Nothing is going Roberto Luongo’s way this off-season. Instead of finally getting traded out of Vancouver to a place with less drama — say, The CW — he took his mind off his troubles at the World Series of Poker in Las Vegas. Unlike last year, when he finished in the money, Luongo busted out on the second day of the tournament, leaving empty-handed.
Fortunately he’s got that whole hockey thing to fall back on, except for the fact that he’s been tight-lipped about his potential return to the Canucks next season, leaving many fans nervous. Personally, I’m not too concerned, as Luongo’s had other things on his mind, like his brother’s wedding in Montreal last week.
He returned Monday to his home in Florida, likely hoping that the rest of the off-season would be quiet and uneventful.
Of course, since it’s Luongo, that’s impossible. He woke up this morning to find that thieves had stolen all four tires from his SUV. Seriously, this guy has no luck.
— Strombone (@strombone1) August 13, 2013
If the image in that last hashtag doesn’t show up for you, it’s…well, it’s a picture of a turd, and not the kind that Alex Burrows wants the Canucks to win.
Meanwhile, other Canucks are dealing with far more pressing issues. Immediately preceding Luongo’s tweet on PITB’s Twitter list of Canucks players is this tweet from Jordan Schroeder:
Being stuck in traffic is the worst, couldn't think of anything more annoying
— Jordan Schroeder (@J_Schroeder90) August 12, 2013
Yep. I couldn’t possibly think of anything more annoying than getting stuck in traffic, other than maybe getting stuck in your own dang driveway because you don’t have any tires.
So, the day after Luongo returns to Florida from Montreal, someone steals his tires. It’s almost as if someone was trying to scare him back to Canada.
“Let’s pull off this mask and see who you really are!”
“And I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for you meddling kids.”
It’s too bad, really. Tim Thomas may have finally been coming around on the idea of pumping Luongo’s tires. Now he doesn’t have any to pump.
Tags: references to pumped tires, Roberto Luongo, The off-season from hell