Talking heads stop making sense in Roberto Luongo trade speculation

If you’ve been easing yourself back into Canucks coverage, there’s a good possibility you’ve missed something amidst the batcrap insanity that this Roberto Luongo storyline has managed to become. Yes, we’ve only been back since Sunday, but there have already been so many developments in this Snakes-and-Ladders saga that keeping track of everything is next to impossible.

It began the moment the new CBA was announced. Immediately, hockey fans and media washed their hands of that unfortunate diversion and picked right back up where we left off: speculating tirelessly on Roberto Luongo’s next destination. And I do mean tirelessly. We’ve heard a lot about the soon-to-be-announced compressed schedule, but the real story of this week has been the compressed baseless speculation. In what can only be interpreted as a collective bid by the hockey world to make up for lost wasted time, these last five days have been like an episode of American Horror Story: flashbacks; flash forwards; nuns possessed by Satan; Nazi doctors; a murderer that wears a mask made of human skin; Adam Levine; aliens; zombies; a psychotic Santa; a woman that thinks she’s Anne Frank.

All of these things and Tyler Bozak have been rumoured to be part of a package for Luongo.

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‘Trade Luongo’, says massive sign outside Surrey Pub

After the NHL’s second lengthy lockout in seven years and third consecutive failed stab at getting a deal done before they had to start cancelling games, many are wondering what impact this latest stoppage is going to have on the hockey fanbase. Since the announcement of the new CBA, every interview I’ve done — either formal or informal — has included some form of the question “Will there be a backlash?”

Maybe, but I doubt it. Outspoken as fans have been, locked-out NHL fans are not unlike crying babies. Put a boob in their mouth — in this case, that boob is hockey — and they’ll be quietly suckling in no time. It’s been my estimation all the way along that the fans will just continue on as they were, as though the lockout was little more than Zack Morris calling a time out and freezing everyone in place. The moment he says “Time in,” everybody just picks up where the left off, a little confused and nothing more.

Canuck fans especially. I would like to submit the following as evidence:

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What would a 48-game season have meant for the 2011-12 Canucks?

While nothing has been confirmed officially, by all accounts the NHL season will be starting on January 19th and will last for 48 games. This was, apparently, the shortest season that the NHL would have considered, which makes it awfully convenient that a new CBA deal was reached just in time for a 48-game season to occur.

Setting aside what has brought us to this point for the moment, what does it mean to have 48 games rather than 82? For starters, each game becomes nearly twice as important. Approximately 1.95 times more important, to be a little more specific. To help you visualize a 48-game season, each team plays 48-50 games before the All-Star break in a normal season.

To give you some idea of how a 48-game season changes things, I looked at what it would have meant for last season.

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Brian Burke fired as Leafs GM: this (might) change everything

In what can only be described as a flabbergastingly shocking move, the Toronto Maple Leafs have fired Brian Burke as their General Manager. Go ahead, try to describe it as anything else. I’ll wait.

What’s truly bizarre is that they waited this long to make the move, firing Burke after he played an instrumental role representing the Leafs in the CBA negotiations and just before training camp is set to open. If Leafs ownership were unhappy with the results from the past few seasons (and why wouldn’t they be), then why allow Burke to work through the free agency period, putting his stamp on the team for another season?

Unless, and this is pure, rampant speculation, this has something to do with Roberto Luongo?

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