Throughout his brief tenure with the Vancouver Canucks, Zack Kassian has shown an impressive willingness to head to the net. It makes sense: he’s a big body, so he can take up a lot of daylight. Plus he has good hands in tight. The goalmouth is a good place for him to be.
Of course, occasionally, when you’re rushing the crease, you’re going to run into the guy that lives in there, and on Friday versus the Chicago Blackhawks, Kassian did exactly that. The result is this strange little photo.
Kassian and Crawford have that look that kittens have when they’ve been fighting in the dark and you turn on the light.
Looking at the photo, it’s weird that this encounter didn’t result in a penalty. I’m fairly certainly you can’t straddle and strangle the goaltender in the NHL. If you could, we’d probably see if more often as a form of intimidation. “Now you listen here, goalie. You’re gonna let me score and you’re gonna do it with a smile on your face. Otherwise: horse head in your bed.”
Speaking of horses, that’s another thing this photo sort of looks like:
Look at that majestic horse go. And you know it won’t stop, because Kassian has knives on his feet.
Finally, for me, the Kassian photo immediately brought to mind a rather infamous Batman squirt gun:
Never in my life have I wanted to pull a trigger less. And what an unfortunate location for a fill valve.
It still blows my mind that someone approved this, but if it happened once, it can happen again, so listen up, merchandisers: Kassian is popular right now, and a Zack Kasisan squirt gun might do quite well at the register. But this pose is not the one. Do you hear me? I said no. Bad merchandisers.Tags: I Find this Photo Odd