Canucks’ team bus breaks down, as cursed season continues

Alex Burrows and teammates celebrate his first goal of the season as an enraged Henrik, knowing magic because he’s a wizard, recognizes the ramifications of shaking the curse loose and shouts “Burr, you fool, you’ve doomed us all!”  (That’s the official Getty Images caption.)

It is widely accepted now that this Canucks season has been cursed from the outset. Where this curse came from, we cannot know, although considering Alex Burrows got it the worst (with his linesmates, Daniel and Henrik Sedin, getting it the second-worst), we can probably assume that he was the prime target. Did he deny a witch a bank loan? Find an evil book in an old cabin and read a Latin passage aloud? Spend the offseason tending a secluded hotel in the Colorado mountains? It could be anything.

Whatever it was, however, Burrows managed to shake loose from it Wednesday night in Winnipeg through sheer force of will, playing his heart out and scoring his first goal of the season, just three shots before he matched Craig Adams’ modern-day NHL record for the forward with the most shots on goal in a goalless year. The curse appeared to have been broken.

But if we learned anything from Mickey Mouse’s battle with the broomsticks in Fantasia, or Scratchy the Cat’s similar battle, it’s that breaking a curse doesn’t end it — it just turns it into a bunch of smaller curses determined to keep on cursing, because curses gonna curse.

(Poor Scratchy, man. Watching him breathe in that Itchy dust has always been just heart-breaking.)

Two days on, we’re beginning to see the ramifications of Burrows’ selfish decision to score. Freed from Burrows, the core of his curse landed on Ryan Kesler, who injured his knee later in the game and will miss “at least a couple weeks”, John Tortorella said Friday.

And on Friday morning, we learned that a little bit of that curse even hit the team bus, which broke down in Washington, spilling the players out onto the streets of the American capital to hail taxis:

 

Curses, man. It never ends.

What do the Canucks do now? It’s tough to say, but I believe the answer lies with David Booth, who dreamed Burrows’ two-goal night before it happened. Booth, from Fort Nucks:

“No, seriously. It was freaky. I didn’t want to tell Burr and possibly jinx it, but I told him pre-game and look how that turned out.”

“I thought Boother was crazy when he told me that,” Burrows joked before Air Canucks took off for Washington Thursday morning.

“A lot of guys had been telling me stuff like that for the last 20 games or whatever. Weird that he said two goals and then it was two, man it could have been four the way I was feeling last night, but I’m not putting too much into it. Booth’s a funny guy.”

But what if Booth is more than just a funny guy? What if he’s the answer?

A theory: his dreams don’t predict — they determine. His didn’t see the two-goal performance in his sleep; he made it. In other words, if the Canucks want to win, they need to figure out a way to manipulate David Booth’s dreams. I’ve seen this in a movie. They can do it on the plane home.

10 comments

  1. Ken Johnson
    March 14, 2014

    I knew building the new Rogers Arena expansion on an indian burial ground was a poor choice.

    For get firing the GM or the coach, fire the city planner they consulted.

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    Rating: +13 (from 13 votes)
  2. zolltan
    March 14, 2014

    So close, yet so far, from a Lathe of Heaven reference…

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    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  3. iain
    March 14, 2014

    kinda sums it all up: they can’t even throw themselves under the bus successfully :-)

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    Rating: +18 (from 18 votes)
  4. Oli
    March 14, 2014

    New poster! Had to quip since I don’t know where to put it…

    Anyone else start crying when they started reading this beauty again?

    http://vansunsportsblogs.com/2012/06/07/pitb-chats-with-twitter-superstar-strombone1-who-may-or-may-not-be-roberto-luongo/

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    Rating: +1 (from 3 votes)
  5. Aaron
    March 14, 2014

    They can do it on the plane but not the bus!

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  6. Noodle
    March 14, 2014

    I blame Mark Messier

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    Rating: +11 (from 11 votes)
  7. Samuel
    March 14, 2014

    Galatians 3:10

    For all who rely on those who work at the Rogers Arena are under a curse; for it is written, “Cursed be everyone who does not abide by all things written in the Canucks game day program, and do them.”

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    Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
  8. Samuel
    March 14, 2014

    Deuteronomy 28:16-19
    16 Cursed shall you be in Vancouver, and cursed shall you be in Surrey. 17 Cursed shall be your sushi and your ramen bowl. 18 Cursed shall be the fruit of your womb and the fruit of your organic fair trade salad, the curse of your drafts and the young of your farm team. 19 Cursed shall you be.

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    Rating: +8 (from 8 votes)
  9. SanFranVanCanFan
    March 14, 2014

    The Canucks have been cursed ever since Kristin Reid stopped working for CanucksTV. I thought that was common knowledge?

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    Rating: 0 (from 2 votes)
  10. Lemming
    March 14, 2014

    Oh my god…
    We’re all just actors in Booth’s dream. Quick, don’t let him wake up! Restrain him! Restraaaaain!

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    Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)