Spitballin’ on the Ogopogo, a century-old Aaron Volpatti, and playoff pump-up videos

Spitballin’ (or Super Pass ITBulis: All In, if you love adventurous acronymizing) is a feature that allows us to touch on a multitude of things really fast, because in the world of hockey, there are always lots of things to find and colour. Here are a few quick topics.

***

I think we fixed our commenting section

First things first: many of you may have noticed that the comments section became sentient over the past few weeks, and the “You are posting comments too quickly” message became a frequent source of rage. Obviously, we had nothing to do with giving the comments section volition and making it all judgmental, but it’s our site, so we can only apologize on behalf of it. Sometimes it has a mind of its own. For real.

But the problem appears to have been fixed. Thanks to those of you that powered through this latest infuriating moment, and thanks in advance for powering through whatever absurd glitch this garbage website cooks up next. Anyway. Let’s talk Canucks.

Who’s afraid of the Ogopogo?

For those of you that don’t know, the Ogopogo is a lake monster that is alleged to live in Lake Okanagan, said to be a relative of the Loch Ness monster. Like Bigfoot (which is, as it happens, also a west coast thing, and so is strong marijuana, but there’s probably no connection here), this monster A) definitely exists and B) is naturally blurry, so it’s never been definitively photographed.

But it’s there, you guys, just lying and waiting in the depths of this massive lake, occasionally tickling Jason Garrison’s feet for its own cruel amusement. At least, that’s according to Garrison in the latest edition of Breaking the Ice, which is a lot of fun:

A few observations:

  • Burrows telling Kathy Anderson “I don’t even know what you’re talking about” is like the pot calling the kettle unintelligible.
  • Jason Garrison flirts with danger all the time, which is probably why his nickname is Jason “Danger-Flirter” Garrison.
  • Dan Hamhuis is an expert at warding off monsters. He keeps his windows rolled up. Good defensive strategy, just like you’d expect from the defensive defenceman.
  • Bringing Kassian on an Ogopogo expedition is a good idea, because there’s a good chance the Ogopogo would see him and be like, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING?!?! and then flee through the secret underwater passage to Scotland.

What’s weird is nobody suggested taking David Booth. He seems like the sort of guy you’d want to take on a hunt. I dunno. Maybe that’s just me.

David Booth: still funny, on occasion

Speaking of Booth, you’ll recall that the man suffered a high ankle sprain a month ago, and the Canucks subsequently announced him as out indefinitely. But he’s since gotten his boot off, which means that it’s not out of the question that he rejoins the team this year. This is ideal, since Booth is a much more impactful player than people realize. Against some of the league’s better possession teams, especially, the way he drives possession the other way could be vital to Vancouver’s success. It’s quite likely that, on a long playoff run, Booth could do a lot to rehabilitate his image in this market.

But that hasn’t happened yet, and right now, many still think he’s a buyout candidate. He’s cool with that, though. This is one of my favourite tweets in recent memory:

 

I love how matter-of-factly he answers the question. In between the twitpics of stuff he’s killed, Booth can be really funny.

Aaron Volpatti passed through some sort of time vortex on his way to Washington

Hey, remember Aaron Volpatti? He used to play for the Canucks, and then he was claimed on waivers by the Washington Capitals. He totally still exists! He’s aged quite a bit, though. How much, you might ask? Oh, I don’t know. HOW ABOUT A CENTURY:

This image, via @rsen9, is from the Capitals’ yearbook. Aaron Volpatti is apparently 117 now. That’s crazy. I can’t believe the Canucks let such an obvious vampire go for nothing.

It’s playoff (pump-up video) time

The playoffs are close, which means the playoff pump-up videos are going to start coming fast and furious. Here’s one of the first ones, courtesy Tanbir Rana. It succeeds in its primary objective, I’d say:

I am sufficiently pumped.

Tags: , , , ,

18 comments

  1. Andrew
    April 18, 2013

    I didn’t know that Okanagan Lake was is northern BC… Does this mean I get a Northern Living Allowance :)

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +5 (from 5 votes)
  2. Bolderevolution
    April 18, 2013

    The only way to call Lake Okanagan’s location “northern BC” is to call everything north of Vancouver “northern BC”, which is geographically the equivalent of calling … oh forget it, I can’t think of a simile for that. I don’t know how you guys think of clever similes all the time – must be another west coast thing not connected to the other west coast things.

    (btw – the comment thing didn’t work first try)

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +5 (from 5 votes)
    • Neil B
      April 18, 2013

      Having spent a fair bit of time in Toronto, one thing immediately sprung to mind: Northern Ontario. It starts around Nipissing, ON, which is at 46° N, or approximately 45 minutes north of Vancouver. The other one, in Washington State.

      VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
      Rating: +4 (from 4 votes)
    • Technically still a ranger fan
      April 18, 2013

      “Upstate” New York = anything that’s not New York City. Depending on who you ask this includes the bronx, and probably parts of Jersey. Seriously, at least there are sort of things in BC south of Vancouver. “Upstate” NY also includes all of western NY which really never made sense to me either.

      VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
      Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
  3. Square Ball
    April 18, 2013

    I thought the “You are posting comments too quickly” was actually kinda funny. Every once in a while I think messages like that should pop up when posting comments.
    “The Ogopogo does not endorse your comment”.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +11 (from 11 votes)
    • Naturalmystic
      April 18, 2013

      The Ogopogo ate 2 of my comments on PITB.

      VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
      Rating: +7 (from 7 votes)
      • Harrison Mooney
        April 18, 2013

        The Ogopogo is our web host.

        VN:F [1.9.16_1159]
        Rating: +8 (from 8 votes)
  4. Dan
    April 18, 2013

    Man when tribute videos use Naslund’s words about it happening really soon, I always get chills.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
  5. rsen9
    April 18, 2013

    @Sydneyhasnever actually took the photo of their year book, just passed it along to you folks!

    But thank you, I thought you guys usually ignore any of my tweets directed your way haha

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
    • Harrison Mooney
      April 18, 2013

      Ha. We don’t ignore anybody’s tweets (except for this one guy, and he knows who he is).

      VN:F [1.9.16_1159]
      Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  6. J21 (@Jyrki21)
    April 18, 2013

    Everyone knows Jason Garrison’s nickname is either “Mr. Hat” or “Ellis from Die Hard”.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
    • Chinook
      April 18, 2013

      Or Johnny Canuck’s avatar

      VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
      Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
    • Dave Robinson (@dcrwrites)
      April 18, 2013

      I guess I’m the only one, but I don’t see “Mr. Hat,” I see Sir Christopher Lee more than anything… whether that makes him Count Dracula, Count Dooku, or Saruman is up to the viewer…

      VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
      Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
      • another fan
        April 19, 2013

        I’ve been waiting all season for someone else to see it and say it, but I guess it’s up to me: Garrison is a live ringer for Richard Manuel.

        VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
        Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  7. Abby
    April 18, 2013

    It’s been a while since I’ve seen a pump up video with footage from 2011 and 2012 and the sting is still there. But then there is the footage from Tanev’s first goal and Schnieder/Lu being absolute walls and the quote from Nazzy and the passion of Kes and Hank becoming the points leader.

    Sufficiently pumped, I might say.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  8. Sonia
    April 18, 2013

    I love Hamhuis saying “What’s this interview for?” because I’m literally picturing Kathy just sitting down next to him and blabbering on about the Ogopogo and Hammer just being like “…” lol

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +6 (from 6 votes)
    • Abby
      April 18, 2013

      He’s so serious and focused and it’s kind of adorable.

      “What, is it still January? I thought we were supposed to be preparing for the playoffs, not talking about mythical sea monsters.”

      VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
      Rating: +4 (from 4 votes)
  9. steveB
    April 19, 2013

    When it comes to Canucks pump-up videos, this one by DeltaCanuckian is unsurpassed:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fqs57NueOak

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)