Finnish newspaper publishes paper dolls of the Sedins, complete with dresses

Image from Ilta-Sanomet’s online edition.

While the World Hockey Championships are a bit of an afterthought in North America, they’re a much bigger deal in Europe. This is particularly true when it comes to the rivalry between Finland and Sweden, which apparently dates back to 1932.

At the 2010 Olympics, Sweden beat Finland 3-0 during the round robin, but was eliminated before Finland could get their revenge. Finland went on to win the bronze medal. They got their re-match, however, at the 2011 World Championships, trouncing Sweden 6-1 in the gold medal game. The long and storied rivalry will continue on Saturday, as the two countries face each other in the semi-finals after Sweden stunned Canada in the shootout on Thursday.

It’s not surprising, then, that Ilta-Sanomet, Finland’s second largest newspaper, would rile up some nationalistic feelings in the Friday edition of their paper. They did this, however, in one of the most regrettable ways possible, publishing paper dolls of Daniel and Henrik Sedin wearing high heels with cut-out dresses to attach to them.

Look, I’m not even mad. I mean, using the female gender as an insult is misogynistic and idiotic, but how can I get angry about a major newspaper doing something so dumb? My only reaction is bewilderment. Who does this? Really?

As far as I can figure out, “Ding Dång” is the equivalent of “ding dong” in English and is just a silly name to call the Sedins, like referring to them as Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee.

It also appears to be a reference to a Finnish singer, Krista Siegfrids, who is competing in the Eurovision Song Contest being held in Sweden right now. Her entry in the contest, “Marry Me,” has a bizarre part after each chorus where Siegfrids sings “Uh-oh uh uh oh ding dong” several times. I think the “ding dong” is meant to refer to church bells at a wedding.

The finals of the competition take place Saturday evening, coinciding with the semi-final game between Finland and Sweden. That appears to be the only connection. If anyone more familiar with Finnish culture has some insight into this, it would be greatly appreciated.

Letting Google translate the article itself just leads to complete and utter nonsense. Fortunately, it’s hilarious nonsense.

Lions against the Tre Kronor in the Globe. Krista Siegfrids high Ding Dong show the Eurovision Song Contest in Malmö. This will be a fantastic Finland-Sweden-weekend.

Swedish hockey fans look forward to a long tongue that now the crown back to Fish Shirts pay debts in Bratislava’s World Cup final 6-1, humiliation two years ago.

I don’t know what a “long tongue” is in Finnish culture and I’m not sure I want to know.

Swedes believe that the toughest Finnish selkäsaunottajat are Sedinin NHL brothers. Especially in the Swedish press demands brothers condition dingdångia Finland at goal. Expected is the boys a ryminää and rymsteerausta that it might be too hard stuff, such as Turkey TV presentation’s where can not be displayed Eurovision at all.

Apparently the Swedish press are demanding that the Sedins implement “condition dingdångia” at the Finnish goal. That sounds completely awesome and I insist that the Sedins continue to implement condition dingdångia when they return to Vancouver for next season. I am assuming it involves shooting the puck more.

However, the obvious thing that semi-final match Sedineillä will not be, however, opportunities, because the Finnish team welded together, a great goalkeeper game and profit-oriented gameplay.

I am concerned that the Finnish team is using profit-oriented gameplay, because I don’t think there is a cash prize at the World Hockey Championships. Also, if your team is welded together, you’ll have a hard time covering your check, particularly on the wider ice surface in Europe.

 Awarded the Sedinin brothers are much better looking than our chainsaw-carved markoanttilat and tuukkamäntylät, and guaranteed to Tre Kronor locker room smells manly and stylish, expensive player! colognes. It is now sadly enough the ice on Saturday, when the Lions to give the father’s hand tight quintet game. Qualities of her could not be more helpful then after the game, when the Swedes seek solace and ironing Operakällarenista of gel or quick Stureplan area locations.

And here’s where Ilta-Sanomet dives into full-blown misogyny. It starts off with basically calling the Sedins pretty boys, which is beyond the pale. Really, does anyone think the Sedins are pretty? I’m talking about looks, not the plays they create on the ice. Come on, now. Even Henrik thinks he looks like an alien.

They also suggest that the Sedins wear expensive cologne and that the Swedish locker room must smell very nice as a result. I guarantee that the Swedish locker room smells like every other hockey locker room: terrible.

Meanwhile, the Finnish players are described as “chainsaw-carved,” which I have to admit is a fantastic adjective to describe manliness. I’m going to start describing myself as “chainsaw-carved.” At least, I will do so online, where no one can see my noodle arms.

It’s that last sentence that really gets my goat by its tail and goat-throat. Essentially, Ilta-Sanomet is calling the Sedins women and suggesting that Sweden will need their feminine talents of providing solace, ironing, and shopping. Or maybe that’s just a bizarre quirk of Google Translate and they’re saying no such thing. I really don’t know.

If, for some reason, you really want to print out your own Sedin paper dolls, here’s the full-size version, courtesy @jhitela.

UPDATE:

Friend of the blog, @MiikaArponen provided us with a more accurate translation of the article, featuring far less misogyny and accidental hilarity.

The Lions (Finland) against Tre Kronor (Sweden) in Globen (the arena in Stockholm). Krista Siegfried’s big Ding Dong -show in Eurovision Song Contest in Malmö. This will be a fantastic Finland vs Sweden weekend.

Swedish hockey fans can’t wait to see their players pay back to Finns for their 6-1-humiliation in Bratislava in 2011.

The Swedes believe that the most powerful two players would be The Sedin NHL-brothers. Especially Swedish press insists the brothers to bring proper dingdång (I guess it means a big show here) to Finland’s goal.

One could expect the boys to bring in such a rumble that even Turkish TV won’t show that. (Referring to the fact that Turkish TV doesn’t show the Eurovision Song Contest because of a lesbian kiss in the Finnish performance.)

It’s although clear, that in the semifinal game the Sedins won’t have any possibilities, because of the Finnish team (emphasis on team, “welded together” is a Finnish saying for that), great goaltending and “we only play to win” -playing style.

OK, we admit, that the Sedin brothers are better-looking than our chainsaw-carved Marko Anttilas and Tuukka Mäntyläs and definitely the Tre Kronor locker room smells stylishly manly and expensive playboy-cologne. But unfortunately it won’t be enough in saturday because the Lions will give the Swedes a beating with a tight team-play.

Their features (referring to the Swedes being better-looking and more stylish etc) could be more useful after the game, when the Swedes will go for a consolation price in Operakällaren (Opera basement, famous and expensive restaurant in Stockholm) or Stureplan (part of Stockholm) night clubs.

s/t to Paul Chapman.

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21 comments

  1. Rick Fredsborn
    May 17, 2013

    It is called “minority complex”…….the Finns used to be a part of Sweden for a long, long time where they were not exactly the top level of society, but rather labourers etc.
    Finland has been a nation for less than hundred years, Swedish is still one of the official languages etc.
    To put things to rest just check out how many medals they have won compared to Sweden.
    Finns in general are really good people, extremely hard working etc. but there are elements within their society that will never be able to shed their “baby brother” insecurities.

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    Rating: +13 (from 13 votes)
    • Brent
      May 18, 2013

      Was going to write something similar. Sweden has ruled “Finland” since at least the 1300′s until 1809. One of the theories of the “Tre Kroner” actually represents the King of Sweden having reign of Sweden, Finland and Mecklenburg, so just seeing it likely annoys Fins. Although other theories imply the Tre Kroner represent Sweden, Norway and Scania. Everyone in Finland has to learn Swedish as it is still an official language even though Swedish and Finish are from very different language groups. There is a significant minority of Swedish speaking people in Finland similar to Canada’s Francophones. Norwegians also seems to hate Swedes when it comes to sports. Norway was given to Sweden as booty because Sweden supported England in the Napoleonic wars, while Denmark supported France. These tensions are refelected in sport, mainly the winter ones. When there is some significant championships going on, Nationalism runs high in all these countries. Even in Scandinavia, the history is complex.

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      Rating: +10 (from 10 votes)
  2. Naturalmystic
    May 17, 2013

    I’m not sure why the Finns would have a minority complex vs the Swedes. The Finns fought Stalin to a standstill and inflicted huge casualties. Sweden of course chickened out of the second world war, though they made sure to play nice with the Nazis and sold them millions of tons of iron ore, machine parts, pretty much anything the Nazis needed for their war machine. I can see why the Finns would feel inferior to a people who aided the Nazis kill tens of millions of innocents. Maybe a Swedish nationalist(lol) would see things differently.

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    Rating: -10 (from 16 votes)
    • Yuri
      May 17, 2013

      Good insight into real history that North Americans have NO clue about, although not hockey related.

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      Rating: +4 (from 8 votes)
    • Rick Fredsborn
      May 18, 2013

      As I wrote:
      “Finns in general are really good people, extremely hard working etc. but there are elements within their society that will never be able to shed their “baby brother” insecurities.

      There is NO denying the fantastic Finnish SISU and their extreme ability and will to defend their country.
      Personally, I consider the Finns defeat of the Russians during Vinterkriget one of greatest military battles of all time.
      Furthermore, what is generally considered the greatest swedish military victories, when we beat the Russians at Narva in the early 1700s despite being outnumbered 1 to 4, was in large parts due to the fantastic finnish soldiers that were part of the swedish army.
      All of this does not change the fact that there are ” elements within their society that will never be able to shed their “baby brother” insecurities.”

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      Rating: +6 (from 6 votes)
    • Erra Eriksson
      May 18, 2013

      I´m not sure why Finland would have a minority complex against sweden either, still, they print dolls with swedish players and girls clothes in their newspaper…

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      Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
    • FriendlyneighborhoodHistorian
      May 18, 2013

      @naturalmystic, you do realize that Finland was only in the war due to the fact that they were invaded by the soviet union, thus actually putting them on Germany’s side – pretty sure Finland would have preferred to stay out of WWII altogether just like Sweden did. So I wouldn’t throw around phrases like “chickened out” about any of the countries that did not participate.

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      Rating: +11 (from 11 votes)
      • JR
        May 19, 2013

        Exactly FriendlyneighborhoodHistorian. And besides, Sweden assisted a lot during/after WWII by taking care of orphans, families and political refugees from Finland that had to flee from the war.

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        Rating: +9 (from 9 votes)
  3. Justin
    May 17, 2013

    Ohhh I get it…like Sedin sisters…Great work Finland, welcome to the year 2000.

    Just like Malibu Stacey coming with a free hat, is there an add on piece that is a gold medal? Or maybe an Art Ross trophy?

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    Rating: +18 (from 18 votes)
    • Nancy J
      May 18, 2013

      Yes Justin i agree with you .. :)

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      Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
  4. JR
    May 18, 2013

    Dear Daniel,

    the problem isn’t a ” Finnish minority complex”. The issue is the swedish media, who have a superiority complex. The swedish media always put out head lines in the style of “We’re better, we are stronger, we’re bigger!” when a Sweden-Finland game is about to be played. According to swedish media, the battle has already been won before the game even has begun. Finns REALLY hate that and, thus, will often support “whoever Sweden is playing”, instead of supporting Sweden. Please have a look at Aftonbladets (a swedish news paper) pictures, they are posting silly pics as well. http://www.aftonbladet.se/sportbladet/hockey/landslag/hockeyvm/article16796901.ab

    Now the game begins, may the best team win!

    Cheers from Finland

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    Rating: +8 (from 10 votes)
  5. Rick Fredsborn
    May 18, 2013

    As I wrote:
    “Finns in general are really good people, extremely hard working etc. but there are elements within their society that will never be able to shed their “baby brother” insecurities.

    There is NO denying the fantastic Finnish SISU and their extreme ability and will to defend their country.
    Personally, I consider the Finns defeat of the Russians during Vinterkriget one of greatest military battles of all time.
    Furthermore, what is generally considered the greatest swedish military victories, when we beat the Russians at Narva in the early 1700s despite being outnumbered 1 to 4, was in large parts due to the fantastic finnish soldiers that were part of the swedish army.
    All of this does not change the fact that there are ” elements within their society that will never be able to shed their “baby brother” insecurities.”

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    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  6. Rick Fredsborn
    May 18, 2013

    Wow….the “journalist” who came up with the idea for the Sedin paper dolls sure looks like an ass now, doesn’t he? It’s got to hurt being OWNED by a pair of “Sisters”……

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    Rating: +10 (from 12 votes)
  7. Zorro
    May 18, 2013

    Sweden 3-0 Finland Ding Dong that is real Hockey song good night Finland.

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    Rating: +4 (from 4 votes)
  8. Fred swede
    May 18, 2013

    Sedin line vs Finland 3-0
    Look whos talking now!

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    Rating: +5 (from 5 votes)
  9. Lars-Eric Johansson
    May 18, 2013

    I wonder what they say in Finnland now, 3-0 for Sweden in the semi. The Sedins involved in everything. Together with Loui Eriksson (Dallas Stars) they dominated, total.
    I’ve never been a fan of the Sedins, wondered why the came to the World Championship, now I know, I’ve never seen them hungrier.

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    Rating: +6 (from 6 votes)
  10. JR
    May 18, 2013

    Yeah, the Sedin bros were just too much for us this time. Sweden deserved the win. Congrats from Finland!

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    Rating: +8 (from 8 votes)
  11. Tom 1040
    May 18, 2013

    On another note….

    Yeahhh….SJ just won in OT.

    We (hockey fans) got a series now.

    C’mon Sens….

    Oh, I hope I haven’t been rude to Canuck fans with this post….

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    Rating: +3 (from 7 votes)
  12. Tengeresz
    May 18, 2013

    I like most of the Swedes and Finns I’ve worked with, and I can attest to their fierce rivalry. It is also true that my Finnish, Danish, and Norwegian friends (and to a lesser extent Icelanders and Faeroese) often root for the “Anybody but Sweden” team.

    What’s surprising about the “Sisters” thing is that Finland is by far one of the most Gender equal societies in the world. National political leaders, outspoken journalists, and successful business people are seen for what they do and say — not simply that many of them are women. Even in personal and family relationships, Finnish women are certainly not repressed in any way.

    That’s not to say that Finnish men are effeminate though. They are certainly manly men. Without putting down women as a a cultural weakness.

    This little episode leads me to re-think my ideas about calling the Sedins “Sisters.” After all, if the Finns do it, there may be more to this than saying women are inferior as people. Might it be that in the world of full contact sport, it is actually reasonable to celebrate masculinity?

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  13. obituary mambo
    May 19, 2013

    I’m very unpleasantly surprised that a Finish newspaper chose to follow the route of misogyny. As the above poster stated, their culture is very supportive of women and not at all sexist. Where s/he lost me was in implying that referring to the Sedins as sisters could be considered anything short of misogynistic. The people who use that particular taunt aren’t celebrating the strength and badassery of women but equating femininity with weakness. It’s bullshit which needs to be stamped out, regardless of the source. Further, the twins are in no way weak. Considering how often they get hit (and the fact that, more often than not, the refs let the other team get away with even the dirtiest cheap shots simply because there is a perception that the twins have a history with diving) and get right back up, they’re probably among the toughest players in the league. Therefore, even in the fantasy world in which referring to male players as “sisters” is nothing more than a celebration of masculinity, the argument loses all merit.

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    Rating: +12 (from 12 votes)
  14. obituary mambo
    May 19, 2013

    I forgot the single these lines out for praise but they are so deserving that it simply must be done. “Apparently the Swedish press are demanding that the Sedins implement ‘condition dingdångia’ at the Finnish goal. That sounds completely awesome and I insist that the Sedins continue to implement condition dingdångia when they return to Vancouver for next season. I am assuming it involves shooting the puck more.”

    Bravo!

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