Eddie Lack asks ‘Do You Wanna Have a Goalie Fight?’ in amazing Frozen parody

If Roberto Luongo’s trade to the Florida Panthers was the final chapter in his incredible saga in Vancouver, the following week’s visit from his old team, now led by Eddie Lack, was a fitting epilogue. It even got the sort of dramatics that we’ve come to expect from this tale, with the whole thing culminating in a shootout.

But to hear Lack tell it, he wanted more dramatics. “I challenged him to a goalie fight when we chatted before the game but he didn’t want to go,” said the Swedish netminder.

Over on Reddit, that got people talking. Not about who would win such a fight, mind you, but about what it would sound like if Lack didn’t just ask the question — he sang it, like Anna asking Elsa “Do you wanna build a snowman?” in Disney’s Frozen.

From there, lyrics were crowdsourced. And then the whole thing was recorded by Eliza Eaton, and honestly, she killed it. It’s amazing and hilarious. (Fair warning that it also gets a little NSFW for strong language in the second verse.)

“Go away, Eddie.” “Okay byyyyyyyyyyye.” Magical. The world thanks you, Eliza.

The full lyrics:

EDDIE:
LU?

Do you wanna have a goalie fight?
Or slam our sticks against the wall
We’ve got no defense any more
Can’t shut the door
I wanna go back to my stall!
We used to be a tandem
And now we’re not
I wish Gillis would tell me why
Do you wanna have a goalie fight?
It doesn’t have to be a clean fight.

LUONGO:
Go away, Eddie!
EDDIE:
Okay, bye.

Do you wanna have a goalie fight?
Or watch Torts yell and scream
He knows his job is on the line
Our play’s declined,
And people wanna leave our team!
(Hang in there, Kes!)
It gets a little lonely
Waiting in my crease
As our D f**** up again

(Come on, boys, get there, get there!)

EDDIE:
LU?

Please, I know you’re out there
I see your palm tree emoji tweets
You seem happy, and I’d like to be
I’m trying hard, But here it’s all defeats
We used to have each other
Now it’s only me
And Jacob Markstrom too…
Do you wanna have a goalie fight?

If you’ve never seen Frozen or heard the source material (and one suspects the Venn diagram of hockey fans and Frozen fans is far from a perfect circle), here’s the original song.

And here’s the Reddit thread that got the ball rolling, if you’re interested in tracking the evolution of this thing from a seed to a full-blown triumph. Here is the moment where it all happened:

Full credit to everyone here, from “chenac”, who contributed the opening lyrics, to “sdesaulniers”, who demanded that this thing become a thing.

Hockey needs more musical parodies based on actual musicals. Which reminds me that I should probably record my Sedin-focused HMS Pinafore parody, “We wear the green and blue”, before it’s no longer relevant. That thing’s been written for months.

s/t to Kelvin Yu, the first of many people to point me to this wonderful thing.

3 comments

  1. Kelvin Yu
    March 24, 2014

    It’d be amazing if you could sing the “In Vancouver” song that’s been kinda started in the thread.

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  2. Sandro Desaulniers
    March 24, 2014

    Haha, I love how I get credit just for challenging the sub-reddit to get it done! People are actually working on turning the entire movie into a musical about the goaltender saga, I’m not much for songwriting (and I’m not a very good singer) but I am trying to help get the timeline and characters sorted out right now.

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  3. Mattie
    March 24, 2014

    I believe they’re up to 3 or 4 complete songs now and are working on the full musical. I’m excited :P

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