Here are some other cool beards Mike Gillis should try

Mike Gillis is going through some things right now. He has a weird new beard.

The Canucks’ GM claims he grew it for “solidarity”, but if so, one can only assume he means solidarity between his chin and his neck. His new beard is something else. It has the look of a goatee, sure, but a goatee that’s grown sentient and then opted to grow a sub-beard all on its own. One wonders if he even has control of the hair. Did he grow it with peanut butter solution?

Gillis’s beard has drawn mockery from the Vancouver fanbase, and at this point, it seems clear that he needs help — which is where we come in. “The Gillis” may not catch on as a beard style, but there are plenty of other styles Gillis might be wise to try on next. Here’s a taste of what he’d look like with each:

You can click on the image for a larger version. Put me down for the Imperial, by the way.

7 comments

  1. Amor de Cosmos
    March 7, 2014

    I think a full-on Zappa would do the trick:

    http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2010/10/29/1288353478584/Frank-Zappa-006.jpg

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  2. Handy Hands
    March 7, 2014

    Perhaps he needs to follow the lead of Adam Lind.
    http://assets1.sportsnet.ca/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/JAYS02-300×168.jpg

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  3. Pavo
    March 7, 2014

    I think you are missing the point. This is the beard equivalent of the comb-over.

    It is designed to hide Gillis’ sagging double chin.

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    • Naturalmystic
      March 7, 2014

      Nope. It’s designed to hide the stretch marks.

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  4. ikillchicken
    March 7, 2014

    Have we given any thought to the possibility that this is part of some kind of evil twin/doppelganger scenario? Perhaps in conjunction with Torts’ sudden glasses? And consider this:
    - Beardless Gillis’ record at trading Luongo : 0 trades (in about 15 months)
    -Beardly Gillis’ record at trading Luongo: 1 trade (in about 3 days)
    Clearly two different people.

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    • mac 'n cheese
      March 7, 2014

      AHA!!! We are in the darkest timeline!!!

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    • Naturalmystic
      March 7, 2014

      Don’t fall for the Putinesque propaganda from Vancouver. Luongo’s agent made the call to Tallon after Roberto was benched. Tallon confirmed there were no talks with the Vancouver prior to the phone call. Gillis was a passenger in this deal, Brisson did the heavy lifting. Both Brisson and Tallon confirmed this.

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