By now, it should be perfectly clear that David Booth doesn’t care what you think. Well, he sort of does. I mean, the other day, he sullenly tweeted, “Every time I tweet I lose followers”, but when several responses explaining the phenomenon came back to him — stop tweeting photos of things you done killed, bro — he chose not to change his spots, like a leopard (and then he probably killed a leopard).
On Thursday, Booth successfully ended the life of yet another beast and saw fit to share it with his squeamish audience. That’s what you’re looking at above.
But what the heck is what you’re looking at? As Roberto Luongo tweeted in response, “Ok NOW you are just making up animals no?” Is that a goat of some kind? A four-legged Appalachian Fearsquatch, as Justin Bourne suggested? The Forest Spirit from Princess Mononoke?
The species of the dead thing above may be unclear, but one thing does seem clear: with so much time on his hands, David Booth has grown weary of hunting things that exist and crossed over in the realms of lore. “There’s only one trophy in the world harder to get than this… And I’m getting that next,” said Booth, ominously. Lock up your fictional characters, people, because David Booth will be trying to kill them for as long as the lockout endures. What follows is a preview of what we can expect Booth to tweet in the months to come:
Yoshi seems content with his death. Maybe he’s been wanting this for a long time.
It’s official. David Booth hates Christmas. Rudolph seems surprisingly okay with the death of The Abominable Snowman. I think he may be a sociopath. This is sheer brilliance by Derek Miller.
Some quality subtle photoshopping here as Sachi Wick just nonchalantly slides a dead unicorn into the background of the photo.
Tessa Clayton gives us David Booth taking down one of the things from Tremors.
And you thought Mitt Romney was the only menace stalking Sesame Street. Poor Snuffleupagus was just in the wrong place and the wrong time. But isn’t Booth going to feel silly when he learns that Snuffy is two dudes in a suit.
An unfortunate end for a wild thing. This was not the way Maurice Sendak wrote it.
Another monster bites the dust. Sulley meets his end as Mike looks on in horror.
Moby Dick may have taken the life of Captain Ahab (spoiler alert), but David Booth is a skilled hunter. Also, he had the good fortune of encountering the great white whale on land. That was a distinct advantage.
Rest easy, Al Gore. ManBearPig has finally been brought to justice.
Considering the Lorax’s beliefs and how they likely differ from Booth’s, I think you could argue this is a killing with motive. Someone ask those Sneetches if they saw anything.
Adam Mackay-Smith gives us Booth ending the life of Jabba the Hutt. Now seems as good a time as any to ask how, exactly, you can choke Jabba the Hutt. He’s a terrestrial gastropod. He has a pneumostome, not a windpipe. This is the most unbelievable thing about the Star Wars universe.
I don’t feel too bad about this one. The Grimace, who represents both the ambiguity and the purpleness of purple drank, is a menace and he had to be stopped.
Mike Haire gives us the death of a giant baby jackalope. Somewhere, Dave Coulier weeps.
That’s not pizza sauce, you guys. This is just a really graphic photo. Thanks to Adam Mackay-Smith for this one.
And Yo Gabba Gabba! is down a character. Poor Toodee should have known better than to cross David Booth. Meanwhile, Gooble mourns her. But that creepy thing mourns everything.
The neverending story finally ends for Falcor the Luckdragon. Tough luck, Falcor.
And thus ends the rampage of Crocosaurus. Somewhere, Megashark sheds a single tear. Then eats an airplane.
Kids everywhere weep as David Booth finally takes down Clifford the Big Red Dog.
Wherein David Booth enters the Final Fantasy universe and fells a chocobo.
“It was Booth that killed the Beast.” – Carl Denham
The planet of Tattooine has one less Bantha. Oh great, said one Tusken Raider, now I’m gonna have to walk.
Hey, remember Alf? David Booth does. And he killed him.Tags: booth controversies, david booth, photoshop, Questionable Comedic Content