I Watched This Game: Canucks vs Columbus Blue Jackets, November 22, 2013

Walloping the Columbus Blue Jackets really shouldn’t be a cause for celebration. After all, these aren’t last year’s Blue Jackets — these are every other year’s Blue Jackets. But after Tuesday’s loss to the hapless Florida Panthers, who looked like a team with an abundance of haps compared to the suddenly inept Canucks, some fans were left wondering if Vancouver was going to win (or even just score a few goals) ever again.

Fortunately, where the Panthers surprised the Canucks by their unending efforts to win the game — weird, that — the Blue Jackets these days appear more committed to helping other teams find their grooves. They’re the Winston Shakespeare of teams. On Tuesday night, they gave up seven goals during a visit to the Edmonton Oilers, a team that recently went three home games without scoring a goal. And on Friday night, they were once again the angel of a Western Canadian fanbase, allowing 3 goals to the Canucks — Vancouver’s total offence in the last three games combined — in a 2:10 stretch of the second period.

Thank you, Columbus. For the first time since this ill-fated homestand began, thanks to you, I can happily say I watched this game.

Canucks 6 – 2 Blue Jackets

  • We really should have known the Canucks were back when they surrendered the game’s first goal on the Blue Jackets’ first shot for, I believe, the billionth time this season. That’s what they were doing back when they were winning, after all. Sometimes you have to simplify your game and go back to what’s been working.
  • Zack Kassian was the goat on Matt Calvert’s opening goal. He made a terrible choice at the Columbus blueline, turning the puck over, then an even worse choice at the Vancouver blueline, taking himself out of the backcheck with a miserable hit attempt. Now, I don’t mean that Kassian was a literal goat. He was more of a figurative goat, in the sense that he stank up the joint like a goat or a product made from goats. But he did resemble a literal goat on the play, in the sense that, in that moment, he looked completely incapable of backchecking properly, as a goat would. Goats are terrible at hockey. They also go to Hell.
  • The first twenty minutes of this one resembled most of the last 300 minutes of Canucks hockey, with the team shooting lots of puck on goal and shooting few pucks in goal. The Canucks dominated the first, outshooting Columbus 14-4 and out-attempting them 30-6. Alex Edler alone had six shot attempts. But they still came less than a minute away from heading into the first intermission down 1-0. They looked more snake-bitten than this guy.
  • The Canucks took the lead in the second thanks to Zack Kassian, who beat Bobrovsky with a shot off the rush that probably shouldn’t have gone in. But Bobrovsky let it squeak under his arm in a moment of redemption for Kassian that was up there with Cinderella being visited by her fairy godmother. I half expected Bobrovsky to break into Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo and outfit Kassian with a pair of glass hockey skates.
  • But that goal didn’t just save Kassian’s night: it seemed to wake up the whole team. A minute and a half later, Henrik Sedin made it 3-1 for the Canucks. But it was really more of an assist, as he really just gave the puck to Bobrovsky, only to see the Columbus netminder kick it in. That Henrik. So unselfish. Always looking to set people up.
  • Twelve seconds after that, Alex Edler beat Bobrovsky with a blast from the point. It was the best blast since Blast from the Past, a very underrated romantic comedy starring Alicia Silverstone and Brendan Fraser. I’m going to assume Bobrovsky never saw either blast. Chances are the Columbus coaching staff is going to make him watch the Edler one. But he should watch the Brendan Fraser one after. It’s very sweet.
  • Having rediscovered their love of scoring, the Canucks came out in the third and did it a bunch more times, because by then, it was super easy. How easy? Henrik Sedin scored the fifth goal, his second of the night, by tipping a Daniel Sedin slapshot from the point. Fact: When the Sedins have decided to forgo fancy plays for slappers from the point, you are terrible.
  • Heck, so freely were the goals flowing that the Canucks closed out the win by getting one for Jeremy Welsh. It was the first of his career. After the game, he was interviewed by Dan Murphy wearing a really cool woven Haida hat, which appears to be the Canucks’ new “player of the game” apparel. We approve of the switch, although it was disappointing to see it described on Twitter as a lamp shade. You guys. That’s definitely not what it is.
  • Six goals matches the Canucks’ total goal output from the losing streak that preceded this game. Cleveland rocks? More like Columbus rocks. Ohio!
  • A first career goal will get you the player of the game hat, but if you’re asking me, the guy that really deserved it was Ryan Stanton. Three assists for the defenceman on this night in a super-reliable 16 minutes of icetime. He also starred in my favourite moment of the night, when he lost his stick in the defensive zone. As he circled around to pick it up, Alex Burrows flew by and, using his own stick, flicked the lumber up off the ice and into Stanton’s hands. Very cool.
  • Speaking of Burrows, sadly, while everyone was scoring, poor Burr remains goalless. He had his chances in this one, but no dice. While everyone else was celebrating the bumped slump, he slipped quietly out the back door and walked home singing “I Have Nothing“.


  1. jenny wren
    November 22, 2013

    Vancouver versus CBJ
    The latter scoring straight away
    On their first shot in tonight’s game
    Deja vu means once more the same
    As just how things have been before
    A pattern here one can’t ignore
    Then thirteen shots with no reward
    ‘Til on the next a Sedin scored

    Into the second the match a draw
    I stayed to watch and this I saw
    Bobrovsky let a soft one in
    A third goal from the other twin
    Then Edler give Vancouver four
    The fans alive and wanting more
    So to the third we’re up by three
    A comfy lead it seems to me

    Throughout this frame I read a book
    But saw the tip from Captain Hook
    Then soon enough the game was done
    The first in six that we have won
    And to the trolls for goodness sakes
    At last Vancouver got some breaks
    For which they were long overdue
    They’ll beat the Hawks and LA too

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  2. Lucky
    November 22, 2013

    I was watching the post game interview on the Canucks channel and we were told Stanton’s family is actually in town to watch him play! So they got to see his first multiple point night which is cool :)

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  3. gretchen grouse
    November 22, 2013

    Mr. Mooney

    I’m Gretchen Grouse the grammar geek
    Concerned with how we write and speak
    Just loved the rant by Stephen Fry*
    Suggesting we the rules defy
    Though I still worry we will kill
    The joy of adverbs used with skill
    And “ too much effort” to be right**
    Appears a view just maybe might
    (And i know this could seem snooty)
    Lead to writing without beauty


    *Stephen Fry Kinetic Typography
    on Youtube. A marvellous experience.

    **An unfairly out of context quote, but
    I couldn’t resist.

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  4. Sean
    November 22, 2013

    ” Henrik Sedin scored the fifth goal, his second of the night, on a slapshot from the point. Fact: When Henrik Sedin suddenly appears to have a blistering cannon, you are terrible.”

    Wasn’t it a Daniel point-shot tipped by Henrik?

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  5. jeremy
    November 22, 2013

    harrison! i think you might have misreviewed henrik’s second goal: that was daniel with the slapper. henrik rudely tipped it – entirely unnecessarily, i’m sure – to steal daniel’s 300th. i’m trying to imagine the weird cognitive dissonance going on in this alternate reality where henrik took that shot. it’s okay – up is still up and down is still down. cats and dogs still hate eachother. henrik sedin still doesn’t take shots.

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    • Harrison Mooney
      November 23, 2013

      Yep. Argh. Totally messed that one up. Fixed.

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  6. Brent
    November 22, 2013

    So did Daniel and Henrik switch jersey’s tonight? “Henrik” got 2 goals, and “Daniel” got 2 assists and a goal. Seems like some sort of alternate universe, a place where Alex Burrows hasn’t scored a goal, Luongo played well in October and Kessler isn’t playing centre.

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  7. jack
    November 23, 2013

    video of the burrows/stanton stick flip thing?

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  8. Mitch
    November 23, 2013

    Couple things:

    1. I’m glad to see I’m not the only one who enjoyed Blast From the Past.

    2. The double-ping on Edler’s goal was super-sexy.

    3. … is stoned Patrick Stewart repeatedly saying “Her buns are the best”? Because… whaaa? I mean, that’s what it sounds like, but Patrick Stewart… he wouldn’t say that, would he? It isn’t Iambic Pentameter, for one thing. It’s kind of the opposite of Shakespeare, in fact.

    4. This game was so much more fun than getting beat by the Panthers. So, so much more.

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  9. TubaNat
    November 23, 2013

    In a fitting turn of events, Blast from the Past is now itself a blast from the past, and a nice trip down nostalgia lane. And seeing the Canucks win again was almost as nice as watching Australia demolish England in the Ashes.

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    • jeremy
      November 23, 2013

      let’s not get ahead of ourselves, the ashes are still firmly in cook’s pallid british hands. it’s certainly a cracking start to the series, though…

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  10. akidd
    November 23, 2013

    and the puck goes in…nice.

    but seriously, that player of the game hat…? it’s…rather… silly-looking. no disrespect intended , just going on visual impact here. and it’s no wonder that welsh won it(“no, no, let me,” said henrik…not.)

    nice to see the puck go in. maybe burrows is saving his turn for the hawks.

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  11. cathylu
    November 23, 2013

    On my walk this morning I was listening to my iPod on shuffle mode. When “Gold on the Ceiling” started playing I was like “Wooo! I like that song!” I’m glad I got to hear it so many times last night!

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  12. chocoball
    November 23, 2013

    time to jump back on the bandwagon…. at least until tonight when we might have to jump back off depending on how things go with the hawks…. LOL

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  13. Fred
    November 23, 2013

    I agree. Move over and let me sit near the exit.

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