With the NHL lockout in just-short-of-full-swing (bunt?), Canucks players are left with a lot of time on their hands. Some fill that time with hunting wildlife, angering animal lovers, and discussing the merits of sneezing, but Kevin Bieksa is apparently filling that time with silly interviews.
Bieksa once again appeared on 99.3 The Fox’s Jeff O’Neil Show and, knowing Bieksa and his tendency towards quotability, we knew it would be worth a listen. His last appearance on the show yielded such gems as Mason Raymond’s irritability when his face is damaged, tips on manscaping your chest (“It’s 2011, not 1973. You gotta keep things tight.”), and Bieksa flat out calling one of the host’s questions “stupid.”
What gifts did Bieksa have for us in Tuesday’s interview? Take a listen.
Here are the highlights for those at work or anyone who doesn’t want their family and friends to know they listen to The Fox.
- It causes me physical and emotional pain every time the hosts call Bieksa “Boom Boom.” There is only one “Boom Boom” in hockey, and that’s Bernie “Boom Boom” Geoffrion. Seriously, guys.
- Bieksa is driving in Alaska during the interview; I’m hoping he uses Bluetooth. He also says he’ll be climbing Mount McKinley later in the day, the highest mountain in North America. I’m hoping he’s not going to try to summit the peak, which apparently takes two to four weeks. “No big deal,” says Bieksa.
- Bieksa talks about the NHLPA’s website and mobile app that they use to keep the player’s updated. Apparently there’s also a feature for members of the NHLPA to give input on any of the issues surrounding the negotiations. No word on whether there’s a “take-slapshots-at-cartoon-Bettman” mini game.
- “Boom Boom, are you doing anything to keep yourself in shape in case the lockout ends tomorrow or have you totally let yourself go and it’s nothing but pork rinds and cold gravy 24/7?” “Yeah, I basically just look like you guys right now,” was Bieksa’s awesome reply to that awful question.
- Bieksa’s sarcastic laugh in response to yet another dumb question at around 2:58 is hilarious. “You wanna try that laugh again?” replies O’Neil, missing the joke. “That’s my lockout laugh to a dumb question,” clarifies Bieksa. Never change, Juice.
- The most interesting part of the interview to me was the revelation that the Canucks won’t be allowed to wear Rick Rypien’s #37 on their jerseys this year. “I think we have a one-year shelf life with that with the NHL,” said Bieksa. “Every team does when they want to honour or pay tribute to a player, so we’re not going to be able to do that this year.” That’s a shame, but Bieksa suggests they’ll find other ways to raise awareness for Rypien and Mindcheck.ca.
- “Fill in the blank,” says the same guy who asked the previous two stupid questions, “if I saw little Gary Bettman on the street, I would *blank* him in the face.” Bieksa doesn’t rise to the bait: “Turning on him won’t really help.”
- “There are some guys who are on Twitter,” says Bieksa, “They’re Tweepers. They don’t tweet, but they creep. They’re out there, they’re listening and they’re watching.” Look out Twitter: the Canucks are out there, listening and watching. They’ve got their knees flexing and their arms T-Rexing.
- Bieksa’s apparently in Alaska with Max Lapierre, leading to the revelation that Lapierre doesn’t like The Jeff O’Neil Show. “He doesn’t like you guys,” says Bieksa, which means I’m pretty sure that Lapierre and I would get along just fine.
- Stop asking Bieksa to join your beer league team. “It’s funny how many tweets I’m getting…after the 400th one, it’s like ‘good one,’ I’m not coming to play on your team.”
- Does Bieksa pee in the shower? “I can’t answer that, which is basically admitting to it.”
- Odds of Bieksa appearing in studio on the Jeff O’Neil Show? “6%.” When they miss the best possible response to that answer, Bieksa gives it for them: “So you’re saying there’s a chance.” Okay, so he misquoted the line, but it was still funny.
Tags: jeff o'neill
, Kevin Bieksa
, kevin bieksa is amazing