The 20 worst jersey fouls in Canucks fan history

Luongo never wore this jersey. Minor foul. But these next 20 are match penalties.

If you’re a regular reader of Puck Daddy, that other blog I occasionally write for, you’re probably aware of “Jersey Fouls”, the popular feature in which Greg Wyshynski highlights some of the most egregious alterations, customizations, and other atrocities people commit when they don their hockey apparel.

People like to talk about hockey’s “code”, the unwritten set of rules that governs who fights, when they fight, and how they fight. But there’s another code in hockey, and it governs what it and isn’t acceptable to wear to the arena. A normal hockey jersey? Acceptable. A customized jersey with the number 69 and the nameplate “YOURMOM”? Yeah, no.

There are a lot of different fouls. Many are listed in this Jersey Foul Bingo card we made a while back, which remains a great thing to print out and take on your hockey road trip. But if you want to see a lot of different fouls in heinous, heinous practice, you’re in luck. Canuck fans commit a lot of them. What follows are the 20 most egregious ones we’ve seen, from spelling mistakes to frankenjerseys to general crudity and everything in between, courtesy Wyshinski’s many amazing galleries.

20 | NJ Yankee

This one makes no sense to me. Wouldn’t a yankee from New Jersey want a Devils jersey or, at the very least, any American jersey? For a yankee, the wearer of this jersey appears to have a conspicuous preference for Canada. Plus, grabbing the number 45 disrespect the legacy of Nathan McIver.

19 | MacVicar 12 1/2

Speaking of jerseys that make no sense… who is MacVicar? Is this a second jersey that disrespect Nathan McIver, perhaps by spelling his name wrong and getting his number incredibly wrong? No idea. I thought, for a moment, maybe this jersey belonged to a child whose last name was MacVicar and whose age was twelve and a half, but it looks like a grown man in this jersey. So I have no clue here.

18 | Canucklehead 69

Huh huh huh it says Canucklehead and the number is 69… huh huh huh huh.

17 | Ovechkin 8

See, because Alex Ovechkin never played for the Canucks, which is why this is a foul. Why you’d do this is beyond me. Isn’t Chris Tanev enough for you?

16 | Cup Bound

This jersey surfaced during the 2011 Stanley Cup Final. In hindsight, it may have been just a touch premature. Either that, or it was the cause of the Canucks’ failure. Eleven, really? Wayne Maki’s unofficially retired number, brought back by Mark Messier? There’s no way this didn’t rouse the local hockey gods.

15 | Dukenukem 187

I’ve never played the Duke Nukem games, but I’m quite confident that there isn’t a level or a world or whatever where he suits up for the Canucks. I’m even more confident that he doesn’t wear the number 187.

14 | Max Power

Max Power is the man with name you want to touch, but you mustn’t touch, but he doesn’t play for the Canucks. He never did. And if he did, a classy guy like Max Power isn’t going to wear 69 like a twelve-year-old. This is all kinds of foul.

13 | Sedins

Oh, come on now.

12 | McClean 1

Scott Brown, our illustrious Vancouver Sun sports editor, floats the theory that, perhaps, McClean is this guy’s last name. Because it’s definitely not the last name of Kirk McLean, who wore number 1 and would go nicely with the Richard Brodeur jersey to his left. Here’s hoping. If not, this is a big ol’ spelling foul.

11 | Blue and Green Canadiens jersey

That is not the logo that goes there. THAT’S NOT THE LOGO THAT GOES THERE. PUT IT BACK.

10 | Gretzsky

Wow. Just wow. First of all, I’m not sure who Gretzsky is, but there’s no way he wore 99, because only Wayne Gretzky scored that. Second, despite very nearly signing a deal, Gretzky never played for the Canucks. And third, even if he had, it wouldn’t have been in this jersey. Everything about this is bad.

9 | Bite Me

Wherein the stick in rink is used for a wonderful tableau. What’s strangest to me here is that this guy went with Lapierre’s finger taunt instead of, say, Burrows’ actual bite. Why not go for gusto? Either way, this is strange. And the lime green makes the whole thing sort of off-putting too.

8 | Kseler

What’s strangest to me about this jersey is that no one is telling this guy what’s gone horribly, horribly wrong. You’d think someone would be tapping him on the shoulder or whispering into his ear while his eyes grow wide with horror. But no. He’s just shuttling around the Lowerr Mainland with “KSELER” written on his back like a dope.

7 | Henrik Sedin/Andrew Ladd frankenjersey, part one

Why you would do this do a perfectly good Henrik Sedin jersey is beyond me, and mashing him together with Andrew Ladd, a noted enemy of the club, makes even less sense. The two logos don’t come anywhere near lining up and neither do the numbers, with an inch-wide slice of Ladd’s “6″ just floating there. On the bright side, at least the other halves of these two jerseys didn’t go to waste.

6 | Henrik Sedin/Andrew Ladd frankenjersey, part two

There it is. What makes this mashup the worse side? The number 36. That’s Jannik Hansen’s number. You’ve ruined a Henrik Sedin jersey by sewing half a Jets jersey onto it and given Henrik Jannik Hansen’s number. What could drive a person to such insanity?

5 | Stinky 69

Sigh. This guy probably thinks he’s hilarious.

4 | Your Mom 69

There are several “69″ jerseys on this list, but as far as maturity goes, this one takes the cake. Not content to just have a snicker-worthy number on the back, this intelligent fellow tacks on a “Your Mom”. I guarantee you when he went to get this, the person affixing the letters rolled their eyes so hard they nearly died.

3 | Neely

This is just cruel. Why would you do this to your fellow fans? Unless you’re trolling, in which case, we still don’t approve.

2 | Henrik Sedin counterfeit jersey of champions

It seems like a knockoff… but I can’t be entirely sure.

1 | Crosongo

But the grandaddy of them all is “Crosongo”. Half Crosby, half Luongo, all jersey foul. Why? Just…. why.

Tags: ,

30 comments

  1. Steve_May
    March 5, 2013

    Re Number 19: Rob McVicar (not MacVicar) played 3 minutes of net for the Canucks in 05/06 – didn’t let in a goal.

    And any Canucks fan should know that Neely wore 21 as a Canuck.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +10 (from 10 votes)
  2. A
    March 5, 2013

    Good. Lord.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +7 (from 7 votes)
  3. biznow
    March 5, 2013

    Wow. Guessing that KSELER jersey came from an ebay store that totally sells “authentic” jerseys.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +8 (from 8 votes)
  4. Warpstone
    March 5, 2013

    Is the “Leafs Suck!” nameplate on an modern Orca jersey a Jersey Foul?

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
    • Daniel Wagner
      March 5, 2013

      Has a player with the last name “Leafs Suck!” ever played for the Canucks? No? Then it’s a jersey foul.

      VN:F [1.9.16_1159]
      Rating: +7 (from 9 votes)
      • gumby
        March 5, 2013

        I’d give a pass to that one.

        VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
        Rating: +2 (from 4 votes)
        • JDM
          March 6, 2013

          There are exceptions to this rule. For example, Taro Tsujimoto never played for the Buffalo Sabres – or anyone else for that matter – but a Tsujimoto Sabres jersey is not only not a foul, it’s ten kinds of AWESOME.

          VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
          Rating: +4 (from 4 votes)
  5. swizzler
    March 5, 2013

    how was messier wearing #11 not at the top of this list?
    an active player insisting on committing a jersey foul.
    simply egregious

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +23 (from 23 votes)
  6. New Van Fan
    March 5, 2013

    So I should return my #23 “Elder” jersey then?

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +10 (from 10 votes)
    • chinook
      March 6, 2013

      For a full refund, plus insult.

      VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
      Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  7. Lexie
    March 5, 2013

    My favourite jersey foul came courtesy of a fine young gentleman who belligerently informed me that I, as a girl, had no clue what I was talking about. He was wearing a “SNEPTS” jersey- and I had discreetly taken him aside to suggest he might want to return the jersey to wherever he had purchased it from.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +13 (from 13 votes)
    • chinook
      March 6, 2013

      Your charity to those beyond redemption exceeds that of Mother Teresa.

      VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
      Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
  8. Timmy Wong (@timmywong11)
    March 5, 2013

    ” But the grandaddy of them all is “Crosongo”. Half Crosby, half Luongo, all jersey foul. Why? Just…. why.”

    Half Sid, half Luuuu, and all Phil Kessel

    *shudders*

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +7 (from 7 votes)
  9. Matt
    March 5, 2013

    I dunno … my favorite dig at the Canucks from a jersey perspective was the fan who wore the old Halloween colours, with the nameplate “CUPS” and the number “00″. Come to think of it, that actually made me sad at the same time.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +2 (from 4 votes)
  10. Cathylu
    March 5, 2013

    I don’t play video games so I don’t know if it is related but “187″ is the penal code for murder.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +4 (from 4 votes)
  11. Jacob
    March 5, 2013

    Re: #10. Rick Dudley and Wilf Paiement both also wore 99, but since “Gretzsky” is an even worse spelling of either of those names this is definitely still a foul.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
  12. Bucky
    March 5, 2013

    It’s amazing how many of these jersey fouls are on counterfeit jerseys. They’re so easy to spot.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  13. Barry
    March 5, 2013

    re: #13 – 23 Sedins

    If the player is responsible for his own jersey foul, is it still a jersey foul?

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  14. Sarah
    March 5, 2013

    Once I saw a guy in 7/11 with a Canucks Jersey that was #420 and name “Boomdizzle.” Sadly I have no photo-evidence…

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    • chinook
      March 6, 2013

      With equal sadness, your word is good with us.

      VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
      Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  15. Lenny
    March 5, 2013

    Bite Me is my fav.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  16. Mitch
    March 5, 2013

    All right, what is the appeal of the Frankenjersey? I don’t understand it at all. We’ve all seen it multiple times on Puck Daddy, and every time I’m left wondering if they’re actively trying to besmirch the jerseys, or if they’re just completely lacking in self awareness. Or they just have limitless budgets and they enjoy driving the other fans nuts.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
    • John
      March 6, 2013

      Except for parents of two players on different teams this makes no sense to me. I think it always looks horrible, but at least I can understand why they would do it.

      VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
      Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  17. J21 (@Jyrki21)
    March 5, 2013

    I see no real problem with #20 — the guy’s a Canuck fan originally from New Jersey and is proud of that. As a fellow U.S.-born Canuck fan I can admire that. If he’s not going to cheer for the Devils (or, let’s be more honest here, the Rangers) why would it have to be another American-based team? He has no greater connection to Los Angeles or Detroit than he does to Vancouver.

    #19 could be an allusion to Rob McVicar, but it is spelled wrong (and I assume only a family member would have a Rob McVicar jersey, and they wouldn’t spell it wrong). Probably the guy’s own name and 12½ is some kind of inside joke.

    #13 I actually think this is clever (though he might have given them their combined #55 instead of 23). Have you noticed how few Sedin jerseys you see on fans, even though they are two of the best players in the league? It is partially xenophobia, but it is also partially because fans generally won’t pick one over the other. This solves that.

    #10 I would be willing to be that this is a novelty jersey featuring that girl’s nickname. Her first name is probably Skyler or something.

    I also LOVE the early ’80s throwback Luongo jersey in the article masthead. I don’t get why era-mixing is a jersey foul to begin with, it’s actually a really fun visual experiment (particularly in the days before they throwback third jerseys started appearing to see it for real, so the thought of Trevor Linden in blue and green, say, was unthinkable but still cool to try to imagine). Now that teams do so often use retro jerseys anyway, these types are only a hair away from being in team stores anyway.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +3 (from 13 votes)
  18. Square Ball
    March 6, 2013

    Crosongo has a certain ring to it… Can’t decide if a good one or bad. Partially it also reminds me of croissants, which are good.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  19. John
    March 6, 2013

    #2 is awesome. That needs to be in the stores immediately.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  20. Tiffany
    March 6, 2013

    Crossongo…
    Croissants and the tango.
    That must be what the guy wearing the jersey really likes, not hockey.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  21. Milky
    March 7, 2013

    Someone please hurry up and create a Schlongo 315 jersey before one of them is traded away.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
  22. Andre
    March 7, 2013

    I have two Canuck jerseys plus a 2010 Team Canada jersey with both my name and birth year on the back. Ironically, my birth year just happens to be 1969. It’s time to put this 69 sex stuff to bed once and for all as ’69 was a good year and Bryan Adams co-wrote and recorded a classic hit based on that year.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
    • chinook
      March 8, 2013

      Sorry but I think you have to wear it. heeheehee

      VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
      Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)