New Van Fan, episode six: ‘Dumb Things’

New Van Fan is a web-series that follows the adventures of long-time Canucks fan Dan as he attempts to bring novice Canucks fan Andreas up to speed. The whole thing may or may not be an excuse to point out the inherent silliness of this fanbase — we’re not quite sure. Have an idea for an episode? Suggest it in the comments. 

Last week on New Van Fan, the titular character, Andreas, showed a little agency, subverting the Canuck fan mentor/mentee relationship the webseries had established over the previous four episodes and creating his own Canucks’ tradition, Snepsts Day. He’s shown the capacity for insight in the past, most notably when he broke the “greatest player” criteria by asking about it, but this was his cleverest moment. Snepsts Day was excellent.

This week, Andreas isn’t quite so clever. As it turns out, while he can be smart, on occassion, he can also be pretty dumb. In this way, he’s no different from many who watch and/or cover the Canucks. But Andreas isn’t blending in with the crowd here (except regarding Luongo, where he’s appropriately bipolar). Some of these quotes are just things you don’t say:

Not bad, though it needs more “Kevin Bieksa isn’t an impact player.”

Lesson: calling Markus Naslund overrated is a good way to get someone to pour water into your tiny bowl of popcorn.

Also: it would appear that Dan has gone from mentor to Big Brother, having installed cameras in the ceiling of Andreas’s bedroom. This is almost as disconcerting as the fact that Andreas sleeps with the lights on while thinking about Mike Keenan.


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1 Comment

  1. steveB
    March 11, 2013

    hard to top Burrows isn’t clutch

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