I Find This Photo Odd: Cory Schneider finally snaps

Just how much more can Cory Schneider take?

Two years after the Canucks used their first round draft pick on Schneider in 2004, Dave Nonis traded for Roberto Luongo. Seven years later and Schneider still hasn’t surpassed Luongo on the depth chart. Nearly nine years ago, he was drafted to be the Canucks’ goaltender of the future and that future still hasn’t quite arrived yet.

It seemed all but certain that Schneider had taken over the Canucks’ net permanently when he was named the starter for game three of the 2012 playoffs against the Los Angeles Kings. Schneider was superb in all three games he played, making 97 saves on 101 shots, including 43 in the Canucks’ only win of the series. Luongo reportedly requested a trade and the speculation on his destination began.

Only, Luongo didn’t go anywhere. And now, after outplaying Schneider so far this season, Luongo looks likely to take back the number one job, or at least 1A, demoting Schneider to the dreaded 1B.

Schneider has taken all of this with good grace and humour, despite leaving Boston College before his senior year, spending three seasons as one of the best goaltenders in the AHL, and two phenomenal seasons as Luongo’s backup. But would anyone be surprised if he just lost it? Actually, it looks like he already has.

Take a look at the picture I used for my post earlier this week on the Canucks’ goaltending situation: I find this photo odd.

There’s murder in those eyes. It looks like Schneider has spent days just watching Keith Ballard’s baseball bat swing to the head of Tomas Vokoun while muttering Yes…yes…YES and laughing maniacally.

Meanwhile, Luongo looks completely unaware that he is about to the victim of an attempted decapitation.

However, as hefty as a goalie stick is, it’s still not a very effective weapon. That’s likely why Schneider didn’t go through with his attack at the time. He may have snapped, but Schneider is still a practical man. If he’s going to go through with something, it’s got to be done right with the right weapon.

Such as, perhaps, a fireman’s axe:

Scheider is a massive Final Fantasy fan and has a replica of Cloud Strife’s Buster Sword at home. While somewhat impractical, it does make for a pretty badass weapon.

But none of those seem quite right. Perhaps, in order to become king of the goaltenders in Vancouver, Schneider needs to use the sword of a king. The legendary sword, Caledfwlch, Caliburnus, Escalibor, the Sword in the Stone: Excalibur.

This wouldn’t even be the first time Luongo’s backup has gone around the bend and considered offing him to take over the number one job. Recall Jamie McLennan fantasizing about running Luongo over with a zamboni in Florida:

Watch your back, Lu.

Original image: Jeff Vinnick, Getty Images. Stick-tap to @doogie2k on Twitter for reminding me about the Jamie McLennan video.
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9 comments

  1. Warpstone
    March 13, 2013

    “There can be only One!” — Cory ‘Highlander’ Schneider

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    Rating: +17 (from 19 votes)
    • swizzler16
      March 14, 2013

      Luongo wears #1. He might have the inside track.

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  2. Cathylu
    March 13, 2013

    It looks like Lu was funny even back in the day!

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    Rating: +7 (from 7 votes)
  3. biznow
    March 13, 2013

    http://oi50.tinypic.com/33xcv45.jpg

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    Rating: +9 (from 9 votes)
    • Daniel Wagner
      March 13, 2013

      Amazing.

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    • tom selleck's moustache
      March 13, 2013

      LMAO, brilliant.

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    • Rituro
      March 13, 2013

      Thumbs up for you, sir/madam.

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    • Cody
      March 13, 2013

      Can’t like that enough

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  4. jrc
    March 13, 2013

    The strombone-zamboni incident. Awesome.

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    Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)