Unreal Canucks Gif Tournament: ‘Superman Punch’ vs. ‘Bieksa spins right round (like a record)’

Introducing the Unreal Canucks GIF Tournament, a quest to determine which Canucks GIF is the greatest in existence. We’ve narrowed it down to 32 candidates, divided into four divisions then seeded, one through eight. Now we need your help. An important note: this isn’t just something to do while the players and the owners waste time bickering over who should get what’s left of the money they’re burning — it’s also a super-important initiative. After all, if we don’t do this, how else will we know? AND WE MUST KNOW.

UNREAL CANUCKS GIF TOURNAMENT — FIRST ROUND, BIEKSA DIVISION

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(4) We call this gif SUPERMAN PUNCH.

A superman punch is a martial arts move wherein the fighter essentially leaps into a single punch, putting as much of his or her body weight into that punch as is humanly possible. It’s an incredibly risky maneuver because it opens you up very easily to a counter. It shouldn’t work in a hockey fight, because it usually requires the fighter to first feint a leg kick, then throw that leg backwards in order to power the punch. Without the kick, the punch shouldn’t work. But since Mike Richards is clearly not expecting Bieksa to jump at him, it works perfectly, ending the fight just as it begins.

All that is to say, holy crap, Bieksa totally punched that guy in the face!

(5) We call this gif BIEKSA SPINS RIGHT ROUND (LIKE A RECORD)

This gif is the tragedy of the tournament and I mean that in the classic literary sense. Bieksa is the noble hero with grand ambitions and quiet dignity. Though there is humour, this gif is not a comedy, for in the humour we see a lone individual brought low and, within the tragic flaw of said individual (that he is unable to see a puck that is RIGHT THERE IT’S RIGHT THERE WHY CAN’T YOU SEE IT) we see our own limitations. In the end, all is lost, but a greater understanding of ourselves is gained.

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OKAY. Now let’s vote.

 

Voting closes at midnight.

WINNER — SUPERMAN PUNCH (73.67%)

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5 comments

  1. StevenK
    December 11, 2012

    Can we all just agree that Like a Record is a better gif, but, as a biased Canucks audience we’re all going to vote for Superman Punch to make ourselves feel better?

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    • Julia
      December 11, 2012

      That is exactly the thought that went through my head as I voted.

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      • pooroldbearandelkandducksandunicorn
        December 11, 2012

        Actually, I think the superman punch is the better anigif – it`s just got a more cyclic, hypnotic quality to it. The other one is a nice few moments of hockey (well, for the other guys), but it takes a few iterations to work out what is happening, & it`s long & features lots of players. Interesting: the superman punch is actually better as an anigif than in video, because the blurring on the hands and feet makes it really look like a comic book panel at any given moment.

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    • Nee
      December 11, 2012

      Hehe, that is so true…

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  2. akidd
    December 11, 2012

    just couldn’t vote for a punch in the face. just like i couldn’t order one in a restaurant. if it was brought to my table by mistake i might not send it back but i couldn’t order it.

    not too prudish to vote for a burrows making fun of richards with ‘snow’ gif though, if one should exist. can’t let those opportunist kings get away scot-free after all.

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