Spitballin’ on Dale Weise’s six-point game, Skyfall, and fake season shenanigans

Spitballin’ (or Super Pass ITBulis: All In, if you love adventurous acronymizing) is a feature that allows us to touch on a multitude of things really fast, because in the world of hockey, there are always lots of things to find and colour. Here are a few quick topics.

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Skyfall, Canucks edition

Critics are saying that Skyfall, the 23rd instalment in the James Bond film franchise (or 24th, if you count the non-canon Never Say Never Again), is the best Bond movie yet. As a full-blown Bondie, I can only hope so. But I have similar hopes for the 43rd edition of the Vancouver Canucks, and I’m not the only one who sees a parallel here. Leave it to pumpup-video guru Bhavin Solanki to pair the two franchises in his latest. Behold:

“Some men are coming to kill us,” Bond says, as we cut to the Canucks getting dressed, “we’re going to kill them first.” Obviously, the suggestion that you have to end the lives of your opponents might send a chill down Brendan Shanahan’s spine, especially since he has granted zero Canucks a license to kill, but hopefully their flawless execution is on the powerplay.

I especially like the implication that the 2011-12 season is analogous to the clustercuss that was Quantum of Solace. That’s pretty much true.

Dale Weise is Holland’s greatest playmaker

Yesterday, we checked in on Dale Weise, who is currently testing out superstardom as a winger for the Destil Trappers of the Dutch league. Here’s a photo of him at the bench:

In his first game, Weise scored a goal 34 seconds into his first shift. So what would the Eric Lindros of Holland do for an encore?

Score at will. Weise had 1 goal and 5 assists in the Trappers’ 10-3 rout over Eindhoven Kemphanen, proving himself to be not only the Eric Lindros of the Netherlands, but also Holland’s Henrik Sedin.

I feel like, after registering five assists, even Dale Weise might be able to stop, reflect, and realize he’s got it a little too easy.

Dear Canucks: please go to Europe

Cory Schneider’s agent Mike Liut told News 1130 yesterday that the Canucks’ netminder would start thinking about heading to Europe next week if there was no new CBA in place by then. He probably won’t be the only one. Can I just say how in favour of this I am?

Now, the ideal scenario is for the lockout to end so we can start covering Canucks games and whatnot, but the fact that Dale Weise is the only Canuck having adventures in Europe is ridiculous. Other teams are just rolling in European vacation content. Meanwhile, we’re stuck talking about Weise’s stint in a league that celebrates him as the best talent they’ve ever seen and plays games on a rink that has curling sheets painted on it. Yes please, Cory, go to Europe.

Roberto Luongo is hilarious

We turn our attention briefly to baseball, where Alex Rodriguez’s time with the New York Yankees appears to have reached its end. Rodriguez was benched in the Yankees’ American League Championship Series with the Detroit Tigers. Now there are rumours that he and his expensive contract that last until the end of time might be traded to Florida.

Sound familiar? Roberto Luongo thought so too:

Flawless victory for Funny Bob.

Checking in on Wyatt Arndt’s fake season

Speaking of Luongo, while he sits around and waits for the Canucks’ 2012-13 season so start so he can get traded from it, he was also a good enough sport to take an interview for the fake season Wyatt Arndt is running at the Legion of Blog. Great get here by Wyatt, who elicits some quality stuff from Luongo, especially regarding fake nemesis Eddie Lack.

Best moment: when Arndt asks who would be better playing with his equipment on the wrong hand, Luongo responds, “I roomed with Eddie a few years ago, and let me tell you, he can play with both of his hands, from what I saw.” That’s funny, but the look on Luongo’s face after he delivers the joke is even funnier. He’s like, Holy crap, I nailed it!

More fake season shenanigans

You have to give credit to both Lack and Luongo, who have been chirping each other over Twitter about the fake season since it began. They’ve really gotten into it. But one guy that hasn’t: Calgary Flames’ GM Jay Feaster, who somehow caught wind of the running gag (perhaps because the Province has run stories on it) and, well, gagged. Not long after the Canucks played the Flames in the fake opener, Feaster visited the Lower Mainland to watch the Abbotsford Heat play the Chicago Wolves and, amidst rumours that fake Roberto Luongo was going to be traded to the video game version of his team, he made it clear that he would have no part in the shenanigans. Vancouver media members were actually told up front — I’m not making this up — that he will absolutely not under any circumstances answers questions about the fake season.

But, while Feaster hasn’t gotten into the spirit, the fine folks of Columbus certainly have. A local bar in the area showed a video game simulation of the cancelled Canucks/Blue Jackets tilt like it was a real game, and the members of the Blue Jackets radio and television broadcast showed up to call the game. Heck, even the anthem singer was there. Of course, it wouldn’t be a party at a Blue Jackets bar without crippling disappointment, so the Canucks won.

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7 comments

  1. cathylu
    October 24, 2012

    Looking forward to Skyfall and the Canucks season. I know I’ll get to see the former but not sure about the latter. :( *sad face* I really wish we would get some good news today or tomorrow.

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  2. Adam Nowek
    October 25, 2012

    FYI: Tilburg is not in Holland, it is in the Netherlands. Holland is two provinces (of which Amsterdam, Rotterdam, and Den Haag are a part): Tilburg is in Noord-Brabant, which is not a Holland.

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    • Rituro
      October 26, 2012

      Free geography lessons? Awesome. That’s why I love this site.

      “PITB: We know who needs the puck and the difference between Holland and the Netherlands.”

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      • Harrison Mooney
        October 26, 2012

        Wow, lesson learned. Turns out I am teh foolz.

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  3. the real bob
    October 25, 2012

    If Dale Weise is the Lindros of Holland, then (if he goes) will Alberts be the Pronger?

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  4. Snepsts
    October 30, 2012

    Everyone in Holland and from Holland calls the Netherlands “Holland” so chill out.

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    • Adam Nowek
      October 30, 2012

      Only when we’re talking about Oranje, pal.

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