‘Lockout Man’ is a parody song for troubled times, by troubled men (VIDEO)

A few days ago, an acquaintance asked me how long the NHL lockout would last. I told him the same thing I’ve been telling a lot of people: in my mind, the Winter Classic is a drop dead date. The owners don’t want to miss it and they’ll work to make sure they don’t. Unfortunately, wanting something reduces your leverage, and Gary Bettman is too skilled a negotiator to lose a labour battle over one game. If the game threatens a deal he believes is fair, he’ll cancel it in a heartbeat, like those guys that say “I can quit smoking whenever I want,” then throw the pack in the garbage to prove the point.

“I think it’s gonna be a long, long time,” said my acquaintance.

In the sad, silent moment that followed, my mind immediately turned to Elton John’s “Rocket Man”, which features the same line. From there, the idea for “Lockout Man” was born. And, since there are no NHL preseason games eating into my free time, this video was born shortly thereafter:

That’s me attempting to imitate Elton John’s inimitable vocals. I’m sorry.

Frequent musical collaborator and PITB co-editor Daniel Wagner was my partner-in-crime here, contributing guitar and additional vocals, just as he did on last week’s Song for Nelson Ong. He also programmed the drums. Musical genius Bryan Binnema is on the keys. (True fact: Bryan walked in, sat down, said, “I’ve never really listened to the song, so can I hear it?” And after hearing it twice, he played the whole thing. It sucks how talented Bryan is.)

And finally, king of the hockey blogs Greg Wyshynski put the video together with a few photoshops from yours truly. The video was originally featured at Puck Daddy and the song’s full lyrics are hosted there as well, if you’re interested.

First one to make us a Shatnerized version wins the Internet.

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  1. swizzler
    September 25, 2012


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  2. chicken hawk
    September 25, 2012


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  3. Maplemusketeer
    September 26, 2012

    I love how you guys are bringing your various skills and passions together to create such uniquely awesome stuff.

    Keep it up. Including the Wagnerian falsetto ;)

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  4. tj
    September 26, 2012

    I think it’s fantastic. Some of those PD folks are a nasty bunch, aren’t they? Glad I don’t post there. The aholery of some of those folks is indicative of the reason I stayed away from hockey fandom for a long time. Youse guys are part of the reason I returned. Stay sane in your loony-clever PITB-way, fellas.

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