Not even Michael Buble can save the ugliest knockoff Canucks poncho in existence

You’re looking at a close-up shot of the worst knockoff Canucks poncho I’ve ever seen.

I encountered it this summer in Mexico at a shop in Playa Del Carmen. A lot of the merchants along the strip were hocking NHL knockoff gear, likely because of the surfeit of Canadians that vacation in the area, but this particular article jumped out at me, as did the merchant’s sale pitch. He tried draw me in by insisting that the poncho was official, licensed gear, and then misread my raised eyebrow as full-blown suckerdom and asked $150 for it. Of course, I know full well that the NHL store doesn’t have a line of licensed ponchos, and I also know that official licensed Canucks gear wouldn’t have “Vancouver” written in wrap text inside of the orca.

And the colour scheme was all wrong. The merchant insisted it was up-to-date, but it looked more like something from the West Coast Express era. Of course, that jersey was navy blue, deep blue, and maroon with silver trim. The poncho was blue-black and cyan with brick red and white trim.

But it was such a trainwreck that I had to have it, if only to share with you fine people. Thus, my wife and I used our highly impressive haggling skills to talk the guy down to $30, and brought it home.

Now, the only way for you to get a full understanding of this thing’s true heinousness is to see it on somebody, but I’m no model. (I know nothing of smizing, for one thing.) Better to hand this off to somebody with experience having his picture taken. So we got Michael Bublé to wear it.

As you can see, the three-time Grammy winner really committed to the photo. The gunslinger pose was entirely his idea.

If you look closely, you’ll see that Bublé also signed the poncho with an “88″. That’s the number he was given when he signed his one-day contract in December.

You read that right: he didn’t just wear this monstrosity. He signed it as a Canucks alumni. What a guy.

Here’s another look at the international superstar rocking the uggo poncho.

I’d say he almost pulls it off.

So here’s the plan with this poncho going forward: for the next year or so, we’re going to commit to finding other people of note willing to follow in Bublé’s footsteps and don the poncho for a pic and maybe an autograph.

Once the fun has run its course and the poncho has been fully celebritized, we’ll auction it off and donate the proceeds to the Canucks For Kids Fund.

Help us out. If you happen to know any famous people (or perhaps you are one), hit us up at passittobulis@gmail.com.

Huge thanks to Michaels Bublé and Kalanj for helping kickstart this project.

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12 comments

  1. swizzler
    October 9, 2012

    I’d say Freddy Savage looks pretty unimpressed with the poncho.

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    Rating: +3 (from 5 votes)
  2. steviewire
    October 9, 2012

    Wow a Canucks poncho! Good score!

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    Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)
  3. Ken Johnson
    October 9, 2012

    $30? You still got ripped off.

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    Rating: +11 (from 11 votes)
    • Harrison Mooney
      October 9, 2012

      I think I’ve recouped my losses.

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      Rating: +9 (from 9 votes)
  4. natevk
    October 9, 2012

    If you can get a current Canuck player to wear that I would be incredibly pleased and impressed

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    Rating: +7 (from 7 votes)
    • JS Topher
      October 9, 2012

      Or better yet, Tanner Glass in the next Scrabble Match Up

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      Rating: +13 (from 13 votes)
  5. cathylu
    October 9, 2012

    Good job! I agree …that was a “must have” item. I look forward to future “celebrity” photos.

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    Rating: +4 (from 4 votes)
  6. Canucklehead_in_T.O.
    October 9, 2012

    “… I know full well that the NHL store doesn’t have a line of licensed ponchos”

    And THAT, my friends, is precisely why the NHL will never make it big.
    What a shame.

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    Rating: +18 (from 18 votes)
  7. APCanucks7
    October 9, 2012

    This is awesome, especially since being a Burnaby local like Buble, I realized you took this picture in a McDonald’s parking lot!!

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    Rating: +5 (from 5 votes)
  8. tj
    October 9, 2012

    “Hocking”? Ha. I’m going to assume that is a deliberate hockey-related play on ‘hawking’…

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  9. Andrew Fleming
    October 9, 2012

    I’ll bet Bif Naked could be talked into donning the poncho.

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    Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)
  10. Nee
    October 9, 2012

    Haha, you guys are great. PITB wins the internet again!

    If you’re going to the charity game (I’m sure you are), it would be ridiculously awesome if you could bully Bieksa into wearing that. His smirk + that poncho = Awesome.

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    Rating: +7 (from 7 votes)