Nine days ago, we introduced you to “New Van Fan”, a web series in which Canuck booster “Dan” attempted to teach his buddy “Andreas” the ins and outs of cheering for Vancouver’s local hockey team.

But secretly, this show isn’t just for the noob. The first episode featured valuable advice even for the long-time Canucks booster. “Don’t panic,” Dan told Andreas. “You’re going to want to panic. Don’t panic.” It’s true. Keeping an even keel is difficult for anybody rooting for the boys in blue and green. Canucks fandom throws keels askew. It’s an irregular keel you’re looking for, cheer for this team.

Anyway. Since then, we watched episode one, Dan and Andreas have already starred in episodes two and three. This show is being burned through like the last episodes of an NBC sitcom the network no longer likes. So let’s catch up.

In episode 2, Dan teaches Andreas the ins and outs of interview bombing, a.k.a. Keslurking, the understanding of which is integral to enjoying the Vancouver Canucks. Andreas struggles to comprehend the concept. Comedy ensues.

“Wait? How do I steal the puck from you?”

“You just don’t.”

And in the third episode, unsurprisingly, Andreas deals with the unyielding despair to which he’s suddenly so susceptible.

“I’ll never love again!”

Poor Andreas. You can’t make sense of these things, and blaming the officiating and the coaches won’t make you feel any better by. Neither will calling for firings, breaking the windows of the Bay, or reading the smaller newspaper.

“I was going to tell you about ’94,” Dan says, “But now might not be the time.”