Was this the guilty Blackhawks fan? No. But still, wearing a black-and-white Blackhawks jersey with a Boston Red Sox hat while banging on the glass? He’s guilty of something, that’s for sure.
As if it wasn’t enough to have to watch the Vancouver Canucks blow a two-goal lead and lose to the Chicago Blackhawks on Wednesday night, things got even worse for this fanbase when one of us made his way down to the glass and tossed his Canucks jersey onto the ice.
It wouldn’t be the first time this season a fan had done so. Over in Edmonton, it’s happened a few times, and coach Dallas Eakins has been none too pleased about it. He labelled the first fan to do it a quitter. And now it would appear that we have a quitter among us, and a hyperdramatic one that would quit on a team still currently sitting on a playoff spot, at that.
Again I say: it would appear. On first glance. On closer inspection, it wasn’t a Canucks fan at all. It was a Blackhawks fan. We know because he wore his Chicago jersey on the way down:
Way to go, guy. Look: I’m no expert on classic frame-ups, but my understanding is that, when you try to pull one, it’s best to dress like the guy (or guys) you’re trying to frame.
To be honest, we’re not even mad. We’re just happy that this culprit finally slipped up, because we’ve been hot on his heels for years. The jersey toss is hardly the only moment in Canucks fan history that this dastardly Blackhawks fan has been behind. Here are a few other moments he’s had a hand in:
1 | The 2011 Cup Riot
I have it on good authority that, when the Canucks lost in 2011, a man in a Blackhawks jersey stood up and shouted, “Let’s burn it down!” And everyone else said, “No way,” and then he said, “Good thing I brought in this busload of anarchists and out-of-towners bwahahaha!”
2 | The Canucks’ power play struggles
When Glen Gulutzan joined the Canucks as their assistant coach in charge of the power play, he found a book conspicuously laid out on his desk titled “Secrets to an Amazing Power Play” written by Newell Brown. Newell Brown didn’t leave it there for his successor. It was the Blackhawks fan.
3 | The laser-pointer controversy of 2010
Back in January, 2010, at a Canucks home game against the Calgary Flames, some mean-spirited Canucks fan attempted to take Miikka Kiprusoff off his game by shining a green laser pointer in his eyes at opportune moments. But really, a mean-spirited Canucks fan? That’s impossible. Definitely the Blackhawks fan.
4 | Henrik Sedin and Mike Santorelli’s injuries
Martin Hanzal was seen chatting with a conspicuously Blackhawks jerseyed man prior to taking out three Canucks with cross-checks. Did money change hands? I have been unable to find proof that it didn’t.
5 | Cody Hodgson asking for a trade
Turns out it wasn’t Hodgson’s dad constantly pressuring Mike Gillis and Alain Vigneault to give Hodgson more ice time, but the Blackhawks fan speaking in as low an octave as possible on the phone.
6 | Alex Edler’s broken sticks
For years, the Canucks have been wondering why a guy in a Blackhawks jersey has been wandering around the bowels of Rogers Arena with a hacksaw.
7 | Alex Burrows’ inability to score goals
Unbeknownst to Canucks fans, all of Burrows’ goals have been scored with the same stick, one he carved himself from a tree felled by lightning that he dubbed WonderStick. It mysteriously went missing at the start of the season and Burrows has been left using soulless chunks of carbon fiber. It’s a mystery no longer: the Blackhawks fan stole WonderStick.
8 | Chris Tanev’s broken thumb
Sources say someone in a Blackhawks jersey challenged him to the most epic thumb war of all time.
9 | That Panago commercial with the tone deaf Donna Summer impersonator singing “Hot Stuff”
It’s actually that Blackhawks fan singing. HE DID THIS.
10 | The worst Canucks fans on Twitter
This single Blackhawks fan is all of them. Every last one.
by Daniel Wagner and Harrison MooneyTags: Blogs are for lists, Questionable Comedic Content