I Watched This Game: Canucks vs Edmonton Oilers, January 27, 2014

David Perron was drafted 26th overall in 2007, a fact that you probably already knew, since the Canucks had the pick right before that, and chose… poorly. This has a tendency to come up.

It definitely came up on Monday night, when the Canucks lost to the Edmonton Oilers, Perron’s current team (who also had two opportunities to draft him, instead picking Alex Plante and Riley Nash, but that doesn’t fit the narrative, so let us digress). Perron was the difference in this one, registering a hat trick, henceforth known as a Perron cocktail. (HEYO!)

So if you think about it, the Canucks really lost this game in 2007. Why did they even bother showing up for this game? It’s been decided for seven years! And why did I even bother watching this game? We will never know. But I watched this game.

Canucks 2 – 4 Oilers

***

  • After missing most of the season with an ankle injury, Jordan “Tiny Dancer” Schroeder returned to the lineup Monday night versus Edmonton, and the diminutive forward brought a very important element to the Canuck lineup: luck. If you’re wondering where it’s been for the Canuck forwards this season, turns out it’s been with Schroeder the whole time, walking along the beach with him, and carrying him when there’s only one set of footprints.
  • Schroeder got the Canucks on the board midway through the first. He was attempting a low-percentage pass through two Oilers, hoping it might get through to Jannik Hansen in the slot. But instead, the puck banked off Corey Potter, then off Ilya Bryzgalov’s goal stick and in. Very lucky. Any other Canuck would have been unlucky enough to see that pass somehow get to Hansen.
  • Full credit to David Booth on that goal, by the way. Schroeder only has this puck because Booth comes barreling in and knocks Anton Belov off of it with a full-body check. It’s especially easy to appreciate Booth’s power here if you catch Schroeder’s attempt to do the same thing to Jesse Joensuu a split-second earlier. Joensuu doesn’t even move. It’s like George of the Jungle hitting a tree.
  • Schroeder’s second made the game 2-2, which allowed John Shorthouse to say “deuces are wild in Rogers Arena”. Or at least that’s what he meant to say. What he actually said was “douches are wild in Rogers Arena”, which I don’t think is a real thing. Unless maybe it’s from one of the new Pokemon editions.
  • But the best part of that play was that the biggest idiot ever who stood up and turned his back to the play to have his two seconds of TV time missed it. Way to go, guy. You’re the biggest idiot ever.
  • Daniel Sedin and Alex Burrows skated with Brad Richardson for much of this game, which means Henrik Sedin is currently being replaced by Brad Richardson. It’s depressing if you think of it that way. So I like to think of it thusly: Daniel and Burrows are merely playing with a centre commensurate with their recent production. Actually, that’s equally depressing.
  • Zack Kassian continues to be as hot and cold as the subject of that one Katy Perry song, an inconsistency that was best demonstrated in his last shift of the game. After dangling beautifully around an Edmonton forechecker at the Vancouver blueline, Kassian turned the puck over at the Edmonton blueline when a clean zone entry was a must: Luongo had already abandoned the net like an irresponsible parent, and it embraced the puck like the puck was a much-needed father figure.
  • Speaking of father figures, Dan “Community Man” Hamhuis got into it with Nail Yakupov, which makes complete sense. We can only assume Hamhuis was simply trying to mentor a troubled youngster, and Yakupov went full Full House and was all, “You can’t tell me what to do! You’re not my father!
  • Finally, this game was a win for the statheads, who posit that starting a goaltending on both nights of a back-to-back yields a lesser performance in his second night. For that reason, Dallas Eakins started Ilya Bryzgalov despite Ben Scrivens getting the win for Edmonton Sunday versus the Predators. Meanwhile, Roberto Luongo got the consecutive starts. But if you ask me, the real problem was that Mike Sullivan couldn’t go to his backup team.
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19 comments

  1. the olde coot
    January 27, 2014

    When they can’t beat a last place team,
    The Stanley Cup remains a dream.
    They had their chance three years ago;
    Some changes now are apropos.

    With Jenny Wren I do concur
    about some things of which she’s sure,
    and to her thoughts I add these few
    regards this team in green and blue:
    if they have matches back to back,
    then they’ve to go with Eddie Lack;
    find right away without delay
    someone can coach a power play;
    and when it comes to who should play,
    lots less of Burr and more Dalpre.

    Is there a fan who’d find it bad
    to trade a pick for Andrew Ladd?

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  2. Naturalmystic
    January 27, 2014

    I enjoyed Gary Valk taking Kassian to the woodshed over his helmet and trying to play like Super Mario Lemieux.

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    • shoes
      January 28, 2014

      Can always count on you after a loss……did you forget MB13 at home?

      Time to get serious about the PP. I suspect that Torts may come back with some new ideas after watching that debacle last night.

      Better be reckon for the chicken hawks.

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  3. Lyg
    January 28, 2014

    I didn’t even watch the third period because the outcome was so predictable. Yup, they gave up a goal. Yup, they failed to score even after Luongo kept them in the game. Yup, they can’t string together even a couple of wins.

    I try not to be too pessimistic about things, but geez it’s hard to imagine how they can come back from such an abysmal January.

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    • Bookie
      January 28, 2014

      Don’t worry, they’re clearly playing the classic Good Month/Bad Month routine, and it’s almost February.

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      • Paul from YaleTown
        January 28, 2014

        If this is true with February going to be the good month, this does not help the team for two reasons:
        A – February is the shortest month
        B – (a bigger reason) the Canucks only play 6 games

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  4. Cam Charron
    January 28, 2014

    In meta fashion, I watched Harrison watching this game.

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  5. Chinstrap Joe
    January 28, 2014

    Where’d that damn panic button go….

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  6. PB
    January 28, 2014

    That Full House not my father clip from around the world was better than the entire game. I wish I’d watched that instead of 2/3 of the game. Edmonton is truly awful and I think right now at least we might be worse.

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  7. Zach Morris
    January 28, 2014

    I’m not even sure what to say at this point. AHHHHHHHHHHH seems like a good start.

    To be fair, we’ve not had our full team together for the entire year, but even still, AHHHHHHHHHH what a frustrating team. What frustrating coaching decisions.

    O fortune! O 2011!

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  8. iain
    January 28, 2014

    only watched some of the first ten mins of this one, up until Edmonton scored a (deserved) goal. Canucks had no jump and seemed content to watch Edmonton skate rings around them. once the Oilers got ahead you knew how this one was going to end.

    after that, How I Met Your Mother seemed a better option, even if it was a weird one that was called How Your Mother Met Me.

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  9. Nee
    January 28, 2014

    The comments on the Gallagher article this morning demonstrate how hopeless some people have become. There’s a guy there claiming that this team is the worst since before Bure played for the Canucks. Huh? Was he not around in the late 90′s, or in 2006 or 2008?

    Granted, watching the team now might make you think our window is closed. Contemplating another 5+ years of no Cup (hello 50 years!) is enough to drive anyone into despair.

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    • steveB
      January 28, 2014

      as a Cancer survivor (so far), I’d hoped to live long enough to see the Canucks win The Cup.
      I think now that I’ll set my hopes on a more realistic dream: seeing the Cubs win the World Series. :-\

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  10. cathylu
    January 28, 2014

    The most annoying thing about reading PITB has nothing to do with the actual articles. It’s the banner ad at the top that is trying to get me to buy tickets to the Ducks because they’re giving away free drink tumblers. Blech! It’s like the internet knows where I live.

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  11. Pavo
    January 28, 2014

    Am no expert, but the team looked as if it really needs to … maybe, perhaps … practice a LITTLE!

    Was frustrating watching them fail to string more than 2 passes together. And given how they usually can’t even get a shot close to the net on the power play, was extra frustrating watching Daniel completely mis-read Edler’s ‘fake shot/pass’.

    Here’s a random thought – perhaps Torts has scheduled too many off days, and not enough practice time.

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    • iain
      January 28, 2014

      canucks PP has sucked more or less since the 2011 SCF, so it ain’t that.

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  12. DanD
    January 28, 2014

    When you start with a “Footprints in the Sand” reference, and continue getting better from there, you’ve got yourself one of the strongest IWTG’s in recent memory. Advanced comedy metrics suggest that Harrison’s jokes are getting hot just in time for a strong late season push.

    What I mean to say is: well done sir. Thoroughly enjoyed this recap.

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    • Pavo
      January 28, 2014

      So you’re saying that the strength of the IWTG is generally inversely proportional to the quality of the Canucks play?

      Sounds about right.

      After watching such a performance, a fan can only laugh at funny recap – or weep into a stiff scotch.

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      Rating: +5 (from 7 votes)
  13. Geoff-C-
    January 28, 2014

    Given his history of losing his stick I still can’t believe Luo managed to hang onto it during that save.

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