I Watched This Game: Canucks vs Calgary Flames, January 18, 2014

Like the Arcade Fire without their lead vocalist, the Vancouver Canucks came into this game in desperate need of a win. Fortunately, through 48 games, the Calgary Flames are practically a dispensary of wins. You don’t even need a prescription. Their wins are over the counter, like weak codeine products.

The Canucks got what they came for too, although it wasn’t quite as easy as all that. This game was tense. Heck, it was, like the verb “was” itself, past tense. And speaking of proper tense usage, I did not watch this game — I watched this game.

Canucks 3 – 2 Flames (SO)

***

  • The opening faceoff for this game featured both teams’ fourth lines, and just to underscore how little interest either team in had in winning the draw, or, like, doing hockey immediately after it, the faceoff was taken by Kevins Westgarth and Bieksa. Immediately after the puck the ice, so too did 10 sets of gloves. Five simultaneous fights. Again: five simultaneous fights. Now I understand that neither of these teams were having much success at hockey coming into this one, but fellas, you won’t get better if you don’t at least try to play it.
  • Once all the misconducts, majors and minors were sorted out, it came to 152 minutes of penalties in two seconds of hockey. But if you ask me, the most important thing about this entire sequence is this: Kevin Bieksa won the faceoff. Way to set the tone, Juice.
  • When all the ejections were sorted out, sadly, Kellain Lain had been tossed from his NHL debut two seconds after it began. And his family flew in from Ontario for this game. Rough. Granted, it’s only about three minutes shy of how much he would have played, but even still, that has to hurt. Although your first time never lasts very long.
  • Ejecting 25% of the game’s eligible skaters did little to quell the bad blood between the two teams, who kept punching each other before, after, and during whistles. 13 minutes into the game, the clubs had combined for 176 minutes in penalties. I think the officials should have just kept ejecting players until there was one left, and then asked that player to marry them.
  • John Tortorella’s been pleased with his team’s toughness in recent times, but he was none too pleased that they even had to demonstrate it here. The Canuck coach was furious that Bob Hartley had chosen to start this game with his fourth line in the first place, forcing him to match with his and, in his mind, causing this whole thing. So he did what any rational adult would do: he ran around the building at the intermission and attacked the Flames’ coaches.
  • As this gentleman points out, however, this entire fracas may have been inevitable. Every line on the Flames is the fourth line. Anyway. No scoring in an uneventful first period.
  • And speaking of the New Jersey Devils: there were 205 penalty minutes handed out in this game, and that’s over halfway to New Jersey’s PIMs for the entire season. They’re at 387.
  • In the second period, a hockey game broke out, with the Flames opening the scoring on a powerplay (as the Canucks PK continues to struggle since I praised its record pace in the most recent Big Numbers, and a commenter suggested, apparently correctly, that I had jinxed it). But Ryan Kesler got it back shortly thereafter, negotiating a Zack Kassian pass through Karri Ramo’s wickets. Something wicket this way comes!, Kesler shouted, in the alternate universe where he chirps opponents with lines from Macbeth.
  • Alex Edler broke four sticks in this game. I don’t know if that’s a record and I don’t know if he was shooting for the record, but I do know that if he were shooting with the record, he’d have broken it.
  • With Kevin Bieksa and Jason Garrison thrown out of this game, Yannik Weber was pressed into some serious action. He played 28:22 Saturday night, and he thrived on the extra time, with a team-high 6 shots on goal. One of them went in, too, a timely powerplay marker that tied the game at two. It was a Hell of a shot, which is to say it was hot, had nine circles, Judas Iscariot was in it, and the best description of it was written by Dante.
  • Weber was feeling it, and John Tortorella could tell, so he sent the defender out in the shootout, and it paid off. Or maybe Weber paid Tortorella off. Smart move, if so. Torts is going to need the extra money for his inevitable fine.
  • Lance Bouma tried to hit Chris Higgins in the third period and missed, tumbling face first into the Flames’ bench instead. No shame in that. He’s hardly the first person to fall head over heels upon seeing Chris Higgins.
  • I’ll tell you who should feel shame: Mark Giordano. In the third, he took the most ridiculous embellishment penalty I’ve seen all season. Coming around his own net, Giordano reacted to Zack Kassian reaching in to poke away the puck by grabbing Kassian’s stick, pressing it into his stomach, then dropping as though he’d been aggressively hooked. As acting goes, even Calculon thought was a bit much.
  • Finally, Henrik Sedin played two-thirds of this game, keeping his iron man streak alive at 679 games. Unfortunately, the streak was pretty much the only thing about Henrik that looked alive. He shouldn’t have been out there — dude was dragging his own guts around. He was a zombie captain. If someone had taken Henrik out with a headshot, it would have been tough to blame him. Fortunately, John Tortorella took Henrik out safely, before anybody could remove his head and destroy his brain.
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41 comments

  1. jenny wren
    January 18, 2014

    ‘Nucks came to play the Flames to fight
    ‘Twas something else this hockey night
    (The thing to do when someone shoves
    Is simply not to drop your gloves
    As we all saw two games before
    A strategy to not ignore)

    Kesler scored off a lovely pass
    Made from the stick of Mau Mau Kass
    (I’d thought by now we’d be ahead
    But end of two we’re tied instead
    And this no knock on Eddie Lack
    But great relief Luongo’s back)

    When in the third Flames took the lead
    I went and got a book to read
    (And I just put the game on mute
    So didn’t notice Weber shoot
    But saw these teams both overdue
    Were in a game was tied at two)

    A point for each beyond O T
    Calgary 2 Vancouver 3
    (Though it was not the best of wins
    It could be where a streak begins
    I loved the play of David Booth
    And Burrow’s back is great forsooth)

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    Rating: +8 (from 24 votes)
    • Whisky Jack
      January 18, 2014

      i think perhaps “when someone shoves”
      we get the torts we want to love

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      Rating: +8 (from 10 votes)
      • Mo
        January 19, 2014

        I thought the same as jenny: Don’t drop the gloves!!!
        What has happened to us this week? I’m putting my tinfoil hat on as I’m worried – Invasion of the BodySnatchers?

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        Rating: +11 (from 11 votes)
  2. Joel
    January 18, 2014

    “Alex Edler broke four sticks in this game. I don’t know if that’s a record and I don’t know if he was shooting for the record, but I do know that if he were shooting with the record, he’d have broken it.”

    Um, regular season or playoff record?

    I’m pretty sure he broke more than 4 sticks in Game 3 of the SCF… or maybe it just felt that way since every time he broke his stick Boston would get a goal on the turnover…

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  3. Chinstap Joe
    January 18, 2014

    HNIC Pre Production Meeting. 1/18/2014

    Producer: Alright guys. We don’t have Glenn Healy here tonight so…PJ, were going to need a good long incoherant rant from you. Can you do it?

    PJ: Ya coach! I got this one!

    Eliotte Freidman: **whsipering** They really don’t pay me enough…

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    • akidd
      January 19, 2014

      ya, pj got pretty riled up there. his eyes were twitching and he was clearly agitated…guys in suits fighting was too much for him to process.”apparently we can fight again. i’m going to jump on eliotte,” said the voice in his head. they cut to commercial just in the nick of time. this thing could’ve really escalated. hrudey would’ve been game too i’m sure. he sounded drunk anyways. would’ve shifted from sentimental to surly in a second. he had been reminiscing about the good ol’ line brawl days already. rogers could’ve easily erupted there. these jocks live on the edge, eh? :)

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    • Max
      January 19, 2014

      I’ve always hated PJ Stock. He’s such an idiot. What is Tortorella supposed to do? Start the half-injured Sedins against their thugs?

      It’s ridiculous to me that he has a job in hockey analysis.

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    • the real bob
      January 19, 2014

      Friedman should send his resume to Rogers…I hear they’re hiring

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  4. Andre
    January 19, 2014

    It really upsets me to see Henryk on the ice, when he clearly should have been nursing himself back to full health. I appreciate the desire to get the team back on the winning track, but this is a way to be injured in the play-offs and be totally useless….again.

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  5. Pukeko
    January 19, 2014

    For all the fuss made about fighting and how bad it is for the game, I would posit that what Giordano did in this game (and others from all team have before) is more troubling for the sport.

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  6. wes
    January 19, 2014

    i guess the fans that flooded rogers place for ufc 115 weren’t canucks fans by the sound of things. what is a soft team anyway?

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  7. wes
    January 19, 2014

    i guess the fans that flooded rogers arena for ufc 115 weren’t canuck fans. what is a soft team anyway?

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  8. Brent
    January 19, 2014

    Well if Torts is going to get fined for his altercation, can PJ stock be fined for being a complete and utter idiot. Not sure who Tort was supposed to start when they decide to start with that. Maybe as thats offside over at C army suggest Richardson, Booth, Higgins, but he was in a tough spot. But PJ just went on and on about it. What a butthead!

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  9. Angry Canadian
    January 19, 2014

    I knew, within two seconds of the game starting, that I’d be seeing highlights of it on the sports news down here in Australia. Not really crazy about the idea of seeing five fights going on – unless it was, say, Chicago and Boston trying to beat the suitcase out of each other – just because I try to convince the Aussies that ice hockey is more than fighting but I certainly get why it happened.

    Just out of curiosity, have the angry pills that are being dished out to the players by the trainers lately been cleared by WADA (World AntiDoping Agency)?

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  10. Dan
    January 19, 2014

    So…. anyone gonna mention the during Torts-Flames commotion Bob Hartley popping his head into the hallway to tell Torts to “go f+++ the ref”?

    http://i.imgur.com/l8ALQKX.gif

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    • mac 'n cheese
      January 19, 2014

      Upon “further review” I think it’s “go f*** yourself”.
      But my lip-reading glasses got a real workout last night so…

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  11. shoes
    January 19, 2014

    Well, well. Yes PJ “retardo” Stock. torts could have responded with 1st, 2nd, or 3rd line, except for one thing. What happened in Buffalo this year, when Carlyse tried that for the leafs. He would up with Kessel fighting John Scott. Before that incident, I would have agreed and then I came to realize that the collective IQ on the Flames players that was out there was barely into double digits and lord knows what would have happened. REGARDLESS of that. The Flame WERE the team that jumped in and fought against every opponent on the Canucks. Bieksa tried to draw the 2 and was ripped off as usual. His dance partner eventually picked up 2 for a 2nd mugging of Lain. I am glad for all the replays out there or “history would be rewritten already this AM, by making the Canucks responsible for the fights” Based on how the 2 fights went in Anaheim…..the penalties were not exactly consistent by 12 minutes, but we all knew that anyway, because they were closer to correct tonight, with only Westgarth needing 2 more minutes for dropping the gloves and hugging Bieksa. That was a bit funny, but it still is an automatic 2 minutes unless of course you are the (see story) player picked to be the last man standing with the refs in a circle asking you to marry them. (good point guys)

    Regardless. Like PJ Stock the yowling across Canada will by and large be aimed at the Canucks because in spite of the fact we are playing some of the worst hockey of the decade right now….we are still the most relevant team in Canada and the mullets and assorted easterners CANNOT stand that.

    Hank should sit for a few games and the NHL should have been busy reviewing Hanzals action that night. I was astounded to hear what Referee Jackson said after being questioned about Hanzals seemingly getting a free pass with the stick until he tried taking off Booths head. He said and I quote “call me Gretal, next question”

    Over to you MB13 and Naturalmystic….you seem a little sluggish today. Anything to do with teh score?

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    Rating: +12 (from 20 votes)
    • mb13
      January 20, 2014

      I’m trying to figure out how you became a cry baby… did you take after the current crop of Canucks or were you always one?

      FYI – went to the game. Commented as I was taking my seats that I can’t name 5 players on the Flames. The Canucks needed a shootout to beat them. Enjoy.

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  12. shoes
    January 19, 2014

    Thank you PTIB for pointing out the one of the worst dives by a big guy in the history of the game. Almost delicate in its execution. Mark “softie” Giordano.

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  13. Smj
    January 19, 2014

    Just thought Lu deserved a mention; played great in his return.

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  14. Chris the Curmudgeon
    January 19, 2014

    Well, I must say that was a pretty sorry display off the opening faceoff. I’m not sure what Torts should be doing differently, what with the precedent of having meatheads square off with top players off the draw as mentioned by shoes above. But what bothered me the most about it is that in a line brawl situation, you have only 4 officials for 5 fighting pairs (also assumes one official can break up a fight, which is not ideal), in other words you have unregulated fights. By ejecting players in that scenario, the league is effectively saying that you either have the choice to get wailed on without any mediation, or to get ejected for defending yourself. Quite a choice there. And yet somehow, despite seeing Canucks players being grabbed off the draw by Flames already missing their gloves, no 7 minute 5 on 3 situations were forthcoming. Funny how that works.

    That Giordano dive was disgusting. I know they like to take the play and the embellishment, but I can’t see how you can’t give him an extra two somewhere in there. The Canucks (especially Burrows) have taken a lot of flak for their past antics but I don’t remember ever seeing one as blatant as that. I thought Kassian had a pretty good game yesterday, and his yelling at Giordano over the penalty box wall was fairly understandable in this case.

    Also, I have to say that the Rick Ball and Kelly Hrudey duo was driving me crazy last night. Part way through the second, when Richardson was taking Henrik’s spot, I started wondering out loud “where’s Henrik?” Somehow these morons are so obsessed with talking about Lance Bouma and whatever that they couldn’t seem to find time to mention that Vancouver’s captain is missing his shifts until well into the third period. Shorthouse would’ve been on that by the second missed shift at the latest. I’m sad that CBC is on its way out of the Canadian hockey broadcasting loop, but between those guys and the awful studio personnel (Friedmann nothwithstanding) I feel a little less upset from a “game enjoyment” point of view.

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  15. the real bob
    January 19, 2014

    I was half expecting the camera at some point to pan to the GM’s box to show Gillis and Burke slugging it out.

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    • ikillchicken
      January 19, 2014

      Barn rental is currently pending.

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  16. shoes
    January 19, 2014

    Good post Chris……Glad I am not the only one that finds Hrudey annoying. In his defense he works and I suppose lives out of Calgary so these are his homies. I listen to him on a American satellite broadcast and on that show, when he is on, he is openly very anti-canuck…..and of course the call-ins from the hockey hotbeds of Alabama and Kaintucky are all on board. (whinning drawl here) “I have heard that the Canucks are the worst team in professional sports, Is thet a fack, Mister Rooody?”

    Milbury of all people came to Torts defense and stated that he thought “hartley was a coward for hiding behind his team both in his bench and in the room” Good old Milbury doesn’t mention that if this was the Bruins, he would feel different, entirely.

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    • Chris the Curmudgeon
      January 19, 2014

      Yeah, I’m watching the NBC game too. Roenick sounds like a complete idiot here (not unusual), but hearing Milbury sound semi-sane is a rare thing indeed. Olczyk seemed to agree with Milbury too. I just love how when the Canucks don’t retaliate, they get made fun of for it incessantly, whereas when they do, they’re treated like pugilistic goons that are ruining hockey with their antics. I would love for some of these talking heads to just declare exactly how they would have our team conduct themselves. The NHL just seems to keep descending into a sorry joke, in my opinion we’re getting into WWF territory, and a lot of it is the completely uneven standards of officiating and enforcement that selectively treat the same behaviors as “over the line” or “part of the game”.

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      • GeezMoney
        January 19, 2014

        Embrace the hate. Don’t struggle to understand the nonsense. They’re going to hate. I truly believe it is bizarre how jealous most of Canada is towards Vancouver and its Canucks. But that’s what it is. It’s why fans of other teams flood Canucks fan blogs in order to control the conversation. There is an obsession with Vancouver. Could it be we are easy to troll? Yes. Could it be they want to be Vancouver? Yes.

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        • shoes
          January 19, 2014

          Geez….I have no trouble embracing the hate, because unlike others, I carry the utmost respect for the mullets of Alberta AND I DO think that there hair styles are genuine chick magnets…..well at least if you are in Alberta and looking down at the little lady out of the winda of yur jacked up ride.

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  17. Ratatat
    January 19, 2014

    I’m just not sure where all of this is going as a rebrand as a team (the Canucks).

    I mean, I get it that we were getting smacked around too much even years back (Marchand rabbit punches), and more the Pacific is loaded with tough-ass teams, led notably by L.A., but where is this all going? You just wonder when it’s all done in 1-2 years, what the hell is going to be left after the Tortorella era?

    Maybe, maybe IF you combine this “team toughness” with actually freaking SCORING, maybe. But, how many meatheads can we possibly line-up and follow in the questionable (as yet), footsteps of the immortal Zack Kassian ? The league is without question responsible for what has been wrought – they rewarded and favoured teams like Boston and LA for viewership and market reasons (as well as all too cozy ownership relationships), and now the league is transforming into itself circa 1975 – but with the instigator rule: just to REALLY bugger things up.

    So, back to the point: where ARE the Canucks going with this ?

    Aside: funny as sh*t to finally see Tortorella f-ing lose it.

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  18. shoes
    January 19, 2014

    listen Ratatat….I am pretty sure this rebranding of the Canucks with present lineup is going nowhere. But it is your archtypical rock and a hard place and the Canucks seem to be on the losing end no matter if they take the punches or dish them out. 180 degree difference in punishment, both ways strongly against the Canucks. So the message being sent by the NHL appears to be…..we control this and if you don’t like it tough. The problem is how do the Canucks take it? they are in their 20′s and not used to being bent over by simpering fools like Paul Devorski.

    The rebranding that occured was in the intepretation of the NHL rulebook and in the spring of 2011 two important events happened that caused a change in how the game was being officiated. Collie was exposed in a series of emails that show clearly he was prepared to cheat and fire a ref for making calls against his son, a Florida panther. Had Gregory stayed in Florida nobody would have cared…….but I think it alerted Peter Chiarelli to the fact that he might want to go out and get what would turn into the best trade in the 100 year history of the game. Gregory Campbell was traded to a team, that was more goon than skill and in the two months leading up to and including the 2011 playoffs the NHL went back to the 80′s and 90′s not so subtlely either. MLB is doing the right thing by becoming more tansparent and all parties including the officials are thrilled. Not so much in the NHL as they have it too good.

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  19. sam
    January 19, 2014

    Not sure what was more offensive, the Giordano dive or the Arcade Fire joke.

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  20. Amor de Cosmos
    January 19, 2014

    I watched the between period “analysis” last night, which I rarely do. However, PJ and his performing hemorrhoids aside, most of the other mouth-breathers were missing. Weekes came within a pause button of saying that there are different rules for some teams. Something we all know, but never gets acknowledged by anyone in the media that sucks off the NHL teat. At some point this will end, but not quickly enough to save this team.

    Where are the Canucks going? The short answer is down. How it happens, and how long it takes, are the only questions. The franchise has pissed off too many boys in the club, and they have very long memories.

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    • peanutflower
      January 19, 2014

      I can see the whole Auger thing as being a sore point, but how else has the Canucks franchise “pissed off too many boys in the club”? I’m honestly curious.

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      • Amor de Cosmos
        January 19, 2014

        Hypothetically it goes back to the Burke’s departure as GM, and the circumstances of Nonis’s later replacement with Gillis.

        The specifics, obviously I don’t know. But Burke is definitely an NHL insider, and Nonis clearly his protégé. The Aqulianis, OTOH, aren’t part of NHL aristocracy, and Gillis is that much despised item, an ex-player agent. The Auger thing could well be a separate side issue with the league’s officials, dunno. It could also all be a fig-newton of my vivid imagination, but there are enough straws in the wind — like Weekes comment about Original Six teams getting more leeway — to suggest the ice isn’t completely even in the NHL, and the Canucks are at the slushy end.

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        • peanutflower
          January 19, 2014

          So if a “pleb” like Weekes knows about this enough to “almost” state it on national TV, and as the Aquilinis are no strangers to litigation and never shy away from it should they perceive it as advantageous to their businesses, perhaps they will try and do something, whatever that might be. I mean, the stakes are huge, right, from a financial perspective alone.

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          • Amor de Cosmos
            January 19, 2014

            What Weekes actually said (and it’s probably still viewable) was that Torts had a history of out bursts, like last night’s, while he was in New York. There he got away with it because the Rangers are an Original Six team, but he may not be so lucky now (or words to that effect.) He was then shouted down by the other two. I don’t think there’s anything actionable there.

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  21. Snepsts
    January 19, 2014

    haha. Put away the tinfoil. The NHL is just plain bush-league, i.e. refs have a ton of leeway and there is way too much subjectivity built into making calls on the ice thanks to a combined lack of video review and coaches challenges or what have you. And that will never happen because there isn’t enough money in ad revenue to justify the inevitable extra half hour that games would then require. Why do you think they got rid of the twenty minute OT? Because the 4 on 4 and shootout take half the time. Dollar-wise this is the NHL that has the best profit margin, and you can bet they will make sure the fourth line opening salvo doesn’t happen again because of all the extra camera time it took to sort out.

    Anyway. What is even this Canucks team right now. The power play is garbage despite Weber’s goal; you could see the distaste when Henrik left the puck in the neutral zone in the hapless zone entry – they have no faith in the set-up until they start cycling and it is embarassing. Also, the team has the wrong energy. Like Torts, they can’t control and focus their anger/emotions. It is so stupid seeing half the bench missing game after game. We have a playoff team but they are playing with the mentality of children. The thuggish teams that have won the cup recently played hard like sociopaths and were rewarded for toeing the line but rarely crossing it.

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    • Amor de Cosmos
      January 19, 2014

      “The NHL is just plain bush-league,”

      That is of course the other option. And it could just be that certain teams, or individuals, have merely developed the skills to exploit the NHL’s ineptness and the consequent chaos. But the result is the same. Some use it to gain an advantage, so others lose.

      “Put away the tinfoil.”

      But I look so fetching in it! Especially at this time of year.

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    • Amor de Cosmos
      January 19, 2014

      BTW I agree with your second paragraph in it’s entirety.

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  22. Tom
    January 20, 2014

    Your use of the word “Hell” is a misnomer. And most certainly Judas Iscariot is not in hell. Definitely not.

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    • Harrison Mooney
      January 20, 2014

      ACCORDING TO DANTE HE IS SO THERE

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      • Tom
        January 20, 2014

        I’ll take it up with Dante. What’s his number?

        But seriously, you’re thinking of gehenna, a symbol of complete destruction.

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