New Van Fan, episode four: ‘The greatest’ (VIDEO)

New Van Fan is a web-series that follows the adventures of long-time Canucks fan Dan as he attempts to bring novice Canucks fan Andreas up to speed. The whole thing may or may not be an excuse to point out the inherent silliness of this fanbase — we’re not quite sure. Have an idea for an episode? Suggest it in the comments. 

The last time we saw Dan and Andreas, they were working on the finer points of Canucks fandom, such what Keslurking is and how to do it, and how best to deal with the all-consuming despair that comes attached to cheering for this team.

Since then, we’ve decided to add the web-series — which is short, light, and occasionally very clever — as a weekly feature. New “New Van Fan” episodes will debut on PITB on Mondays.

Hey, whaddya know? It’s Monday. So here’s the fourth episode of the show, in which a pop quiz over the greatest Canucks player of all-time leads, inevitably, to Dan and Andreas bickering over exactly who was the greatest Canuck of all-time.

After cycling through a number of lesser lights, including the legendary Jan Bulis, who deserves better to be sandwiched between John Garrett and Geoff Courtnall, Dan finally feeds Andreas a hint. “He was a key player in the ’94 Cup Run.”

“Oh, of course! Pavel Bure!” Andreas says.

“No! He hated playing here!”

“How does that make him not the greatest player?” Andreas asks, poignantly, because he hasn’t been cheering for this team long enough to stop questioning that old, baseless chestnut.

But Dan has. “Okay, rule number one: you have to love the city you play in to be that city’s greatest player!”

Safe to say that doesn’t make any sense, which poor, naive Andreas is foolish enough to point out. When Canucks fans are faced with things that don’t make sense, they tend to make messes, and Dan, expert Canucks fan, is experienced enough to immediately sweep a pile of magazine onto the floor. Another successful interaction between Canucks fans.

Anyway. They’re both wrong. It’s Henrik Sedin.

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7 comments

  1. Canucksgold
    February 25, 2013

    Hilarious. Made me laugh out loud because it”s only too true.

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    Rating: +5 (from 5 votes)
  2. Jacob
    February 25, 2013

    When Andreas said Messier I threw my laptop out the window.

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    Rating: +18 (from 18 votes)
  3. Abby
    February 25, 2013

    I think you guys got a subtle shout-out in this episode too.

    “Jan Bulis?”

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    Rating: +4 (from 4 votes)
  4. swizzler
    February 25, 2013

    Henrik Sedin is the best Canuck of all time, no doubt. But it’s not unreasonable to argue that he is a couple Stanley Cup Finals game 7 goals away from assuming the title of ‘greatest’?

    Henrik will be the greatest when he retires. However, at this point in time, even with the all-time points record, I don’t think he has earned that title yet.

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    Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
  5. RevTrev
    February 25, 2013

    It’s Pavel Bure! Most dynamic Canuck we have ever seen.
    I can’t stand it when people say it’s Trevor Linden. I like Linden but he’s not our greatest Canuck. Naslund was better than him.
    I could live with your suggestion of Henrik Sedin because he is something special and he broke the Canuck alltime points record and brought us to a Cup final and 2 President Trophies…oh yeah he won MVP (the Hart). Has any other Canuck did that?
    Okay so maybe it’s not Pavel but H.Sedin…but I miss watching Pavel fly down the ice and score highlight goals most nights.

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    Rating: +1 (from 3 votes)
  6. Taylor
    February 25, 2013

    My suggestion for an episode: THEORY AND CRITICISM

    Every canucks fan is a cynic at heart and knows in the back of their mind that sooner, or later, but eventually, the Canucks will fail. When that happens, and ideally well before (maybe even before the season starts) you need to have your theory of why the team will/is/did fail. It may be “a lack of a real, true, number one franchise defenceman” or “trying to platoon two really good goalies, neither of whom are great”, “Vigneault routinely gets out-coached”, “not enough talent on cheaper entry-level contracts”, “not enough scoring depth” or “Kesler tries to do it all himself”. It’s best to find your own, but if you are looking for some inspiration when first starting out, listen to the callers on the TEAM 1040.

    Similarly, but differently, you need to pick a whipping boy whom you will regularly single out for shortcomings. Some fans may want to pick a corresponding “golden boy” who is your can-do-no-wrong favourite, but it is not neccessary, especially if one’s theory for the canucks loss is “every one of them should be dealt, blow up the team.” My personal favourite is Mason Raymond for whipping, but popular picks also include Luongo, Bieksa, Ballard and Booth. For extra “before it was cool” hipster points, I suggest one of Kassian or Garrison.

    HAPPY HATING

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    Rating: +6 (from 6 votes)
    • NewVanFan
      February 25, 2013

      Ooh those are really good ideas! Thanks Taylor!

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