John Tortorella sings ‘Don’t Push Me’, the greatest auto-tuned Canucks song ever [VIDEO]

John Tortorella was back at practice for the Vancouver Canucks Monday morning after serving a 15-day suspension for trying to punch his way into the Calgary Flames’ dressing room. It was a foolish decision for so many reasons. After all, who wants to be in there at all these days? Not even the Flames’ players.

Tortorella said as much, echoing the league’s rebuke of him as he apologized for his actions, and the effect they had on the team. “It’s been embarrassing and not just for me, but for everybody around me in the situation that has occurred here,” he told the assembled media.

But embarrassing as it was, some good has come of it. Not on the ice, where the Canucks went 2-4 in his absence and looked like a team without a coach, but off of it. Simply put, “Don’t push me,” an auto-tuned version of Tortorella’s press conference after the game versus Calgary, is one of the best things I’ve ever seen. Watch it. Watch it. Watch it.

That is stunningly funky. I can dig it.

I can also dig John Tortorella’s dancing, which is nearly on par with Bruno Mars at the Super Bowl, as well as Elliotte Friedman’s slick finger-point (which is also brilliantly repurposed to remind you to subscribe).

Poor Tom Sestito, though. His only contribution to this amazing video is essentially admitting that he’s an idiot. Fortunately, Sestito’s part isn’t particularly catchy, so it doesn’t stand out unless someone writes a blog pointing it out.

Finally, it took me a few times through, but I eventually noticed the “Gotta calm down, gotta calm down, gotta calm down” is echoed moments later by PJ Stock singing “That is so wrong, that is so wrong, that is so wroooooooong”. That’s just good songcraft.

s/t to Robert Routhier, who made this, I think, and is the greatest among us.

by Daniel Wagner and Harrison Mooney

13 comments

  1. James W.
    February 3, 2014

    With such a catchy hook, I wonder why this song is on my computer screen, instead of on a boat, nabbing salmon.

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    Rating: +14 (from 14 votes)
  2. kavi36
    February 3, 2014

    I love the part with Luongo going “Everybody wants to win” and then following up with Burrow saying “We’re in trouble if they jump the twins.” This is definite gold. GOLD.

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    Rating: +15 (from 15 votes)
  3. akidd
    February 3, 2014

    well done, indeed! anything that mocks pj stock’s righteous indignation of that night, among other things, is fine by me. like the hand-waving and the falsetto too.

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    Rating: +11 (from 11 votes)
  4. Marcus
    February 3, 2014

    Best thing ever.

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    Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
  5. EllynBleu
    February 3, 2014

    Great job!! Had to go back and listen to it a couple of times to catch the undertones.

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    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  6. Wagman
    February 3, 2014

    Like the “Night at the Roxbury” head-bob. Nice!

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  7. Noodle
    February 3, 2014

    That’s legitimately good. So catchy.

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    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  8. Max
    February 3, 2014

    That was the best thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

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    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
    • the olde coot
      February 3, 2014

      Better than the stanchion goal?
      Better than the Sea Hawks win?
      Better than a new born foal?
      Better than a cheshire grin?

      Better than a Sherwin rant!
      Better than a homeless guy!
      Better than a fake implant!
      Somewhat cute or so say I.

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      • kelly
        February 5, 2014

        you’re incredibly talented

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  9. Doop
    February 3, 2014

    I can dig it.

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  10. bobcolenotdead
    February 4, 2014

    the internet just became a better place

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  11. Lyg
    February 4, 2014

    The first shot of Luongo saying “Everybody wants to win” is when I finally broke down and started laughing hysterically. It’s good to find levity during this time of woe!

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