Spitballin’ on the flying skate logo, newly locked-out Canucks, and Kevin Bieksa dressed as an elf

Spitballin’ (or Super Pass ITBulis: All In, if you love adventurous acronymizing) is a feature that allows us to touch on a multitude of things really fast, because in the world of hockey, there are always lots of things to find and colour. Here are a few quick topics.

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Flying Skate the 8th-worst NHL logo of all-time?

The four-plus decades of the Vancouver Canucks have yielded some truly hideous gear. Honestly, if I were to read a countdown of the 100 ugliest hockey sweaters in the history of the game, it wouldn’t surprise me to see two Canucks jerseys make the top 10. Few franchises do ugly like the Canucks.

But dammit, the flying skate (or, as Greg Wyshynski recently called it, “the electric skate”, which sounds like a Muppet rock band) was not that ugly. Consider us, therefore, outraged that it landed at number 8 on Icethetics’ list of the 10 ugliest NHL logos of all time.

Here’s Doug Lidster sporting the logo as he yells at Mick McGeough in 1993:

Sure, it sort of looked like a plate of spaghetti, or a waffle iron, or the Millennium Falcon entering hyperspace. Sure, it made things easy for the smartasses, what with how it was pointed downhill just like the team har har har. But the flying skate was great. It harkened to Vancouver’s grand history of neon. Plus, they were wearing it in 1994, and nothing from 1994 can be bad.

For proof of how not ugly it is, compare it to the logos that sandwiched the flying skate on the list at 9th and 7th:

That’s right. Icethetics thinks the Canucks logo falls between the bird using his hockey stick as a hot roller and the albino guy from the Da Vinci code movie wearing an upside-down boxing glove on his head. I think not.

Step your game up, Icethetics.

A Christmas with no Sedins is hardly a Vancouver Christmas at all

Dan Mangan has released a holiday tune titled “A Very Vancouver Christmas”, touching on everything from the general lack of snow to bike lanes to hot yoga. Essential Vancouverisms. But, of course, no list of essential Vancouverisms is complete without a mention of the Canucks, and unfortunately, this year Christmas will be without them. So Mangan sings about that instead:

Usually, there’s hockey to keep our spirits keen. Where are you, Trevor Linden? Where are the twins Sedin!?

This song toes the line between absolutely awful and absolutely perfect, especially Mangan’s falsetto climax towards the end. Worst/best.

True fact: I met Dan Mangan at the Road Hockey to Conquer Cancer launch event last spring and I had no idea who he was. This was well after he’d signed with the Arts & Crafts label, been shortlisted for a Polaris Music Prize and been nominated for two Juno awards. Like a dope, I asked him what he did for a living. “I’m a musician,” he said, and I said “Oh,” in that dismissive way that you say it when you assume “I’m a musician” means “I’m unemployed”.

A year later, after learning who he was and getting into his music, I saw this photo, realized I had met him, then realized what an idiot I was. A big, big idiot.

A final note on David Booth

We’re done with the David Booth debate for now, but there’s a misconception floating around that still needs to be cleared up. He never said that women can’t be president because they’re too busy shopping.

Well, he did, I guess. Here’s the tweet:

 

However, he wasn’t just spouting off because he’s a weirdly sexist moron with no filter. Booth was making a reference to an interview between Ali G and Newt Gingrich, hence the #AskNewt hashtag in Booth’s tweet. But the reference was a little too veiled and, of course, considering what people think of him, there was no way he was getting the benefit of the doubt on this one.

But just so we’re all clear: it was little more than a botched reference to a show he likes. It happens. That’s how they got Guy Serota, too.

Good news: Only one Canuck remains lockout-proof

Turning our attention to actual hockey news: two of the three injured Canucks have been cleared for duty, as Alex Edler and Jason Garrison, who were rehabbing back and groin issues, respectively, were given something resembling a clean bill of health this week.

The Edler news was only sort of good, as he admitted that he’ll probably never be 100 per cent again — that his back may always be sore — but that’s okay, because “I wasn’t 100 per cent last year, either,” Edler said, “and I played all 82 games.” (I feel like an appeal last season might not be the best idea. The Canucks may have won the Presidents’ Trophy, and Edler may have been an NHL All-Star for the first time, but a lot of Canuck fans still have a sour taste in their mouths over his play and the entire the 2011-12 campaign.)

Like Edler, Garrison’s injury was a recurring thing, but it wasn’t in his back. It was in the groin region. “Things were torn up there,” Garrison said to Iain MacIntyre (whom we assume responded, “Whoa, T.M.I, pal”). But a trip to a local physiotherapist has Garrison feeling better, and he too can finally stop getting paid to sit around and start sitting around for free.

But don’t think either guy would rather be hurt and immune to the lockout, collecting their millions. After all, unlike us, they’re used to receiving millions of dollars. They’re tired of it.

“I think any guy would rather be healthy,” said Garrison. Sure, buddy.

Ryan Kesler remains on the injured list, and is either months away if you listen to Kurt Overhardt and Ben Kuzma cackling to themselves in the corner, or will be back soon after the season starts if you listen to the Canucks management and doctors.

Here’s Kevin Bieksa dressed as an elf again

Kevin Bieksa first donned the Buddy the Elf costume for Halloween 2011. Then, earlier this week, we learned that he still has it, as the Canuck defender tweeted a picture wearing the costume again. (The caption with the photo: “Call me Elf one more time!!!”  Get it? Because he’s wearing the costume a second time and also because it’s what Peter Dinklage says in the movie? Clever guy, that Bieksa.)

So why is Bieksa recycling Halloween costumes? We have two theories. Theory 1: the NHL lockout has him so strapped for cash, he couldn’t afford to buy a new getup for the costume party. Theory 2: It was laundry day.

3 comments

  1. Andrew
    December 21, 2012

    “…the albino guy from the Da Vinci code movie wearing an upside-down boxing glove on his head.” WHAT HAS BEEN SEEN CANNOT BE UNSEEN.

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  2. cathylu
    December 21, 2012

    Bieksa-Buddy the Elf = Hahahahaha!! I love it – made my day. The curly wig/hat is amazing!!

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    Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
  3. Nee
    December 21, 2012

    This is an outrage. That Canucks spaghetti logo is 80′s awesome.

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    Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)