dark jersey was an away jersey it was the dark blue with maroon in 2003.

    The league changed from home=white, to away=white in 2003.

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  2. Chris the Curmudgeon
    June 3, 2014

    Am I the only one that wonders if Mooney has become a troll, or perhaps been replaced by a Bruins blogger here to troll us?

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    • Daniel Wagner
      June 3, 2014

      Probably, because I can’t even imagine what would prompt that thought. Is it the mention of 2011? Because he’s talking about how it felt like a kick to the shins, which is something a, y’know, Canucks fan might say.

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      • Harrison Mooney
        June 3, 2014

        Haha. Sometimes Chris really owns that nickname.

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      • Chris the Curmudgeon
        June 3, 2014

        Plus, you know, bringing it up out of nowhere just to rekindle the pain is something a, y’know, Bruins fan would do. Not to mention prefacing an article with “with no Canucks playoff games to watch”. I suppose the Venn diagram line would have been more troll-y if it read “the Venn diagram of Canucks fans and their team’s dirty, no good, shin targeting cheapshot artists forms a perfect circle”.

        On another note, I’d like to congratulate you two on getting your website comment section working properly again.

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        • Harrison Mooney
          June 3, 2014

          Well, but there AREN’T any Canuck playoff games to watch… and 2011 still hurts. But we may as well make light of it. It’s hockey, after all, not real trauma.

          And Canucks fans — I remind you that I am one — are insane.

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          • Chris the Curmudgeon
            June 3, 2014

            Yes, and thank you for rubbing it in. Troll.

            PS, would a valid definition of insane include “not being able to tell hockey trauma from real trauma”?

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        • Noodle
          June 3, 2014

          I don’t get this. Making fun of the Canucks and their history while simultaneously being a fan and experiencing that depressing history is part of the fun of being a fan. If fandom means you can’t mock the team you love, than I guess I’m not a Canucks fan then.

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          • Chris the Curmudgeon
            June 4, 2014

            No, my point was that it’s harder and harder to tell the difference between a sardonic home team blogger making fun of his own team and a troll from another fanbase making fun of a different team. Gallows humour vs teasing, etc. I feel like most roasts of the Canucks by other teams’ bloggers would have a line something like “hey. remember how you guys didn’t win the Cup?”

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            • Daniel Wagner
              June 4, 2014

              That’s where you’re wrong. A roast would be far too busy talking about how the Canucks have never won the Cup to bother harping on one instance of not winning.

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            • Alan
              June 5, 2014

              It’s called self-deprecating humor.

              If you can laugh at yourself (and your own team), you give ZERO power to allow other team fans to make you feel bad about your team.

              Learn to laugh about it and you’ll be a much happier person overall.

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              • Chris the Curmudgeon
                June 5, 2014

                I understand self-deprecating humor. I’m just saying I wonder if there might be a new “law” to be found here. It’s a little like Poe’s Law, which states that the more extreme the fundamentalist view, the more difficult it is to distinguish it from parodies or satire of the same view. Similarly, Curmudgeon’s Law could be that the more self-deprecating and sardonic a blog’s jokes become, the more difficult it becomes to tell them apart from insults from others.

                Not sure I totally agree Daniel. The “never won the Cup” comments are a big thing, but pointing out how close we got to winning it in 2011 without doing so is also a common troll tactic, particularly from fans of the Bruins for obvious reasons.

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  3. TubaNat
    June 3, 2014

    It’s nice to watch someone in a Vancouver jersey actually win something. Feels good…

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  4. DMS
    June 3, 2014

    Ross was on my rugby team, dude has a backwards canucks tatoo so he can see it in a mirror.

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    • nick
      June 3, 2014

      It’s also for the cars he chases, so that drivers can check their rearview and know that their bumpers are about to be shin-kicked by a Canucks fan

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  5. Mia
    June 3, 2014

    When is the parade?

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