Shane Doan has deal in place with stupid Coyotes that refuse to go away

The Shane Doan saga is a neverending story. Even the report that he’s signed isn’t the end of it.

Back on Monday, we waded into the epic of Shane Doan, explaining that, by all accounts, the winger wanted to remain in Phoenix and was merely waiting for Greg Jamison to finalize a deal to keep the Coyotes afloat so that he could.

Now we have another account to add to the pile, and it comes from Doan himself. On Thursday, Doan appeared on Phoenix’s XTRA 910 radio and said pretty much what we expected: Greg Jamison has survived his trip to the Central Bureaucracy, and the moment he is announced as owner, an extension with Doan will be announced as well.

In fact, according to Doan, that deal is already in place. Here’s Doan, whose full comments have been helpfully transcribed by Sarah McLellan of the Arizona Republic:

Yeah, I will be signed by midnight on the 15th. I’ll sign somewhere. My goal is to sign here, and I’ve told everybody … My goal has been to stay here the whole time. Don and Tip and the organization have been great. We have a deal worked out that we just want to make sure that the team gets signed and that everything gets done and it gets done before the 15th.

So there you have it. Doan is a Coyote, unless some part of the deal falls apart or gets held up until just after midnight on the 15th. At that point, the Coyotes turn into a pumpkin and Doan would be forced to go home with one of ugly stepsisters.

Doan added that he had narrowed down his list of ugly stepsisters to “two or three” teams. Presumably, the Canucks are one of them.

All in all, this is just confirmation or what we already thought we knew, but it does raise the stakes somewhat. On Monday, we said Doan will probably be signing in Phoenix, barring a catastrophe. Now it’s clear he will definitely be signing in Phoenix barring a catastrophe.

Speaking of what I said on Monday, those of you who read this blog on the regular likely picked up on the tongue-in-cheekery of my Shakespeare-tinged yearnings for the Coyotes’ untimely end. Truth is, I like the Coyotes. It just so happens that the only way Vancouver gets their best player is if they’re no longer in the running for him, and I like the Canucks more. So it goes.

But, as often happens when outsiders find their way to this daft wing of the Interwebs, the facetious tone was missed by the good folks at Arizona Sports blog the Haboob, who took my overwrought, Pyramus-lifted diatribe very seriously.

Let’s take a look. From ArizonaSports.com:

C’mon, Vancouver, you’re better than that (we think). Sure, you light your beautiful city on fire in the infrequent event that you make it to and lose the Stanley Cup Finals, but the Coyotes being erased from the hockey map won’t really help your chances of hoisting the holy chalice.

If Doan ends up wearing the colors of the Canucks (by the way what combination are you sporting these days — blue and maroon, blue and green or this monstrosity?), enjoy him. He’s one of the best competitors and captains in any sport.

But do you really have to root for the Coyotes’ demise?

Aw man, riot jokes? Lame.

For what it’s worth, Arizona also had a riot in 2010, and embarrassing as our riot was, at no point was anyone involved asked for proof of citizenship. (Though maybe they should have been.)

And actually, the Coyotes being erased from the hockey map probably would help the Canucks’ chances of hoisting the holy chalice. That was my whole point. In response to your final question (“do you really have to root for the Coyotes’ demise?”), well, if we want Shane Doan, according to this most recent report, then yes.

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12 comments

  1. Zippy
    September 7, 2012

    Mumble mumble glass houses mumble mumble stones…

    http://hockeyjersey.co/wp-content/uploads/store/products/images/1244400480871831.jpg
    http://www.revolutionworld.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/Phoenix-coyotes-throwback.jpg

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    • Fruzenius
      September 7, 2012

      Oh man, that almost made me vomit. Worst jersey

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      Rating: +6 (from 6 votes)
    • tom selleck's moustache
      September 7, 2012

      Lol, nice delivery.

      And I was thinking the same thing in regards to people getting so uppity over the last article; I thought it was pretty obvious that it was all tongue in cheek. Who knew.

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  2. Peanutflower
    September 7, 2012

    Petty, I know, but weren’t a couple of Americans involved in the riot as well? It’s sort of pot and kettle right? Anyway, for the kind of money Doan wants he can stay in the sun. He’s too old and past his prime and all those platitudes. That’s my argument and I’m sticking with it

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    • Peanutflower
      September 7, 2012

      Dang. Missed the link and accordingly restated the obvious.

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  3. hillybilly
    September 7, 2012

    Love those old Jerseys!!!!!!!

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  4. SteveB
    September 7, 2012

    http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v390/skb/misc%20stuff/random_stuff/PITB/gillis_reels_doan_in.jpg

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  5. Mauschen
    September 7, 2012

    Coyotes fans are really jumpy, what with three years of ownership debacle and enormous amounts of hatred from Nordiques fans (previously Jets fans) who want the team to move. So I suspect that has affected our ability to read sarcasm. I adore Harrison Mooney’s writing and the Canucks, but I’m a Coyotes fan first and even I had a hard time being entirely okay with the jokes (I recognized them as jokes! I promise!) about the demise of the Phoenix team.

    Due to all of that, I was reluctant to click to read today’s article. But I’m so glad I did because that banner of Doan-face on Falcor totally made my afternoon!

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  6. DubiousRhino
    September 7, 2012

    Jeez Harrison, you can not catch a break this year can you? Seems everyone is making you out to be some sort of heel sports writer. I guess any publicity is good? Maybe?

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    • Harrison Mooney
      September 7, 2012

      I can’t win! It’s weird too, because I’m really nice in real life!

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      Rating: +6 (from 6 votes)
      • Sara
        September 8, 2012

        One of my favorite blogs in Sweden does political satires and sometimes have the warning decal on top (roughly translated of course) “Warning! This is a satire. Any similarities with reality is however fully intentional.” Perhaps something similar sometimes would help? Otherwise ice cream’s good comfort food:) Or form a club for the misunderstood?

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  7. Locky
    September 7, 2012

    Good. Did not want.

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