Spitballin’ (or Super Pass It To Bulis: All In, if you love adventurous acronymizing) is a feature that allows us to touch on a multitude of things really fast, because in the world of hockey, there are always lots of things to find and colour. Here are a few quick topics.
Salo bolts to Bolts, upsetting several
The departure of longtime Canuck and Vancouver’s most beloved, mishap-prone Finn, Sami Salo, hit many Vancouver fans hard. Perhaps none took it as badly as our own Chloe Ezra, who is as devoted a Salo fan as there is on this big blue planet. She expressed herself in this set of sketches:
One assumes that, if she and the rest of the Salo-lovers managed to compose themselves after they heard the news, they lost it again when Salo released a statement the following day. From that paper we write for:
“I want to express my sincere gratitude to the Canucks ownership, management and coaches for the opportunity to have been a part of such a wonderful organization,” Salo said in a statement released by the Lightning.
“I would like to thank my teammates for the friendship, hard-fought battles, and all of their support over the years. Most importantly, I would like to thank the fans in Vancouver for their support. I was not always a perfect player, but I always gave my best and I appreciate the way the fans treated me.”
Aw. I’m sad now.
Did the Canucks do the right thing in letting Salo go? In a word: verily. In a more modern word: yes.
Beloved as he was, Salo went from the Canucks “best defenceman” to a guy they didn’t particularly trust in their top four by the end of the season. Couple that with a list of injuries that outnumbers his years alive, and this summer was not the time to pay him the highest annual salary of his career. From a hockey standpoint, I wouldn’t worry too much about his move to Tampa.
From a personal health standpoint, however, I would. Between Salo’s super-pale skin and his penchant for curious injuries, he could be the first NHLer to miss time with a sunburn.
Mikael Samuelsson on HBO could be the best thing
In other former Canuck news, Mikael Samuelsson, whom we suspected might be on his last legs this season in Florida, has opted to keep playing, re-joining the Borg from which he came in Detroit. Samuelsson will make $6 million over the next two years with the Red Wings.
This is good news for Canuck fans, because it means we’ll get to see a lot more of him, and not just because Detroit visits with a little more regularity. The Red Wings are in the Winter Classic next season, which means Samuelsson and his famous candor, out-loud thinking, and occasional HBO language will see some time on Home Box Office’s third generation of the 24/7 franchise.
Hopefully, just before the cameras arrive, Samuelsson will be snubbed by a country. He doesn’t take that too well.
Watch all of Jason Garrison’s goals from last season
We’ll have much more on Garrison in the coming weeks (and years, since he has a full no-movement clause), but in the meantime, here’s a video compilation of all his goals from last season. Notice any patterns or trends? One that stands out to me is that he’s wearing a Panthers jersey in all of them. That should change.
And while we’re on the topic of goal compilations, our third offseason will be much like our first two. We’ll be starting up the “Every Goal” series next week, running through each and every tally tallied by a Canuck in 2011-12, player by player. Who should we do first?
Samjam: ya blew it
I missed this while I was away in sunny Mexico, but apparently, our old pal @samjam99 is absolutely determined to break that eventual Roberto Luongo trade, even if it means he has to fly a little too close to the sun on occasion. Last week, his ”BREAKING” report that Luongo was officially on his way to Florida was picked up by Jay Onrait, the best sports anchor in Canada.
Don’t worry — Onrait didn’t report it. He mocked it.
Don’t feel too bad, Samjam. Making Sportscentre is a big accomplishment, no matter how you do it. Granted, every other way is better, but still.
I hate to end this bit on a laugh at poor Samjam’s expense, though, so let’s let Onrait dance us out.
Roberto Luongo is just as bad
And anyway, Samjam was hardly the only guy giving misleading information on Luongo trades.
Well it’s official my BAGS ARE PACKED…..For Vegas! Going to play in the World Series of Poker Main Event this weekend! #superexcited
—Strombone (@strombone1) July 3, 2012
What a cheeky guy, especially since I wouldn’t put it past him to break his own trade.Tags: Chloe Ezra, Jason Garrison, jay onrait is ridiculous, Lightning, Red Wings, Sami Salo, samjam99, Samuelsson, spitballin