I was invited by Yahoo Sports’ hockey blog, Puck Daddy, to write their farewell to the Colorado Avalanche this season after they were knocked out of the playoffs in the first round by the Minnesota Wild. Please enjoy.
Congratulations, Colorado, on dragging out the inevitable. As you hang up your sweaters, that appear to have been designed by the world’s most boring 8-year-old, you can look back at your playoff run and feel proud of almost winning a round.
You had your fans high on nostalgia to start the season, with Joe Sakic in charge in the front office and Patrick Roy behind the bench. Rumoured plans to hire Peter Forsberg as head trainer were scuttled when the 40-year-old Swede reported he was training for one more comeback attempt.
Now you’re just high geographically and on legalized marijuana, as nostalgia has gone awry, like adding noses to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
It’s been over a decade since the Avalanche were at all relevant in the NHL, so it’s understandable why you would want to recapture some of that former glory. It almost worked. Instead you became the only division winner to get knocked out in the first round.
You should have known better.
After all, adopting a team slogan like “Why not us?” was just asking for trouble.
Why not us? Oh, there are so many reasons.
Let’s start with the obvious: You’re just not that good.Colorado Avalanche, eulogy