Mike Gillis says potential Luongo deal in place; 10 things that might actually mean

It went unnoticed by almost everybody, what with actual hockey being played all weekend, but for a brief moment, all was quiet on the Luongo trade front. It began the moment Tyler Bozak and Nazem Kadri scored a goal each in the Leafs’ opener and Canuck fans did the math, realized both were on pace for 48-goal seasons, and deduced that Toronto would never trade them now.

Suddenly, all that Funny Bob-to-Toronto chatter went silent. And then the Canucks crapped the bed, so there were more pressing things to speculate about, like whether Roberto Luongo should start the game he was always scheduled to start.

But on Monday night, the Luongo trade frenzy picked right back up when, in an interview with Cam Cole of Pass it to Bulis (and sometimes The Vancouver Sun), Mike Gillis suggested that the team was making some progress in bringing this saga to a close.

“We have a potential deal in place with one team that has to do something with another player that they have — and it’s not who anybody thinks it is — and so we have to wait,” Gillis said.

Immediately, people began to wonder who this mystery team could be. Might it be… Mystery Team?

Or maybe it’s not a team at all. Some pointed out that it’s possible that Mike Gillis wasn’t referring to a mystery team, but a mystery player on a team that’s already been bandied about some. Sidney Crosby?!!?!!

Others still pointed out that Gillis might not be referring to an actual potential deal, but the potential deal he’s hoping to create by suggesting there’s a potential deal in place. In effect, he might not be telling the whole truth.

There are many interpretations of what Gillis said, and what he meant, and using the official Mike Gillis translator, we have generated 10. Again, the statement is as follows:

We have a potential deal in place with one team that has to do something with another player that they have — and it’s not who anybody thinks it is — and so we have to wait.

And now, 10 translations:

1 | We have a potential deal in place, but it’s years down the road, and so we have to wait.

2 | We have a deal in place, although nobody else does and it would be helpful if someone agreed to it.

3 | We don’t have a potential deal in place, but we’d like to, so I’m going to lie and say we do so that the marginally interested teams will start making panic offers.

4 | We have a potential deal in place with one team. This team doesn’t know about it yet. We’re waiting for the right time to tell them.

5 | We have a potential deal in place with one team that has do something with another player that they have, which is agree to trade that player to us even though they don’t want to.

6 | We have a potential deal in place, and by potential, I mean pretend, and by in place, I mean scribbled over and over in the pages of my diary.

7 | We have a potential deal in place with one team that has to do something with another player that they have — and it’s not who anybody thinks it is. At some point, this player was human, but he has since had his body taken over by a malevolent being. It’s no longer who anybody thinks it is. As soon as this heinous, heinous thing — whatever it is — is killed, there should be an opening in goal… It’s Ilya Bryzgalov. I’ve said too much.

8 | We have a potential deal in place. We don’t actually have a potential deal in place, but dammit Cam, I just like the way your moustache curls when you smile.

9 | We have a potential deal in place with one team that has to do something with another player that they have, which is get him to beg Luongo to waive his no-trade clause so they can be traded for one another.

10 | We don’t have a deal in place.

Tags: , , ,

15 comments

  1. DanD
    January 22, 2013

    I think numbers 4 and 7 are the most plausible. I’m going to go ahead and tweet them like they’re true. Don’t worry, I’ll give you guys all the credit as my “source” :)

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +14 (from 14 votes)
  2. Bryn
    January 22, 2013

    Best. Post. Ever. DGB-level quality.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +5 (from 5 votes)
    • yoata
      January 22, 2013

      Even better, true hilaroty.

      VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
      Rating: 0 (from 6 votes)
  3. Aaron
    January 22, 2013

    Well thank you for the translation because now im only unsure what he ment when before I was confused!! Very entertaining article though.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +1 (from 3 votes)
  4. Warpstone
    January 22, 2013

    They have an NHL team now in Mystery, Alaska?

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +9 (from 11 votes)
  5. steveB
    January 22, 2013

    Some pointed out that it’s possible that Mike Gillis wasn’t referring to a mystery team, but a mystery player on a team that’s already been bandied about some. Sidney Crosby?!!?!!

    Yeah, I think I’m OK with that- strombone1 for Zidney Krosbi.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: 0 (from 2 votes)
  6. Nancy
    January 22, 2013

    I’ll go with #6. : )

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  7. akidd
    January 22, 2013

    “and it’s not who anybody thinks it is ”

    so philly’s not trading bryzgalov to the leafs for komsarek and sending schenn and picks here for lou, booth and ballard then. rats.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  8. Cr
    January 22, 2013

    Suban is coming! Just announced!

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  9. Gostrider1174
    January 23, 2013

    Its not any of the above. Gillis has always been delusional and theres no deal in place. When has any Gm came out and said we have a deal in place before it happened. NEVER

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: -1 (from 1 vote)
  10. Rituro
    January 23, 2013

    Typo alert on #5: “…with one team that has do so something with…”

    Other than that, fine stuff as always. I wonder what would happen if you ran the “Gillis Translator” in parallel with the “What-If Machine”?

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  11. willy
    January 23, 2013

    I’m not really sure what Gilles means. However I am very sure that what we see is not a general manager, but the valadictorian of an amatuer drama class.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: -1 (from 1 vote)
  12. Rachael
    January 23, 2013

    Poor Ilya Bryzgalov.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  13. TeeJay
    January 24, 2013

    We’ll Lou prefer it to be FLORIDA .maynot be the Panthers maybe TampaBay Lightning.

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)
  14. Fruzenius
    January 24, 2013

    #8 made me laugh a lot

    VA:F [1.9.16_1159]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)