Canucks fans are inherently self-effacing.
While many hockey fans are descending into despair and cynicism in the wake of this lockout, the Vancouver Canucks Twitter account gleefully soldiers on. If they weren’t being paid to be so optimistic, it would be downright admirable.
On Tuesday, they attempted to infect the rest of us with their sappy cheer, tweeting “I became a Canucks fan because…” in the hopes of filling us with the warm fuzzies of reminiscence.
But it didn’t quite work. For some, this was an opportunity to tell their moving conversion stories. I was riding my donkey on the road to Damascus when all of a sudden Trevor Linden appeared before me in a brilliant shaft of light… that sort of thing. But for others, it was merely an opportunity to be a smartass. After all, Canuck fans are grumpy gusses most of the time as it is, but in the midst of a lockout, they’re even gloomier than usual. “I became a Canucks fan because of their revolutionary social media strategy,” dour old Cam Charron tweeted, and he wasn’t the only one that met the optimism of @vancanucks with pure, unadulterated snark. Here are some of our favourites.
— Thomas Drance (@ThomasDrance) September 25, 2012
Get it? Because the Canucks have a lot of Swedes. Or also because it’s the name for a psychological phenomenon in which hostages develop feelings of empathy and affection for their captors.
— CS (@notafullcolon) September 25, 2012
This affiliation goes the other way, too. If you like the Canucks on Facebook, “Whipped with a switch” pops up in the sidebar as something you might also like.
— The Tinfoil Tuque (@tinfoiltuque) September 25, 2012
On that same note, I cannot believe no one made an “O Brother, Where are Thou?” photoshop when Daniel Sedin was out with that concussion. Missed opportunity.
— Fear The Fin (@fearthefin) September 25, 2012
— Alexandra Ransford (@alexlovesburrs) September 25, 2012
It’s a congenital birth anomaly, like a tail or a sixth finger.
— Canucks Misconduct (@nucksmisconduct) September 25, 2012
ALL GLORY TO THE FLYING V.
— Dapper Don Khatkar (@DanielKhatkar) September 25, 2012
Damn right. We have two. How many does your lame team have?
— Stephan (@Stephan_Legal) September 25, 2012
Uh oh. I’ve got bad news for you, guy.
— Mike Martignago (@MikeMartignago) September 25, 2012
Luckily, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.
— James Gordon (@SensReporter) September 25, 2012
Who doesn’t? It’s like Twilight up in here! Speaking of which:
— Winging It In Motown (@wingingitmotown) September 25, 2012
And Chris Higgins sparkles when he goes outside. And speaking of Higgins:
— GayCanuck (@GayCanuck) September 25, 2012
I don’t doubt it. Heck, that might still be true if his handle were @straightcanuck. Chris Higgins’s abs are that impressive.
— Kevin Sellathamby (@NonAmericanHero) September 25, 2012
Sometimes a man needs a little motivation to drink his life away.
— Spencer Callaghan (@Senturion) September 25, 2012
The Vancouver Canucks: number one with public vandals.
— Alix (@alixiswright37) September 25, 2012
Pretty much sums it up.