The most infuriating thing about the Canucks’ 4-2 loss to the Tampa Bay Lightning on New Year’s Day? No, it wasn’t their sloppy hockey. It wasn’t the two goals they surrendered in just 20 seconds, allowing Tampa to turn a one-goal deficit into a one-goal lead. It wasn’t even the goal the Canucks allowed with just three seconds to go in the second period, which effectively took the chunk out of their peanut butter heading into the third.
It was the fan sign you see above. LACKS GOT OUR BACK, it reads. Get. It. Out of here.
We like fan signs here at Pass it to Bulis. (Why, here’s a photo of Daniel and me sporting signs we brought to a Canucks game back when we were still a couple young snappers of whippers.) But once in a while, I see a sign that gets my goat like the chupacabra. TWINS ARE GROSS is still one of the most baffling signs I’ve seen at a Canucks game. And EDLER GET IN MY BED-LER still weirds me out.
This one’s troublesome for me too.
First of all, unless Lack has recently been given some sort of exemption from the possessive apostrophe, like its or Tim Hortons, it should be Lack’s. As is “Lack has”. This is a sign about a person, not a collection of absences, that has our backs. Lacks do not have our backs, for they are but several unmet needs, and cannot be relied upon.
But you’ll note that the sign doesn’t even say “our backs”. It says “our back”, like all Canucks fans share a back. We do not. We are several individuals, from all walks of life, with individual backs. The attributive adjective “our” suggests multiple backs. The singular noun that follows is, thus, incongruous.
What upsets me most about this is that “LACK’S GOT OUR BACKS” isn’t just a grammatical improvement — it also rhymes better. This sign is so close. And yet so far. This sign does not have my back.
Look at the guy holding the sign. He’s a grown man. Bro, do you even sign? Step your game up.Tags: bad signs