I Find This Photo Odd: Apparently Keslurks come with backrubs now

As you are likely quite aware by now, Ryan Kesler has something of a habit of appearing behind people. Most of the time, he’s just sort of there, ruining interviews by filling the background with his trademark Keslurk smirk. But occasionally, he offers goods and services. Once, he offered Raffi Torres a piece of pizza, for instance. And in this odd little photo, the service appears to be a surprise back massage for Henrik Sedin.

Henrik recently became the highest-scoring Canuck in franchise history, so I guess you could say he earned it. He appears to be enjoying it, too.

That’s right. This isn’t just a photo of a potential Keslurk. This photo, from the Province tumblr page, also appears to be a photo of the elder Sedin’s oh-face, otherwise known as “Oh Henrik”. If you were ever wondering what that looked like — in which case, what is wrong with you — now you know. But if it makes you sort of uncomfortable, you’re not alone.

Judging from his face, Daniel Sedin feels the same way.

Or maybe this isn’t a photo of a surprise massage from one man to another. Perhaps we’re getting some insight into what the captaincy means: massages from teammates whenever you demand. Is it possible that Henrik is a totalitarian captain who demands daily massages, and this is simply the first photographic evidence of his constant abuses of power?

Tony Gallagher once suggested the Sedins were “country club types” who enjoyed “all the good things life has to offer here, and we’re not just talking the wine on charters and in house executive chef.” It was a strange and esoteric statement. Was he talking about forced backrubs? Oh man. He was, wasn’t he? We totally just cracked the case, you guys.

Oh man, you guys. Oh man.

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13 comments

  1. Nee
    March 4, 2013

    I was thinking how adorable this photo is until I read this:

    “elder Sedin’s oh-face”

    You ruined it Harrison. Photo ruined. I’m a female fan and I love Henrik, for his un-godly hockey abilities, but I just don’t want to think about him like that. GROSS, MAN : (

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  2. Carlo
    March 4, 2013

    Looks like Manny wants a piece of that. Lol!!!

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  3. Rituro
    March 4, 2013

    Hm, I dunno. I might need to see some sort of proof and/or diagram to prove this is a Keslurk. Still some ambiguity there…

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  4. Mt
    March 4, 2013

    If so, he’s not a tactically brilliant despot-of-a-captain. You can only demand so many massages before you tempt mutiny. Apparently he’s wasting one on his shoulder pads.

    Then again, maybe that a powerful assertion of his dominance. “I don’t care if I’m wearing pads, Kesler, massage them now!”

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  5. Cathylu
    March 4, 2013

    I want to say something but I just can’t find the words.

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    • chinook
      March 5, 2013

      umm, I’ll second that. And Harrison, you should please disregard most of what Tony Gallagher says. Even if it suits your purpose.

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  6. steveB
    March 4, 2013

    OK, I obviously need to see the 2013 edition of the Canucks Fan Cheat Sheet, as I cannot place the guy with the vacant expression standing beside Daniel.
    Who is it?

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    • May
      March 4, 2013

      That’s Cam Barker

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      • nick
        March 5, 2013

        And he’s doing what looks like his best Kyle Wellwood impression. It works better if you imagine he’s got a book propped on the back of Daniel’s shoulder.

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  7. TubaNat
    March 4, 2013

    While this is an amazing photo, I gotta say the Millionaires uniforms look good. Like, real good. As in money good (oho see what I did there)

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  8. BedBeats
    March 4, 2013

    Here is Kes patting Hanks butt after his record breaking night.:

    http://i45.tinypic.com/2w59bmq.jpg

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    • BedBeats
      March 4, 2013

      Y’know…just saying.

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  9. Phil McCracken
    March 5, 2013

    Is it possible that Henrik’s expression is from receiving a surprise package? His expression reminds me of one I saw on a girl I was dancing with. Hahaha.

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