Bieksa’s Buddies roster includes Michael Buble on a line with the Sedins, ghost of Gump Worsley

The Bieksa’s Buddies charity game goes Wednesday night at 7pm at the Doug Mitchell Thunderbird Sports Centre at UBC. We’ll be there. So will Cathy Miller, who won our ticket giveaway. And, thanks to Wacey Hamilton, brother of UBC player Wyatt Hamilton, we’ve finally got some insight into who else will be in the house.

Bieksa has been hinting for weeks that there would be some surprises among the cast of characters that round out his team, and he wasn’t kidding. Here’s your full roster:

Now, I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest that the Bure, Lapierre, Messier line is a joke. Additionally, I don’t think Jim Vandermeer will be on a defensive pairing with Harry Potter. Furthermore, Bieksa has already gone on record as saying that they don’t need more than one goaltender, which is likely why the ghost of Gump Worsley gets the backup nod.

I’m sure Schneider will relish the opportunity to have nobody breathing down his neck for the job.

But the rest of this lineup is real. Poncho-wearer Michael Buble will indeed be playing the role of Alex Burrows as the Sedins’ right winger. That’s not a joke. And Bieksa has chosen to break up his reliable pairing with Dan Hamhuis so that he can play with his brother Marty.

As a consolation prize, Hamhuis will have to play with former 90210 star Jason Priestley.

Speaking of familial duos, Manny Malhotra’s brother-in-law, Martin Nash, will play right wing on the third line. Think he’s as good at hockey as Malhotra is at soccer? I don’t. On the bright side, they’ll be playing with Kelowna-born actor Taylor Kitsch, so Nash likely won’t be the worst part of that line. I suspect that Kitsch is there for protection. If the team is beset by outer space monsters, John Carter’s got them covered.

Edit: I have been informed that Kitsch is a former junior A player. John Carter’s got skills, yo.

Hamilton was also kind enough to give us some insight into the keys of the game for the UBC side. They are as follows:

Good call on spearing Buble in the throat. Remind him he’s playing with the big boys now. Toughen him up. Same goes for chirping Priestley about 90210.

If chirping the former Brandon Walsh is the plan, I recommend asking him about that time he got drugged by Emily Valentine. That was an ordeal, hey Priestley?

Asking the Sedins about their frequent visits to Ikea seems foolish. It’s guaranteed to light a fire under them, and giving them time and space afterward just seems like a bad idea. Who’s running this team, the Edmonton Oilers’ front office?

Finding out who Pelly is? That’s a must.

And, of course, making sure the flow is goin’ is just a key to life.

16 comments

  1. natevk
    October 17, 2012

    I’m pretty sure those are the UBC guys’ keys to the game….

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    • natevk
      October 17, 2012

      Well now that you’ve edited it this comment seems completely misdirected…

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      • Harrison Mooney
        October 17, 2012

        No kidding. Thanks for the heads up. I wrote this too quickly.

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  2. Nee
    October 17, 2012

    This game is going to be a hot mess…I’m looking forward to it. : )

    Anybody else planning to wear their jersey?

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  3. The wombat
    October 17, 2012

    Pelly could be Rodney Pelley of the Ducks.. BC resident.

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  4. May
    October 17, 2012

    Could “Pelly” be Rod Pelley from the Ducks? I just read a Province article that said he was at a UBC skate.

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  5. Martie
    October 17, 2012

    I was wondering about the jersey as well. Is it unfaithful to wear a Canuck one or better to put on my Olympic Canada one? Also can we sing “You’ll Nerver Walk Alone” in support like the Liverpool fans do before, during and after games?

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    • Nee
      October 17, 2012

      From comments I’ve seen on twitter, it looks like people are planning to wear their jersey, Canucks or other.

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  6. peanutflower
    October 17, 2012

    Dang, I wish I was going. It will probably be hilarious. Anything Bieksa gets to organize is hilarious. Can someone facetime it for us over in Victoria? Come on….. please?

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    • peanutflower
      October 17, 2012

      Wifi is free…

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  7. bigadventure
    October 17, 2012

    I saw a Sedin at Ikea just this past weekend. Not sure which one. Nevertheless, I got a chuckle out of it.

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  8. Allie
    October 17, 2012

    Maybe this means Mitchell (remember he’s here too) is dressing up as Potter ?? Early Halloween… #whynotapickle

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  9. Angle of Darkness
    October 17, 2012

    I’m surprised no local station is putting this on TV. Not many tix available and I have nothing better to do tonight… sad.

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  10. John in Marpole
    October 17, 2012

    Calling Priestley out on 90210 may not work all that well since he is presently the title character in the outstanding series ‘Call Me Fitz” which wipes out, for me, all of the bad vibes of 90210. His character in ‘Fitz’ is nothing like the one in the old show.

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1558182/

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  11. VanFan85
    October 17, 2012

    ‘Asking the Sedins about their frequent visits to Ikea seems foolish. It’s guaranteed to light a fire under them, and giving them time and space afterward just seems like a bad idea. Who’s running this team, the Edmonton Oilers’ front office?’

    I just spat coffee all over my desk and my coworkers are looking at me strangely as I am laughing histatically. Thank PITB you just made my day!

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  12. sarah
    October 17, 2012

    Taylor Kitch better be wearing #33. I don’t care that it belongs to Hank, it must happen.

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