Tom Sestito a ‘boxing hobo on skates’, according to Keith Olbermann [VIDEO]

In the third Mighty Ducks movie — an unheralded classic, if you ask Daniel, who claims it’s the best of the trilogy because it’s the truest to actual hockey or some garbage — the new coach, Ted Orion, chews out his squad after the Ducks squander a nine-goal lead. (Again: truest to actual hockey, says Daniel.)

“How long does it take to score a goal?” He asks. “LESS THAN A SECOND!” He’s mad about something.

But do you know what else you can do in less than a second? Win someone the PIMs category in a fantasy head-to-head. On Monday night, in his first shift of the evening, Tom Sestito went after LA’s Jordan Nolan off the faceoff, and after Nolan turtled, Sestito was handed a whopping 27 minutes in penalties.

In Vancouver, this eventful second earned praise. After all, Sestito was doing his job, exacting revenge on Nolan for a run the Kings’ enforcer took at Henrik Sedin. But elsewhere, Sestito’s ability to turn one second into a half hour earned some serious mockery. Tuesday night, Keith Olbermann labelled Sestito the world’s worst person in sports.

“I’d describe him as a hockey player, except he’s not,” Olbermann said, and oooooh boy he was just getting started.

“Sestito earns two minutes for instigating, five minutes for fighting, ten minutes for misconduct, and 10 more minutes for being essentially a 6’5″, 228-lb, boxing hobo on skates. They called it a game misconduct but it was for being a boxing hobo on skates.”

Ouch. Well, I’ll have you know this boxing hobo has one more goal this season than David Clarkson.

Anyway, three things. First: Worse than Carmelo Anthony, who didn’t even know his Knicks had a game the next day? I don’t know about that. Second: Prooooobably unfair to compare Sestito to Gretzky. Third: HEY. ONLY WE GET TO MAKE FUN OF TOM SESTITO. YOU GET OUT OF HERE.

But the real enforcer in the Sestito family is Tom’s 13-year-old sister, Victoria. From Brad Ziemer, working that NHLer sibling beat over at the Vancouver Sun:

Victoria was not amused and fired off this tweet to Olbermann: “The Sestito household enjoys your arrogant left-wing blurbs and we are looking forward to your next-firing :)

In his report, Olbermann noted that Sestito earned $7,268 for his one second of work on Monday night.

“That’s probably a little bit more than your liberal left-wing ass makes,” Victoria tweeted to Olbermann, who replied “Nope, it isn’t.”

Uhhhhh weird.

Anyway, PITB officially adds Mr. Olbermann to the list of Keiths we would like to see Tom Sestito punch.

20 comments

  1. GeezMoney
    January 15, 2014

    Big Sexito finally gets some American lub. You aren’t getting proper lub until a 4th-ranked cable news network talks about you. Way to go you hugable hobo, Tom.

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  2. Iceman
    January 15, 2014

    You know Harrison, there’s only one thing that matters to this kind of media buffoons — ratings. They don’t give rat’s ass about context, truth, cause and effect, background stories whatsoever.

    All these clowns want to do is bringing reactions (mostly negative) from the viewers by portraying an event, an opinion or a human being in the most dramatic/controversial way possible. I bet this Olbermann guy saw the Sestito clip on Sportscenter and yelled “That’s my meal ticket tonight!”

    Luckily Tom’s bright 13-year old sister saw it right through him and gave Olbermann what he deserves on Twitterverse… I don’t have the link but perhaps you can find and post it here. I love her blunt, yet quite sarcastic jabs at the clown :-) .

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    • mb13
      January 15, 2014

      To paraphrase – You know Iceman, there’s only one thing that matters to this kind of internet buffoon — clicks.

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      • Iceman
        January 15, 2014

        I praise your courage to come clean, mb13. As they say, admitting is the first step to recovery.

        So please keep going and don’t forget the ‘baby steps’. I’ll pray for you.

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  3. Pavo
    January 15, 2014

    Tom Sestito’s 13 year old sister took exception to Keith Olbermann’s public belittling of her brother and took him to task on twitter.

    All I can say is that in the resulting war of words Mr Olbermann comes across as a very petulant man – especially when he realises that he engaged in a mud-slinging match with a teenager!

    I would call the result another win for the Sestito family.

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  4. TubaNat
    January 15, 2014

    YES! Daniel is the lord of correctness: The third Mighty Ducks movie is the best movie of the three because it involves the most ACTUAL HOCKEY. Daniel, I owe you a high five of agreeance, which is definitely not a thing I just made up.

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  5. akidd
    January 15, 2014

    come one, guys, where’s the spoiler alert? i’m enjoying pulling for sestito and i’m trying not to find out any more about the politics that you alluded to a few months back. : (

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    • Harrison Mooney
      January 15, 2014

      Haha I was thinking the same thing. The Sestito family has very different politics than me and I’d rather not think about it.

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  6. Chris the Curmudgeon
    January 15, 2014

    Lost in this, somehow, is that a 13-year old girl decided this was the time to make a political statement. Am I the only one who was most disturbed by the fact that an 8th grader is berating Olbermann for being “liberal”, “left-wing” etc, and then speculating on how much money he might be earning? Between raising an NHL goon and a middle school Tea Party patriot, I’m wondering just exactly what goes on in the Sestito household.

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    • Brian
      January 15, 2014

      Well, one son is pounding Jordan Nolan, another is chirping Keith Olbermann…I’d say they’re doing a pretty good job.

      My politics is a lot different than most of you guys here, but I don’t hold it against you. :-)

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      • Brian
        January 15, 2014

        That was supposed to say “the daughter,” but accidentally hit “Submit” when I was correcting it. Oops.

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      • Chris the Curmudgeon
        January 15, 2014

        Your politics is your business. But are you 13 years old? No one that age should have political views, certainly not extreme ones. That was the point.

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        • Lemming
          January 15, 2014

          Why shouldn’t they? Your attitude confuses me.

          When I was a teenager, I was fairly conservative/libertarian, now I’m much more socialist. Just because she’s got views now, doesn’t mean she’ll always have those views, and why wouldn’t you want your children to think about the world they live in? Seriously, baffling.

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          • Chris the Curmudgeon
            January 15, 2014

            Having political views as a child is one thing, but having such strong partisan lean demonstrates parental influence. Or perhaps you think it’s normal for a person who has never worked a job for even one day (legally anyways, and not including taking out the garbage) to judge an adult by their salary? Add in the fact that her views are identical to her older brother’s, and it’s not exactly a stretch to want to question just what those kids are exposed to. For a child to have views on the world? Ok fine. For a child to sound like Rush Limbaugh? Not so fine, in my humble opinion.

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            • Chinstrap Joe
              January 15, 2014

              Parental influence – now that’s crazytown, Chris! Wouldn’t want to infect your kids with social, political or religious beliefs. Just turn them over to the state.

              BTW, here in the US, Olbermann is known as a clown by both sides of the aisle. He was too crazy for MSNBC, like that’s possible. He’s just continuing on his trajectory to irrelevence.

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              • Chris the Curmudgeon
                January 16, 2014

                I live in the USA, I know. Raising your kids is one thing. Teaching them to be snarky and hateful of others and to develop an “us vs them” mentality while they’re pre-teens is another. All children are influenced by their parents, even if they have bad ones. I never once said parents shouldn’t raise their kids, I was bemoaning how they are doing it.

                I’m not sure how she “owned” him either. What, by making an irrelevant strawman reference to his political views and then calling him out for his income? Not to mention that if you take your subjective Canucks fan hats off for a while you’ll see that he was right, Sestito made a fool of himself on Monday and his ilk are a major problem with hockey right now.

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            • Brent
              January 16, 2014

              I would agree, but that seems to be the way it is in the states, very polarized. Unfortunately it is becoming much more like this in canada now.

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        • shoes
          January 16, 2014

          She is totally allowed political views if she is over 60% smarter than the newsguy. She is that and more.. She owned him, lock stock and barrel.

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    • j.e.n.
      January 18, 2014

      No, you’re not. I would have found it funny had it not been completely unrelated to hockey. It’s typical “Yer a librual, herr derr!” b.s. – meaning the liberal card is trotted out for no apparent reason. This poor girl. Already so brainwashed.

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  7. Brent
    January 16, 2014

    Ah a scapegoat!

    “Ted Orion, chews out his squad after the Ducks squander a nine-goal lead. (Again: truest to actual hockey, says Daniel.)”

    I blame pitb for the “Ducks” scoring 9 goals tonight. Thanks guys!

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