Originally published on October 31, 2011, this list of last-minute Canucks Halloween costumes holds up remarkably well a year later. It’s also just as useful. Let’s face it: not everyone is as well-prepared for Halloween as Dan “Community Man” Hamhuis, whose adorable Winnie the Pooh costume from several years ago is simply too much cute for most people to handle.
The rest of us, who are half the man Hamhuis is or, in the case of the women, none of the man Hamhuis is, have likely left our Halloween costume ideas to the last minute. While most of the last-minute NHL-themed costumes out there this Halloween will simply involve a team jersey with a picture of a lock over the logo, Pass it to Bulis is here to provide you with some more creative options.
It is a little alarming how many of those options involve shaving your head, however.
Today is October 31st, which means it’s time for the greatest costume-themed holiday of the year: Halloween! If you don’t have a costume yet, you might be in trouble. You don’t want to be one of those lame people who shows up at a party without a costume, or worse, a nametag with someone else’s name on it or a t-shirt that says “This is my costume.” But, because you’re either lazy or forgetful, you don’t have a lot of time to put a costume together.
Since you’re reading Pass it to Bulis, I’m going to assume a couple things about you: you are a refined person with great taste and you are a Canucks fan. You’re going to need to leave your taste behind temporarily – you don’t have time for it – but since you are a Canucks fan, we’ve created some ideas for last-minute Canucks-themed Halloween costumes.
- Cut some headstones out of grey construction paper. Write the names of former Canuck netminders on them and tape them to a black shirt. You are now a Goalie Graveyard.
- Grab blue jeans, hoodie, Canucks jersey, a pair of dress pants, and a backpack full of matchbox cars, lighter fluid, and a lighter. Wear the blue jeans, hoodie, Canucks jersey, and backpack. Carry the dress pants in your hand. From time to time take a matchbox car out of your backpack, flip it, and light it on fire. If people can’t figure out who you are, tell them that neither can the Vancouver Police Department.
- Shave your head. Snag a pair of fairy wings from a female friend or Value Village. Smile disconcertingly. You are now a Moment of Pure Bulis.
- Borrow a jaunty chapeau from a fashionable friend. Wrap your limbs with tensor bandages and carry an icepack. You are now Sami Salo. Add a cape made from a bath towel and cut a couple holes in a strip of fabric for a mask for extra PITB credit.
- Strip naked. Lean against a block of ice. Naked Kesler costume complete.
- Print out a picture of Ryan Kesler’s face, mount it on cardboard and attach it to your back so Kesler is peering over your shoulder. Instant Keslurk.
- Want to be Mason Raymond? Go to a party and constantly circle around the perimeter of the room. If anyone stops you to make conversation, talk solely about how much you like cereal. If you happen to have a cowboy hat, perfect.
- Find a doghouse. Write “AV” over the door. Go into it. You are now Keith Ballard.
- Make an orange goatee out of construction paper. Get a punching puppet and put a tiny Boston Bruins jersey on it. Jab yourself in the head with it throughout the evening. You are now Daniel Sedin.
- Make a black goatee out of construction paper. Spend the evening in the kitchen, helping. You are now Dan “Community Man” Hamhuis.
- Shave your head. Hang out by the chips. Every time someone reaches for one, block their arm with your body and bat the chip behind you. You are now Manny Malhotra in the defensive zone.
- Don’t sleep for weeks. Call the Team 1040 and let them try to guess what you want for ten minutes. Then call a friend and invite him to the party. Then, six minutes after he arrives, tell him he’s been traded to a party in Florida. You are now Mike Gillis.
- Miss the party to go to the Roxy. You are now Shane O’Brien.
- Dye your hair orange. You are now 75% of the Canucks’ roster.
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