Zack Kassian already a mulleted mess; soon he may look like a literal monster

Zack Kassian has looked pretty much ridiculous all season, but the playoffs are a time to step it up, and on Tuesday, the Kassquatch showed up to Canucks practice looking playoff ridiculous. Not only is he sure to have the team’s best beard, but he now proudly sports the team’s best haircut — a ratty playoff mullet that actually curls up in the back, because his hair is in a constant state of rebellion against his head.

After yesterday’s discussion about “hotness”, one might have been concerned that the Canucks were a team of pretty boys, too concerned about their looks to put it all on the line, but I would suggest that Zack Kassian singlehandedly breaks down that characterization. This dude is so unconcerned with his looks that he’s bordering on something out of a Jim Henson movie already and the playoffs haven’t even begun yet.

Kassian explained the mullet to Canucks TV’s Joey Kenward, and I dare say that the explanation is hilarious.

“In the playoffs, you do different things on your beard or hair or whatnot,” Kassian says. “As a group we came up with the mullet, so… wear it, see how it goes.”

“Do you have the best one in this room?” Kenward asks, assuming that, when Kassian said they came up with the mullet as a group, that meant there were, in fact, more mullets to see.

“I have the only one,” Kassian responds, vacantly.

So basically, Kassian is the dressing room’s official troll doll. The team decides, as a group, how to style his wild and wacky hair, and he just goes along with it.

There are a number of reasons that I’d like to see the Canucks make a deep playoff run, but the more I think about it, my primary reason is wanting to see to see what Kassian will look like after say, two rounds of playoffs. My guess is like something out of the The Labyrinth.

Except probably dirtier.

Tags:

14 comments

  1. Brent
    May 1, 2013

    He could have a purple mohawk for all I care, I just want him to play up to the potential everyone (well almost everyone) said he had when we traded for him. I know he is still young, but I have not seen it yet.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +8 (from 18 votes)
  2. EllynBleu
    May 1, 2013

    … very unpretentious.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
  3. NotPeterAdler
    May 1, 2013

    I cannot believe how unprofessional he is. The entire canucks organization should be ashamed. Growing a playoff beard is incredibly disrespectful, even if all the other playoff bound teams are doing it… You don’t see any of the oilers pulling that kind of crap right now, they are all clean shaven kids who respect their elders.

    Oh, and get off my lawn

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +45 (from 49 votes)
    • Brent
      May 1, 2013

      Or Calgary.

      Actually I heard there was a horrible fire at a golf course in Calgary yesterday.

      Yup, there were Flames everywhere.

      VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
      Rating: +42 (from 44 votes)
      • Rituro
        May 1, 2013

        Heyoooooo!!! Ba-dum-psh! +1 for you, sir.

        VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
        Rating: +8 (from 8 votes)
        • brent
          May 1, 2013

          Thanks, I’ll be here all week. Remember to tip your waitress.

          VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
          Rating: +7 (from 7 votes)
    • Bubbaloo
      May 1, 2013

      Disrespectful??? The beard is a playoff tradition… the Oilers are clean shaven cause they haven’t been in the playoffs for so long!

      VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
      Rating: -4 (from 6 votes)
  4. rob
    May 1, 2013

    Man what’s not to love about this guy? Sure hope he has a beast mode cause the ‘Nucks need him to be as ugly and nasty as his hair if they want to make a good long run.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +4 (from 4 votes)
  5. StevenK
    May 1, 2013

    “my primary reason is wanting to see to see what Kassian will look like after say, two rounds of playoffs. My guess is like something out of the The Labyrinth.”
    David Bowie’s package?

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
  6. hoggwild
    May 1, 2013

    The Kassquatch. And so it shall be from this day forth. Beautiful.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +6 (from 6 votes)
  7. Sean
    May 1, 2013

    “Not only is he sure to have the team’s best beard..”

    J. Garrison: “!?”

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +11 (from 11 votes)
  8. Simon
    May 1, 2013

    I want to like it but it reminds me too much of Patrick Kane.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)