Twenty-five alternate explanations for why Shane Doan chose Phoenix over Vancouver

Despite flirting all summer like Sandy Olsson and Danny Zuko in Grease, Shane Doan and the Vancouver Canucks simply weren’t meant to be. The Phoenix Coyotes captain opted for an 18th year in Arizona instead, re-signing with the embattled and permanently ownerless Phoenix Coyotes for $21.2 million over four years.

I’ll admit I don’t understand it. I’ve been to Phoenix. It’s a nice place, and the fact that it has a freeway through the downtown core is a marked improvement on Vancouver’s gridlocked, nigh unnavigable streets. But I can’t imagine loving the city so much that I would put up with what Doan has put up with, let alone make the concessions Doan has made to stay there. Come on, no one loves Phoenix that much.

That in mind, it must be something else. Here are 25 alternate explanations for why Doan chose Phoenix over Vancouver.

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Shane Doan re-signs with Phoenix, because he’s as loyal as Alex Burrows

Back in the middle of July, the Vancouver Canucks offered UFA Shane Doan a contract. So did almost every other team in the NHL, as well as a few AHL teams, the Bikini Hockey League, and a confused NBA franchise. I’m pretty sure it was the Charlotte Bobcats, but the rumours remain unconfirmed. Doan’s agent insisted to anyone who would listen that there was “mutual interest” in every single offer.

I didn’t buy it. Doan has played for the same franchise for 17 years. The only season he didn’t play in Phoenix was his rookie year in Winnipeg. He’s laid down roots in Phoenix and has no interest in leaving the city. The only reason he entertained the option was because of the ownership turmoil, which finally looks like it’s settling down (maybe) with Greg Jamison.

With that said, the ownership issues in Phoenix are far from ironed out and Doan indicated that he wouldn’t re-sign with the Coyotes until they were. That’s why the report that Doan’s decision was down to Phoenix and Vancouver got everyone all worked up. Even my steady confidence that Doan was absolutely staying in Phoenix started getting a little shaky. Would Doan jump ship and join the Canucks?

Nope. Turns out that Doan is just as loyal to his team as Burrows is to Vancouver, as he re-signed with the Coyotes for 4 years and $21.2 million.

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Alex Burrows’s contract extension just got Keslurked

Undeterred by his impending expendability, Alex Burrows re-upped with the Vancouver Canucks Friday, signing an extension worth $18 million. Fans were delighted to learn that they’ll get at least four more years of the finger-biting, dragon-slaying, hair-pulling former ECHLer.

The Canucks were likely delighted too, and not just because Burrows complements the Sedins so well, but because they were running out of time to get this one done. While it seemed like the two sides might be far apart earlier this week, they managed to find some middle ground just in time, inking the deal a little over an hour ahead of the 2pm deadline. (If only other negotiations could go so well, perhaps this deadline need not have even existed.)

Then, pleased as punch, they tweeted an instagrammed photo of Burrows and Jedi Laurence Gilman sneaking the extension in.

But one look at the photo shows that Burrows putting the pen to paper wasn’t the only instance of sneakery taking place.

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Terrified by Shane Doan making him expendable, Alex Burrows signs extension

Earlier today, News 1130 terrified Canucks fans with the possibility that the Canucks might not re-sign the beloved Alex Burrows. It must have terrified Burrows too, since only 3 hours later, the Canucks signed Burrows to a 4-year contract extension worth a total of $18 million, according to reports from Dan Murphy on Twitter.

Burrows has played his entire career for the Canucks and has shown a lot of loyalty to the team that gave him his shot in the NHL. Coming off a 28-goal, 51-point season in 2008-09, Burrows gave the Canucks a hometown discount, signing for 4 years at $2-million per year. He rewarded the Canucks by becoming one of the best bang for the buck players in the NHL, scoring 89 goals over the first three years of that contract.

It wasn’t just the quantity of goals, however, it was the quality. Burrows scored important goals for the Canucks, none bigger than his game 7 overtime gamewinner in round one of the 2011 playoffs, finally sending the Canucks past the Blackhawks after being bounced by them in the previous two years. It was that tendency that endeared him the most to Canucks fans.

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No, Virginia, signing Shane Doan doesn’t mean Alex Burrows is done in Vancouver

Canucks fans are on edge today, waiting to find out whether Shane Doan will be their new favourite player or not. With the news that Doan is down to deciding between Vancouver and Phoenix by 2:00 pm today, excitement and nervousness abound. While many are thrilled with the prospect of adding a player with Doan’s skill and experience, others have their concerns.

Doan will be 36 by the time the season starts; is he too far past his prime? He’s scored 30+ goals just twice in his career and has never scored a point-per-game; is he overhyped? He plays a hard-nosed, physical style; could injury problems crop up as his career comes to a close?

These are all valid concerns to discuss. Today, a new, completely invalid, concern was introduced to the conversation. Could the signing of Shane Doan signal the end of Alex Burrows?

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Pass it to Bulis presents: ‘Song for Nelson Ong’ (VIDEO)

As you may know, Pass it to Bulis is raising $10,000 in support of Road Hockey to Conquer Cancer, an event that takes place in Vancouver on October 13th. We’re proud to announce we’re now one-fifth of the way towards our goal, having reached $2000 in pledges thanks in no small part to Nelson Ong, who made a generous donation of $500 Thursday afternoon.

Now, according to the incentives we laid out, a $500 donation doesn’t just garner our sincerest appreciation — it also garners “Hall of Famer” status, which comes with a musical ditty written, composed, recorded and Youtube’d by the two of us.

Perhaps we should have made this reward less attainable, but we are men of our word. Here is that ditty. Now, we know nothing whatsoever about Nelson apart from his name and that he gave us $500, but that didn’t stop us, man. Submitted for the approval of the midnight society (and also Nelson Ong), we present, “Song for Nelson Ong.”

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Shane Doan chooses between Vancouver and Phoenix Friday; will this affect Roberto Luongo?

Last week, Shane Doan made a solemn vow that he would sign somewhere by midnight on September 15th, although his recent history of extended deadlines made us wonder if this was an empty threat.

Turns out it was. According to a recent report by John Gambadoro, a radio host on Sports 620 KTAR in Phoenix, Doan has once again spurned his own deadline. But here’s the twist: the winger has actually moved it ahead for once. Gambadoro says that Doan will sign somewhere by 2pm on September 14th. What’s more, “somewhere” is one of only two places: Phoenix… or Vancouver. (Hey! that’s where we live!)

We’ve been real Debbie Downers about the Canucks’ chances thus far, but if Gambadoro’s report is to be believed, you sort of have to like them now. After all, Doan has said that he needs Greg Jamison’s deal with the city of Glendale to go through before he signs that four-year deal with the Coyotes, but what are the odds of that deal getting completed tomorrow? Heck, the last time someone successfully completed a deal to purchase the Coyotes was in 2005.

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