I Watched This Game: Canucks at Columbus Blue Jackets, October 20, 2013

You have to consider this a successful weekend for the Canucks. Coming into the two-game set with stops in Pittsburgh and Columbus, the boys in blue had something to prove. Sure, they were a decent 5-3 in their first eight, but according to negative nellies that make up a sizeable portion of this fanbase, that record was misleading. The Canucks were only beating bad teams. The Devils, the Flames, the Sabres. Teams you’re supposed to beat. Against the good teams, however, they couldn’t hang.

Good luck saying that now. A day after hanging with the Penguins, a good team, the Canucks lost to the Blue Jackets — a bad team. Your argument is finished, Vancouver. It’s done. I waved goodbye to it when I watched this game.

Canucks 1 – 3 Blue Jackets

  • Sunday’s game looked very familiar to me, and it wasn’t just the way the Canucks dominated play for all three periods, controlled possession, outshot their opponents, and basically did the sorts of good things that usually win you hockey games, only to lose because they couldn’t capitalize on their chances and pull away. I just watched my PVR recording of Saturday’s game by accident.
  • For real though, this was another strong outing by the Canucks. They probably deserved a better fate. Unfortunately, they couldn’t beat Curtis McIlhinney more than once, and now they have to leave town knowing they were bested by someone named Curtis. Embarrassing.
  • Back in Buffalo, the Canucks seized control from the opening puck drop, but took forever to open to scoring. It looked like we might see that again tonight, but after three dangerous-looking shots on goal that failed to get past McIlhinney in the first three and a half minutes, the Blue Jackets took the puck down the other way and beat Eddie Lack on their first shot. It was the most disappointing first shot since George Lucas rewrote the Greedo scene.
  • The Canucks tied the game on a powerplay in the second. After Daniel Sedin fed Ryan Kesler, who was grinding on James Wisniewski like Miley on Robin Thicke, Kesler backhanded the puck to the goalmouth. At this point, the Canucks started jammin’ like Bob Marley, and it mellowed out the officials so much they didn’t even bother to blow the whistle until the puck was in.
  • Henrik Sedin got credit for the goal, but you just know he was trying to pass it to Daniel. It’s all he wants to do. If Henrik was on a Price is Right Showcase Showdown, he would never bid on the first showcase. He has to pass. At one point late in the game, he was on the ice without Daniel, so he passed it to the only Sedin around — himself — by banking the puck off the back of the net.
  • Chris Higgins had a strong game, finishing with 5 shots on goal, the most of any Canuck forward. Unfortunately, he was also partially to blame on the Blue Jackets’ game-winner. Racing back to turn a Columbus 2-on-1 into a 2-on-2, Higgins arrived on the scene, then assumed the job was done and immediately lost his check — R.J. Umberger, the goal scorer. Good thing he didn’t follow his dad, Bobby, into firefighting. You have to do more than just get there and say, “Yep, that’s a fire.” Unless you’re driving the fire SUV.
  • The Canucks killed off a 5-on-3 penalty in the second period, and they really shouldn’t have had to. Both penalties came on puck over the glass infractions. First Mike Santorelli sad it. Then Alex Edler did it, but he somehow managed to put the puck over the glass behind the Columbus goal. From inside the Vancouver blueline. Yeah. Listen, Alex, I understand Santorelli appears to be John Tortorella’s favourite right now, but there are probably better ways to show him up.
  • Tom Sestito had a moment in this game where he carried the puck into the Columbus end, then slowed up and tried to hit the trailer with a swivelling backpass. It’s a play we see Henrik Sedin make several times a game and it always seems to work. It did not work for Sestito — the puck sailed harmlessly into the corner, where the Blue Jackets collected it and started back the other way. Adorable. Tom Sestito thinks he’s people. Like this bear playing tetherball.
  • Expect to hear a lot about how Columbus outhit Vancouver by a wide margin tonight, and when you do, remind yourself that hitting is something you do more when you have the puck less. Then just go to your quiet place. Mine is this bear playing tetherball.
  • Tough to pin this loss on Eddie Lack, who had another quality start for the Canucks, and just didn’t get the support. Support is key, both in goaltending and in avoiding back pain later in life. That was a joke for PITB’s burgeoning female demographic. Hello, ladies. Hi. Do you like tetherball? Do you like bears? Because if so, have I got a video for you.

19 comments

  1. Char
    October 20, 2013

    I had to go check out that bear. It did actually kinda cheer me up.

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    Rating: +6 (from 8 votes)
  2. Lemming
    October 20, 2013

    Does anyone know where I can find a video of a bear playing tetherball?

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    Rating: +31 (from 31 votes)
    • J21
      October 21, 2013

      Such a thing does not exist!

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      Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
  3. PB
    October 20, 2013

    That tetherball bear was 100 times better than watching this game. So boring. The only reason to watch Columbus-Vancouver games is to see the long-smoldering hatred and disdain Umberger and Kesler have for each other. Even that was tepid in this one.

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    Rating: +8 (from 10 votes)
  4. steveB
    October 20, 2013

    I want to see Tanner Glass fight Tetherball Bear, in a hard-fought game of Scrabble.

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    Rating: +6 (from 8 votes)
    • tom selleck's moustache
      October 20, 2013

      I like to think that that’s what the Tetherball Bear was engaged in: training for their up-coming tussle.

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      Rating: +3 (from 5 votes)
  5. jenny wren
    October 20, 2013

    Vancouver lost to CBJ.
    An observation if I may:
    They’d sufficient shots to win,
    But sadly only one went in.

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    Rating: +8 (from 10 votes)
  6. Pavo
    October 20, 2013

    Oh well. At least they scored on a powerplay.

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    Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
  7. akidd
    October 21, 2013

    hard to expect the canucks to beat the blue jackets when they can’t get properly humourous similes for “grinding” and “jamming”. it’s a team effort. let’s pick it up, harrison:)

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    • akiddd
      October 21, 2013

      cause there’s a very capable bear who’s just finished playing tetherball and is looking for something else to master(like thinking up amusing metaphors) if you think that taking a paragraph off on a sleepy sunday is kosher….

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      Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
      • Harrison Mooney
        October 21, 2013

        I can’t always go to the sexual well, akiddd, no matter how pleasurable that well tends to be.

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        Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  8. NarkusMaslund
    October 21, 2013

    Here’s hoping Schroeder isn’t out for too long…that 3rd line was just starting to look like it could be a real asset. Definitely could use Burrows back or some Uticans impressing enough to bump Sestito out of the lineup as well.

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    Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
    • J21
      October 21, 2013

      I have to say, “Uticans” looks like a race of aliens from some fantasy series. Uticans on the starboard bow!

      Or “Uticons”, which would be a subset of the bad guys from Transformers, perhaps with the power to transform into Mormons.

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      Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
      • NarkusMaslund
        October 21, 2013

        Yeah, I wasn’t sure what a Utica resident would be called, so I took a guess. And Uticans just sounded…kinda cool.

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  9. Paul from YT
    October 21, 2013

    Imagine just how good this team would be, if they could just score. Owning the play a majority of the game and taking 35-40+ shots per game and having the #1 PK in the league means nothing if you can’t score. You have to feel bad for Lack/Luongo at this point.
    Are Lack/Luongo both going to have to play Mike Smith hockey and get the goals for this team?

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    Rating: +7 (from 9 votes)
    • mb13
      October 21, 2013

      Lack/Luongo can concentrate on doing their job. My quick check shows Lu closer to the bottom than the top of the league in a couple of important categories.

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      Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  10. Nee
    October 21, 2013

    Courtesy of that lovely link of yours Harrison:

    ʕ ͡·ᴥ ͡· ʔ

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  11. Chinook
    October 21, 2013

    Harrison, I think you missed the memo. Columbus isn’t a bad team anymore.

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    Rating: +5 (from 5 votes)
  12. Mallick
    October 21, 2013

    Major props for the Hannibal Burress reference.

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