You’re looking at a close-up shot of the worst knockoff Canucks poncho I’ve ever seen.
I encountered it this summer in Mexico at a shop in Playa Del Carmen. A lot of the merchants along the strip were hocking NHL knockoff gear, likely because of the surfeit of Canadians that vacation in the area, but this particular article jumped out at me, as did the merchant’s sale pitch. He tried draw me in by insisting that the poncho was official, licensed gear, and then misread my raised eyebrow as full-blown suckerdom and asked $150 for it. Of course, I know full well that the NHL store doesn’t have a line of licensed ponchos, and I also know that official licensed Canucks gear wouldn’t have “Vancouver” written in wrap text inside of the orca.
And the colour scheme was all wrong. The merchant insisted it was up-to-date, but it looked more like something from the West Coast Express era. Of course, that jersey was navy blue, deep blue, and maroon with silver trim. The poncho was blue-black and cyan with brick red and white trim.
But it was such a trainwreck that I had to have it, if only to share with you fine people. Thus, my wife and I used our highly impressive haggling skills to talk the guy down to $30, and brought it home.
Now, the only way for you to get a full understanding of this thing’s true heinousness is to see it on somebody, but I’m no model. (I know nothing of smizing, for one thing.) Better to hand this off to somebody with experience having his picture taken. So we got Michael Bublé to wear it.
As you can see, the three-time Grammy winner really committed to the photo. The gunslinger pose was entirely his idea.
If you look closely, you’ll see that Bublé also signed the poncho with an “88″. That’s the number he was given when he signed his one-day contract in December.
You read that right: he didn’t just wear this monstrosity. He signed it as a Canucks alumni. What a guy.
Here’s another look at the international superstar rocking the uggo poncho.
I’d say he almost pulls it off.
So here’s the plan with this poncho going forward: for the next year or so, we’re going to commit to finding other people of note willing to follow in Bublé’s footsteps and don the poncho for a pic and maybe an autograph.
Once the fun has run its course and the poncho has been fully celebritized, we’ll auction it off and donate the proceeds to the Canucks For Kids Fund.
Help us out. If you happen to know any famous people (or perhaps you are one), hit us up at email@example.com.
Huge thanks to Michaels Bublé and Kalanj for helping kickstart this project.Tags: Michael Buble, Ugliest Canucks Poncho