David Booth kills the Forest Spirit, and other creatures of myth

By now, it should be perfectly clear that David Booth doesn’t care what you think. Well, he sort of does. I mean, the other day, he sullenly tweeted, “Every time I tweet I lose followers”, but when several responses explaining the phenomenon came back to him — stop tweeting photos of things you done killed, bro — he chose not to change his spots, like a leopard (and then he probably killed a leopard).

On Thursday, Booth successfully ended the life of yet another beast and saw fit to share it with his squeamish audience. That’s what you’re looking at above.

But what the heck is what you’re looking at? As Roberto Luongo tweeted in response, “Ok NOW you are just making up animals no?” Is that a goat of some kind? A four-legged Appalachian Fearsquatch, as Justin Bourne suggested? The Forest Spirit from Princess Mononoke?

The species of the dead thing above may be unclear, but one thing does seem clear: with so much time on his hands, David Booth has grown weary of hunting things that exist and crossed over in the realms of lore. “There’s only one trophy in the world harder to get than this… And I’m getting that next,” said Booth, ominously. Lock up your fictional characters, people, because David Booth will be trying to kill them for as long as the lockout endures. What follows is a preview of what we can expect Booth to tweet in the months to come:

Yoshi seems content with his death. Maybe he’s been wanting this for a long time.

It’s official. David Booth hates Christmas. Rudolph seems surprisingly okay with the death of The Abominable Snowman. I think he may be a sociopath. This is sheer brilliance by Derek Miller.

Some quality subtle photoshopping here as Sachi Wick just nonchalantly slides a dead unicorn into the background of the photo.

Tessa Clayton gives us David Booth taking down one of the things from Tremors.

And you thought Mitt Romney was the only menace stalking Sesame Street. Poor Snuffleupagus was just in the wrong place and the wrong time. But isn’t Booth going to feel silly when he learns that Snuffy is two dudes in a suit.

An unfortunate end for a wild thing. This was not the way Maurice Sendak wrote it.

Another monster bites the dust. Sulley meets his end as Mike looks on in horror.

Moby Dick may have taken the life of Captain Ahab (spoiler alert), but David Booth is a skilled hunter. Also, he had the good fortune of encountering the great white whale on land. That was a distinct advantage.

Rest easy, Al Gore. ManBearPig has finally been brought to justice.

Considering the Lorax’s beliefs and how they likely differ from Booth’s, I think you could argue this is a killing with motive. Someone ask those Sneetches if they saw anything.

Adam Mackay-Smith gives us Booth ending the life of Jabba the Hutt. Now seems as good a time as any to ask how, exactly, you can choke Jabba the Hutt. He’s a terrestrial gastropod. He has a pneumostome, not a windpipe. This is the most unbelievable thing about the Star Wars universe.

I don’t feel too bad about this one. The Grimace, who represents both the ambiguity and the purpleness of purple drank, is a menace and he had to be stopped.

Mike Haire gives us the death of a giant baby jackalope. Somewhere, Dave Coulier weeps.

That’s not pizza sauce, you guys. This is just a really graphic photo. Thanks to Adam Mackay-Smith for this one.

And Yo Gabba Gabba! is down a character. Poor Toodee should have known better than to cross David Booth. Meanwhile, Gooble mourns her. But that creepy thing mourns everything.

The neverending story finally ends for Falcor the Luckdragon. Tough luck, Falcor.

And thus ends the rampage of Crocosaurus. Somewhere, Megashark sheds a single tear. Then eats an airplane.

Kids everywhere weep as David Booth finally takes down Clifford the Big Red Dog.

Wherein David Booth enters the Final Fantasy universe and fells a chocobo.

“It was Booth that killed the Beast.” – Carl Denham

The planet of Tattooine has one less Bantha. Oh great, said one Tusken Raider, now I’m gonna have to walk.

Hey, remember Alf? David Booth does. And he killed him.

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20 comments

  1. MaggieLizer
    October 12, 2012

    And yet, not ONE picture of Abe Lincoln.

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    Rating: +6 (from 6 votes)
  2. jimbob
    October 12, 2012

    i was scrolling down this post laughing and thinking to myself ‘ man this list is long’, but then i realized that my fellow bulies have nothing better to do without hockey on and got sad :(

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    Rating: +9 (from 9 votes)
    • Garth
      October 12, 2012

      What are bulies?

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      Rating: -2 (from 6 votes)
    • Nee
      October 12, 2012

      I was thinking the same thing. Man there are alot of pictures…

      I think the lockout may push PITB into crazy land, which I look forward to. Plus, perhaps the guys will bring back the Zombie series!!!!!

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      Rating: +7 (from 7 votes)
      • Gadsby
        October 12, 2012

        David Booth, zombie hunter.

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        Rating: +5 (from 5 votes)
  3. Jacob
    October 12, 2012

    I think Luongo’s follow-up tweet might have been one of his finest since he joined Twitter:
    “Wait is that an “escape goat” ? DAMN YOU @D_Booth7!!!!”

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    Rating: +21 (from 23 votes)
  4. TheWellwoods
    October 12, 2012

    The sooner the lockout ends, the sooner we can put a stop to this needless bloodshed.

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    Rating: +9 (from 11 votes)
  5. Bob
    October 12, 2012

    In case anyone was wondering, Grimace, of McDonald land fame, is supposed to be a taste bud.

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    Rating: +5 (from 5 votes)
    • Harrison Mooney
      October 12, 2012

      NO. HE REPRESENTS PURPLE DRANK.

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      Rating: +12 (from 12 votes)
      • Dan
        October 13, 2012

        Nothing can stop the Grimace.

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        Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  6. GordieTee
    October 12, 2012

    Man, you guys are way off. His next trophy is ovbiously Man.

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    Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
  7. thespindler
    October 12, 2012

    I like that nobody is getting butthurt over him hunting like last time. He eats the animals he hunts, he shoots them legally, he is safe and has fun. That’s what I would want to be doing if I had some time off. Good on ya David!

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    Rating: +2 (from 12 votes)
  8. jenny wren
    October 12, 2012

    So now he’s killed a mountain goat,
    And you seek to find it funny!
    (You sadly missed the Easter Bunny.)
    What bothers most’s his smiling gloat,
    And next the bloody camo coat!

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    Rating: 0 (from 12 votes)
  9. biznow
    October 12, 2012

    thanks for removing the bits of horn that were sticking out of the abominable snowman, I didnt notice it until after I sent it. Much obliged.

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  10. Gimmic
    October 13, 2012

    Ugh. Long live the day when Booth can take his mythical hunting to another team.

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    Rating: -3 (from 11 votes)
  11. akidd
    October 13, 2012

    you know, harrison, i think i know what you’re trying to do. rather than react with an angry kneejerk(like myself) you just patiently keep giving his hunting as much press as possible. and you keep poking fun. much more effective than outrage i concede. kudos.

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    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  12. Arlo
    October 13, 2012

    This – “The Forest Spirit from Princess Mononoke?” This is why I come here

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    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  13. Rituro
    October 15, 2012

    Not Yoshi!! YOU MONSTER!!

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  14. Mike
    October 15, 2012

    lol at not knowing what a mountain goat is, but using the term ‘pneumostome.’

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    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)
  15. doc
    October 20, 2012

    No Ogopogo?

    David, stay away from Fin….

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