Let’s face it, the Canucks’ 9-1 loss to the Ducks was absolutely awful and stands as one of the most lopsided defeats in franchise history. But, as bad as it was, it could have been a lot worse.
You might be asking, “How can that be possible?” Well, hypothetical person, you should just be patient and read the rest of this post. You should have figured out from that lede and the title of this post that we here at Pass it to Bulis were about to offer a list of ways the game could have been worse.
Here are 15 things that could have taken the game against the Ducks from awful to worse-than-craisins.
The Canucks could have taken a 9-1 lead into the final minutes of the third period…
…and lost after giving the Ducks a 7-minute long 5-on-3 power play, the biggest collapse in NHL history.
They could have lost 9-1 to a someone other than the first place team in the NHL
Like, say, the Calgary Flames. Or, even worse…
This loss could have come against the Blackhawks or Bruins
The trolls in the comment section would have been insufferable. Thankfully, Ducks fans are a lot less confrontational.
The Canucks could have been shut out
which would have meant…
Zack Kassian wouldn’t have scored
At this point, Kassian is on pace for 18 goals this season, which isn’t too bad considering he’s spent the bulk of the season on the third and fourth lines. Now that he’s actually spending some time on the second line, he’s looking more and more like a top-six forward. If he hadn’t scored, however, he would be on pace for only 16 goals, which is horrible.
Imagine if Tom Sestito got injured
The season would be over! Shut it down!
Instead of giving up six goals, Joacim Eriksson could have been magnificent, shutting out the Ducks
We’ve been fortunate to avoid a goaltending controversy this season, as Eddie Lack has been good, but not great, with Roberto Luongo out of the lineup. Can you imagine either a backup controversy or, even worse, a three-way goaltending controversy? One bad start from Luongo and he ends up a healthy scratch in the press box? That would be awful.
Roberto Luongo could have been in net for all 9 goals
I don’t even want to think about what Twitter would have been like if this happened.
A meteor could have blown out the windows of the Honda Center
You laugh, but it happened in Russia just last year.
You know what’s worse than 9-1? 4-1.
Just ask a Leafs fan.
Henrik Sedin could have injured his hand, preventing him from making his trademark saucer passes
Thankfully, it was already injured.
Paul Devorski could have quietly reffed a great game
And Canucks fans would have nothing to distract them from the terrible loss.
Mark Messier could have been there, wearing a Canucks jersey
Loudly offering everyone in the arena Lays chips while talking about his “legacy” as the greatest Canuck captain of all time.
At least the Canucks still have the league’s best penalty kill…
…in our hearts.
The game could have been followed by a riot
Thank goodness Blake Price runs that postgame hotline for would-be rioters to call and vent.Tags: Blogs are for lists, Questionable Comedic Content