Scott Rintoul joins Team PITB for Road Hockey to Conquer Cancer

Tomorrow morning at dawn, road hockey will be taking over Concord Pacific Place. From 9:00 am to 5:00 pm, Road Hockey to Conquer Cancer will be the only hockey worth watching. Also, it will be the only hockey. The event is open to the public, so come down and watch some road hockey, listen to some music, and meet some former Canucks greats like Cliff Ronning, Orland Kurtenbach, Geoff Courtnall, and Richard Brodeur.

Pass it to Bulis will be there with our team of highly-trained and talented readers. Please note: they are highly-trained and talented at reading, not at playing hockey. We make no guarantees of how good we’ll be at playing hockey.

While our team is already stacked with celebrities (Harrison and myself, obviously, as well as Dean Back, bassist for Theory of a Deadman), we had the opportunity to participate in the Celebrity Draft as a wild card entry. With the 19th selection in the first round, we selected Scott Rintoul, Team 1040 radio host and actor. You might not be familiar with his work as an actor, but his portrayal of Trainee Guard #1 in Alcatraz was sublime.

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David Booth kills the Forest Spirit, and other creatures of myth

By now, it should be perfectly clear that David Booth doesn’t care what you think. Well, he sort of does. I mean, the other day, he sullenly tweeted, “Every time I tweet I lose followers”, but when several responses explaining the phenomenon came back to him — stop tweeting photos of things you done killed, bro — he chose not to change his spots, like a leopard (and then he probably killed a leopard).

On Thursday, Booth successfully ended the life of yet another beast and saw fit to share it with his squeamish audience. That’s what you’re looking at above.

But what the heck is what you’re looking at? As Roberto Luongo tweeted in response, “Ok NOW you are just making up animals no?” Is that a goat of some kind? A four-legged Appalachian Fearsquatch, as Justin Bourne suggested? The Forest Spirit from Princess Mononoke?

The species of the dead thing above may be unclear, but one thing does seem clear: with so much time on his hands, David Booth has grown weary of hunting things that exist and crossed over in the realms of lore. “There’s only one trophy in the world harder to get than this… And I’m getting that next,” said Booth, ominously. Lock up your fictional characters, people, because David Booth will be trying to kill them for as long as the lockout endures. What follows is a preview of what we can expect Booth to tweet in the months to come:

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I Didn’t Watch This Game: Canucks at Calgary Flames, October 11, 2012

Thursday night was supposed to be game 1 of 82 for the Vancouver Canucks, a welcome end to an offseason that, thanks to a five-game postseason, began far, far earlier than anyone expected it to. Unfortunately, thanks to the owners (represented by Gary Bettman, lockout champion), and the players (represented by Donald Fehr, the expert negotiator hired by the players to expertly not negotiate), that game was cancelled. As the two sides continue to meet without discussing the core economic issues, preferring instead to stage fiddling contests in the city square of a burning Rome, the long offseason grows ever longer.

Thus, rather than convening in Calgary to officially signal the beginning of the 2011-12 season, the Canucks and Flames stayed home — with the exceptions of a select few, such as Anton Babchuk, who is playing for Ukrainian KHL team Donbass Donetsk, Dale Weise, off to the land of the Dutch, and David Booth, who stepped into the wardrobe and has been hunting the mythical creatures of Narnia and eating Turkish delight since the moment the lockout began.

There was no season-opener because there is no season. And since there was no game to watch, I didn’t watch this game.

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