Alex Burrows didn’t do much this year. He spent much of the season recovering from various broken parts, and when he was in the lineup, he struggled to score, thanks to a combination of rotten luck, John Tortorella’s “goals are death” system, and a carousel of injuries that set back his conditioning and threw off his groove.
The offseason came earlier than expected, too, so it’s understandable that the Canucks’ winger would have a lot of unexpended energy. It might explain why he’s been busy this offseason, heading to Europe for the World Championships, and still finding time to film a couple new commercials for Visa.
In the first, and better of the two ads, titled “Breakaway in Aisle 3″, Burrows rushes into a convenience store, in desperate need of something. What could it be? French-to-English dictionary? A Roch Voisine CD? Props for his next bit of on-ice prop comedy? Five-cent Gummi candies, to satisfy his insatiable need to bite into something? A goal? (Doubtful on that last suggestion, since we all know Burrows couldn’t buy one during the season.)
Turns out it’s a Band-Aid. Makes sense. Burrows got injured so much last season he must have run out of medical coverage under the team, so he had to get VISA payWave to pay for all his bandages and such.
My theory: this wasn’t even scripted. Burrows has just been so calamity-prone that he suffered an injury during shooting for the other commercial.
In that one, titled “Face Off for the Popcorn”, Burrows jostles with Jason Spezza, who also has nothing to do right now, at a movie theatre concession stand. The problem: Burrows has a ton of change, which is impossible to handle with those damn bulky hockey gloves! Spezza, on the other hand, has the thing Visa wants you to have.
The takeaway here: if you’re a weirdo who wears hockey gloves to the movies, thus limiting your gripping ability and leaving you no better than the animals, Visa payWave is the thing for you. Thank goodness for practical solutions.
Anyway. Of course Spezza won the faceoff. Burrows is a winger.